The Ancient Nine by Ian Smith

The Ancient Nine by Ian K. Smith is a book for people who like to work out puzzles and mysteries.

A poor black kid from south side Chicago, Spenser Collins worked for academic excellence, supported by his single mom. He is also a talented basketball player. His acceptance by Harvard University starts him on his way to medical school so he can pay his mom back and support her in style.

If getting into Harvard seemed like a stretch, receiving an invitation from an exclusive final club, the Gas, totally puts Spenser outside of his comfort zone. His friend Dalton, whose family has deep Boston and Harvard roots, encourages him to go for it. There is a mystery behind the Gas involving a secret chamber and a dead student in 1951. Dalton encourages Spenser that from inside the club he can solve the mystery of what really happened in 1951.

Elaborate parties with endless drinks and gourmet food, and sometimes even 'provided' women, is the social norm for the Gas. While the other boys overindulge, Spenser stays dry and trim for basketball.

Spenser and Dalton go on a chase that involves day jaunts to talk to elderly Gas members and hours spent in dusty libraries. They create a patchwork quilt of evidence, but none of it adds up.

Meanwhile, Spenser has met the love of his life, a townie who doesn't date Harvard men. She is also from a poor single mom and smart and determined to get an education.

I knew nothing about Harvard or final clubs or Cambridge. It all sounded pretty over the top to me, but a Goggle search confirmed these clubs are elite, with the 1% of the wealthiest and most prestigious families being members. The parties at mansions, the money, the exclusiveness, the white male predominance-- it's all real. I sure hope the bussed in women for the parties are not real, but I likely am hoping in vain.

The story dragged about mid-way. I was getting tired of late nights at libraries. The mystery involves King James I and puritanical writings and Knights of the Garter protecting the reputation of the King. It's all about libraries and books and a coverup.

For all the tension over perceived threats, it was all talk and little action. There is a revelation about corrupt money and power and Spenser learns about his family history.

One aspect of the story I liked was how it addressed the African American experience in this nearly all-white exclusive world of movers and shakers.

Overall, The Ancient Nine was an entertaining light read.

The Ancient Nine
by Ian Smith, M.D.
St. Martin's Press
Pub Date 18 Sep 2018
ISBN 9781250182395
PRICE $27.99 (USD)

Guilty Thing: A Life of Thomas De Quincy by Frances Wilson

Thomas De Quincy is generally remembered for his Diary Of an English Opium Eater. I once had a 19th c copy of that book and read it, or rather read at it. As far as the Romantic Era in literature, I knew a little Wordsworth and Samuel Taylor Coleridge from college days.

Then a few years ago, I read Charlotte Gordon's Romantic Outlaws, a marvelous book on Mary Shelly and her mother Mary Wollstonecraft. Mary Godwin Shelly heard Coleridge recite his famous poem The Rime of the Ancient Mariner one night when she was supposed to be in bed. I learned about Percy Bysshe Shelly and Lord Byron.

This whole, crazy, pre-Victorian wild world was a marvel. Why didn't my teachers tell us these things back in the 60's? Surely we would have understood the Romantic counter-culture as similar to the world we were growing up in!

My interest piqued, I finally was able to pick up this biography of De Quincy and through his life learned about William Wordsworth and Coleridge and the movement they founded, which had lured De Quincy to them like a moth to a flame, sure he had found his true home in their philosophy.

What an interesting life! De Quincy was well-read and had a capacious memory. He thought that school had nothing to teach him and he dropped out just before gaining his degree. He lived on the street, sharing any good fortune with a young prostitute. Coming of age, he inherited wealth, then squandered it.

Wilson describes this diminutive man, shy and uncertain, his brain packed with learning and books, standing on the path to Wordsworth's cottage with fear and trembling, then running away, gathering his courage to approach again several years later. First, he introduced himself to Wordsworth's special friend, Coleridge.

Finally meeting, De Quincy, an ardent apostle, was taken in by William and his sister Dorothy Wordsworth. William was distant but Dorothy became close to the younger De Quincy. And over the years, a disappointed De Quincy broke away from Wordsworth the man while still admiring his literary oeuvre.

Familiarity breeds contempt is one lesson from De Quincy's life.

Another lesson is that opium was perceived as a creative aid, but in reality, destroyed the body and pocketbook. And kept De Quincy from achieving the success that seemed to drop into Wordsworth's lap. The Romantic Era turned to sensibility, deeply felt emotions, in a pendulum swing away from the Age of Reason. Just as in the 1960s, drugs were believed to open the mind. 

De Quincy was not alone in his opium use; along with Coleridge, Percy Bysshe Shelly, we can add Branwell Bronte, the brilliant and doomed brother of his more illustrious sisters, who appeared at De Quincy's door in homage. De Quincy, avidly avoiding his creditors, did not answer. The drug was easily obtained because it was standard pharmaceutical fare. And John Jacob Aster made a fortune by shipping it to England.

De Quincy loved children, including his own, but was a lousy provider and part-time family man. Well, who can write at home surrounded by kids and wife and debt collectors? No, De Quincy needed a little open space amidst his piles of papers and tens of thousands of books. He was the original hoarder except he only hoarded the printed word.

I enjoyed Guilty Thing as a biography of De Quincy and as a colorful and delightful study of his world.

(What amazes me is that during this same time period Jane Austen was writing her comedies of manners, showing us the failings of Marianne's sensibility and Catherine's Gothic imaginings!)

I won this book from the publisher from a Goodreads Giveaway.

Guilty Thing: A Life of Thomas De Quincy
by Frances Wilson
Farrar Straus Giroux
ISBN: 978-0-374-16730-1
$30 hardcover; $9.99 ebook

Vintage Sheet Music: Nostalgia

Looking backward is part of the human condition, and we as we age we can feel that our best days are behind us. It is no wonder so many songs have been written about earlier times.

The Good Old Days usually referred to an idealized rural life.

On a Good Old Fashioned Straw Ride is a novelty song by Dave Reed and George Christie from 1912,  performed by the musical marriage team of Maud Lambert and Ernest R. Ball,  Apple jack and hugging and kissing seem to be the main attraction of the straw ride experience. Along with playing on folk's nostalgia, there is a hefty dose of stereotyping the lingo of rural folk and a surprising amount of gol'darn cuss words. 

Listen to it here.

Folks are congregatin' from a far and wide,
Everybod's waitin' for the old straw ride
Every one's excited, Every one's delighted,
Every fellow's got a lady by his side;
Look at all the farmers in their right red hose!
Gals a galivantin' in their Sunday clothes!
Beautiful night time, 
That is the right time,
Time to forget your woes;
We'll dance all night, till broad daylight,
And wake up the goldarn town:
I'll hop around the fiddle, like a chicken on a griddle,
Till they have to take a rope and tie me down!

Under the glimmer of a great big moonbeam rollin' a long,
While we're all sing' a song,
It's great to cuddle and kiss some fair little Miss;
Then back to the pumpkin and the squash, by gosh, we'll merrily glide,
If you ain't huggin' and kissin', there's somethin' you're missin',
on a good old time straw ride.

'Tildy, hurry up and don't you stop to fuss!
Howdy, Zaccaria! Is there room for us?
Who is that a crushin' What's the use of rushin'?
Hiram, quit your ticklin', yer a gosh darn cuss,
Pass around the apple jack agin', by heck!

Who is that a droppin' peanuts down my neck?
This is the game, boys, I'm glad I came boys,
Ain't gonter cost one speck;
Say look here, Zeke, why don't you speak?
And don't look so goldern black!
Well, I recon, Mister Smarty, I'm a bustin' up yer party,
But to tell the truth, I'm sittin' on a tack! (chorus)

***

1905 Beaux Arts Edition piano solo of Home Sweet Home

Many nostalgia songs are about missing home, the most famous of course being Home, Sweet Home. Songs were written about other 'homes' as well. Here is Susquehanna Home by Dave Ringle published in 1924. Listen to an instrumental Victor recording here. It is a surprisingly upbeat tune.

Why did I stray, wanter away

Fool I was to ever roam

Cows in the corn,mooin' at dawn,

call me back to my old home

Like all rollin' stones I'm blue my roamin' days are thru'

Susquehanna Home, Land of honeycomb,

Like the pine trees I am pinin'

Like an old stray dog I'm whinin'

Longing to sneak home under cover

To my gray haird pal I love her, 

Moon a shinin' high 

Can't you hear me cry,

Old shack layin' back on the hill

I'll be comin' back for a thrill

Susquehanna home.

Stars twinkle bright all thru' the night

O'er the fields of silv'ry dew

Clouds floatin' by sure make me sigh

soon I will be floatin' too

Back to those I long to see where my heart will always be. (chorus)

***

As the last song shows, nostalgia for home is basically missing Mom. There are numerous songs idealizing mothers. Here are a few.

Mother Dear by J. A. Pedersen and Ted. S. Barron, 1914, is one example.

The shadows are softly falling,
I sit and dream alone.
On fond mem'ry's ship I take a trip
ack to my dear old home.
Back to those happy childhood days,
The dearest days of all;
I long to be back there again
In those days beyond recall.

I long to nestle in your arms again, Mother dear,
For in my dream your sweet voice still I hear,
your face I seem to see,
I hear you calling me,
Back to dear old home sweet home and mother dear.

In memory I am longing 
To be a child once more, 
To roam once again 'mid scenes of youth,
With loved ones I adore.
My thoughts are all of mother dear,
Tho' I am far away,
My heart is filled with longing
Just to be back home some day. (chorus)

***

Another mother song, Mother of Mine, by George A. Little and J. D. Stanley, 1913, is one of many with the same title and the least well known. 

There is one that I'll love when the seas restless wave

Will not beat on the sandy shore,

There is one name I'll breath

When the Father who gave

Tells me that my life's work is o'er.

Mother of mine, mother of mine,

Seems that you're always beside me,

Your eyes divine ever will shine,

Through all my sorrow you guide me.

When on the day I pass away,

to that new land of sunshine,

Again on your breast I'll find sweet rest,

Mother, O, mother of mine!

When the light silver hair first grew into the gold,

And the smile sweet to see passed away,

When the light in her eyes

Father Time's story told

Then I knew all I lost that sad day. (chorus)

The lyrics recalling mother may seem saccharine to us today, and a stereotype of an idealized mother. Behind them lurks the sad reality of how short a woman's life was, how many lost their mothers early in life. Childbearing, disease, overwork taxed a woman's health. If one considers that the son's memories of his mother are from his childhood and that perhaps he lost her early in life, we see the song in a different light.

***

Mother was a standard by which all girls were measured. Men wanted to marry their mother. Or at least a gal who reminded him of dear old Mom.

Just As Your Mother Was by Andrew B. Sterling and by Harry Von Tilzer, 1917, is a good example of what men wanted in a wife...Well. Some men. Listen to it here.

Wedding bells are ringing,
Choir sweetly singing,
Soon the happy bride will ride away.
As she whispers “Good-bye, Daddy,”
To her father old and gray.
Tenderly he holds her;
Tears are in his eyes.
“Listen, child,” he whispers fond and low.
“Your mother was an angel,
and you’re an angel, too,
For you look just like your mother, long ago.

You’ve got the same eyes of blue,
You’ve got the same sweet smile, too,
And may the angels up above you
Watch and love you all life through.
You’ve got the same loving way,
And ev’ry night I’ll kneel and pray
That you’ll be through life,
a good true wife, dear,
Just as your mother was.”

“Just a simple story;
Love in all its glory—
Sun or storm your mother’s love was true.
But the angels came and took her
On the day they left me you.
Tenderly I watched you
Growing day by day;
Now the time to part is drawing near.
Remember that your mother
was steadfast, staunch, and true,
And I know you’ll always be like her, my dear.

***

The times were changing fast. But some were holding steadfastly to the old ways. 

I can't find anything on An Old Fashioned Girlie by James O'Dea and Sam S. Krams and Jack Von Tilzer from 1914! James O'Dea (1870-1914) married Lyricist and Songwriter Hall of Fame star Anne Caldwell in August 1904 and they had two children.

They wandered where this City meets the town,

The girl was dressed in simple gingham gown,

The boy who came to woo as sweethearts often do,

Gazed lovingly into the eyes of brown

"I don't see what you see in me," she said,

"Old fashioned as I am, and country bred."

The boy said with a smile,

"I like a girl of style 

But believe me, dear, I'd rather have instead,

An old fashioned girlie in an old-fashioned frock

An old fashioned candlelight a glow,

An old fashioned sofa and an old fashioned clock

That's just about a half hour slow.

And old fashioned courtship with a wedding feast and then

A joy to last our whole lives through,

That's an old fashioned heaven with a bunch of six or seven

Old fashioned kids like you.

The maiden blushed and turned her head away,

She knew not what to do or what to say

The boy as you can guess,

with lover like caress, 

Said "dearest won't you name the wedding day,"

The birds were singing sweetly overhead,

The lily nodded to the roses red,

Two eyes with tears were wet,

To lips in kisses met

As once more the youthful lover fondly said, (chorus)

Ahab's Return: The Last Voyage by Jeffrey Ford

Ahab's back, looking for his wife and son.

Yes, that Ahab, the crazed captain who went down with the White Whale.

He miraculously survived and has finally made his way home. He turns up at the Gorgon's Mirror, a New York City tabloid newspaper, looking for Ishmael, the writer who killed Ahab off in his novelization of their adventures. Ishmael is gone but hack writer Harrow sees dollar signs behind Ahab's improbable story.

All Ahab wants now is to find his beautiful wife and teenage son.

Harrow gets his boss to fund the quest and he and Ahab go on an adventure into the heart of New York City's Five Points, encountering a drug cartel protected by juvenile addicts and the manticore, a mythological creature (pictured on the book cover). They are joined by Ahab's harpooner Madi, stylized as Daggoo by Ishmael, the staunch street urchin Marvis, and a patchwork-coat wearing female writer and opium-eater, Arabella.

Harrow is in over his head, plunged into a world of ghoulish murders perpetrated by Malbaster and attacked by his zombie-like creature Bartleby. Harrow admits that, in a gunfight, he is as "useless as Millard Fillmore." Luckily, he has the African Madi and the plucky women to protect him.

Ahab's Return by Jeffry Ford reminded me of Terry Pratchett's Dodger, a fun blend of fantasy and literary personages in a historical fantasy. And also Jasper Fforde's Thursday Next novels in which literary characters exist in an alternative world.

John Jacob Aster's opium shipping empire, a forgotten multi-racial and multi-cultural village torn down to make Central Park, the Know Nothing anti-immigrant nativist movement, all figure into the story.

The plot hinges on an interesting concept of fictioneers writing plotlines that become reality.

"I am a devotee of the works of Emerson and believe he's professing that the mind is a reailty engine--it creates reality or at least in some part it helps to create reality." Arabella in Ahab's Return

I enjoyed the novel as great escapist fun. I received a free book from the publisher through a LibraryThing giveaway.

Ahab's Return or, The Last Voyage
by Jeffrey Ford
William Morrow
ISBN: 9780062679000
ISBN 10: 0062679007

Jeffrey Ford is the author of the novels The Physiognomy, Memoranda, The Beyond, The Portrait of Mrs. Charbuque, the Edgar Award–winning The Girl in the Glass, The Cosmology of the Wider World, The Shadow Year, and The Twilight Pariah, and his collections include The Fantasy Writer’s Assistant, The Empire of Ice Cream, The Drowned Life, Crackpot Palace, and A Natural History of Hell. He lives near Columbus, Ohio, and teaches writing at Ohio Wesleyan University.

Frank & Al: FDR, Al Smith, and the Unlikely Alliance That Created the Modern Democratic Party

Common goals bring people together; alliances are made between unlikely people. Friendships are forged, but sometimes the friends become alienated, their relationships shifting with the loss or gain of political power.

Reading biographies on President Franklin D. Roosevelt I learned about Al Smith, the New York City politician who failed to gain the presidential nomination because of his Catholic Faith. I knew that FDR's 1928 presidential nomination speech for Al Smith marked FDR's political comeback after polio. I was curious to learn more about Al and requested the galley for Frank & Al by Terry Golway.

Right away I fell under Al's spell. He had charisma and personality and a commitment to helping the 'little man' with a progressive agenda. He knew the challenges they faced first-hand., for Al had to leave school and work in the Fulton Fish Market after the death of his father. His mother took a factory job. Tammany Hall promoted his political rise to Albany. Realizing how unprepared he was, Al committed to studying until he had a command of the issues and laws. He became a popular and beloved New York State governor.

FDR and Smith political handkerchiefs. From the collection of Nancy A. Bekofske

No one could have been more different from Al than FDR with his long family history of status and wealth. FDR was a Harvard man. He was also seen as a lightweight, but he supported Al all the way.

How these two men changed the Democratic party is the core of the book. The history of their friendship recalls Adams and Jefferson--allies turned foes who embrace reconciliation later in life.

I was actually thrilled while reading the narratives about the conventions! Al's Catholicism was a huge issue. The KKK came out in full force to wield its influence. The Democrats had to choose to condemn the KKK as an Anti-American terrorist group and risk splitting the party or water the platform down to condemning any secret society. The clan gathered in New Jersey to burn an effigy of Al Smith. Protestant preachers across Middle America turned Al into a Papal pawn and denounced his opposition to Prohibition.

Al Smith political handkerchief. From the collection of Nancy A. Bekofske

Al was hugely popular in the East and among city folk but could not win rural WASP America. After Hoover's failure to address the Depression, FDR was successful in his presidential bid...and the rest is history. Al, though, did not take his losses well and was critical of FDR's policies.

The Democratic party was transfigured by Al's agenda which was continued by FDR on the national level; the president admitted he was following the agenda set by Al many years ago in New York State. The two men had some form of reconciliation and worked together but the warm friendship was never regained.

FDR campaign handkerchief. From the collection of Nancy A. Bekofske

It always strikes me when I read history how human nature does not change. Al and Frank, or John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, politics power disrupts friendships. Xenophobia rears its ugly head again and again. Where once the Catholics were feared as puppets of the Pope, now we fear Muslims. Every history I read is relevant to the issues we face today.

Golway has written a wonderful book that brings these men and the times to life in a thrilling narrative history.

I received a free ebook from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.

Frank and Al: FDR, Al Smith, and the Unlikely Alliance That Created the Modern Democratic Party
by Terry Golway
St. Martin's Press
Publication Date 11 Sep 2018
PRICE: $29.99 (USD)
ISBN: 9781250089649

Sold on a Monday by Kristina McMorris

After reading an excerpt from Sold on a Monday by Kristina McMorris my interest was caught and I requested the ARC. First, there was the setting, 1931 Philadelphia. The main characters work for a Philadelphia newspaper. And most of all, that opening scene when Ellis Reed notices the sign "2 children for sale" next to young brothers.

With vivid descriptions and great characterization, the story takes readers into the harsh realities of the Depression, a time when a widowed and ailing mother is pushed to a desperate choice, hoping to provide for her children.

The story is a heart-breaker, with a touch of romance and a threat of prohibition era gangsters, and a whole lotta of reclamation for Ellis and Lily. I enjoyed this historical fiction read not only for its storytelling but also for its relevance to issues that we still face today: poverty, lack of affordable medical care, separation of families, human trafficking, mental illness, and journalistic standards.

McMorris was inspired by an actual 1948 photograph and the story of what happened to the children in the photo. Learn more about the book, read an interview with the author, and find a book club kit at the author's website here.

I received a free ebook from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.

from the publisher:
Philadelphia, 1931. A young, ambitious reporter named Ellis Reed photographs a pair of young siblings on the front porch of a farmhouse next to a sign: “2 children for sale.”

With the help of newspaper secretary Lily Palmer, Ellis writes an article to accompany the photo. Capturing the hardships of American families during the Great Depression, the feature story generates national attention and Ellis’s career skyrockets.

But the photograph also leads to consequences more devastating than ever imagined—and it will take jeopardizing everything Ellis and Lily value to unravel the mystery and set things right.

Inspired by an actual newspaper photo that stunned readers throughout the country, Sold on a Monday is a powerful novel of ambition, redemption, love, and family.

Sold on a Monday: A Novel
by Kristina McMorris
SOURCEBOOKS/Landmark
Pub Date 28 Aug 2018
ISBN 9781492663997
PRICE $15.99 (USD)

Further Reading:
In the story, Ellis learns about Breaker Boys work in the coal mines. To learn more, read Coal River by Ellen Marie Wiseman, reviewed here.

Vintage Sheet Music: Novelty, Nonsence, and Humor

A hundred years ago people loved a silly song, a song that made one laugh. Today I am sharing a selection novelty, nonsense, and humor sheet music.

No, No, Positively No by Chris Smith and Harry Brown was a 'great hit' in 1907, here performed by Thomas H. Cullen. Hear a 1927 recording here. 'Just say no' is good advice.

If there's such things as Jonahs, I must be one for fair

When good luck had been issued I guess I was nowhere there,

I went to see a hoodoo man to have my fortune told, 

He said, "no give me ten bills, and you'll find a pot of gold."

But I said, "no, no, no, oh, no positively no!

When I say no, no, no, oh, no,

then I mean that word to go

I use some judgment now and then,

I'd be a fool to give you ten,

So no, no, no, oh, no, emphatically no."

How well I can remember when I was but a child,

My mammy had some beehives in the back yard quite a while,

So brother Jim took me with him, one day to steal some hon',

Said sure, I like you, Jim, but I can't agree to let bees make pincushions out of me, (chorus)

Once Barnum Baily circus had come to town one day

A lion and a tiger got a fighting during the play,

Said I, "don't let them fight no more, you folks know right from wrong,

Then one said, "you go separate them, you look big and strong."  (chorus)

Some friends of mine had asked me to go with them to dine

A swell cafe we strolled in, I thought I'd have a scandalous time,

We'd all been drinking gin and beer and were full of fun and glee,

And when the waiter showered the check they all looked right at me (chorus)

***

Humor a hundred years ago was far from 'politically correct;' targets included women and immigrants and African Americans. 

The Preacher and the Bear by Joe Arizona published 1904 manages to be offensive to clergy and African Americans at once. Or at least African American clergy. And yet it was recorded over and over again, including by Andy Griffith and The New Christy Minstrels. Alan Lomax collected it in Kentucky. Listen to a 1908 Victor recording here.

 A preacher went out a-hunting;
‘Twas on one Sunday morn.
It was against his religion,
But he took his gun along.
He shot himself some very fine quail,
And one little measly hare,
And on his way returning home,
He met a grizzly bear.
The bear marched out in the middle of the road,
And he waltzed for the coon to see.
The coon got so excited that he climbed a ‘simmon tree.
The bear set down upon the ground,
And the coon climbed out on a limb.
He cast his eyes to the God in the skies,
And this is what he said to him:

Chorus: “Oh, Lordy, you delivered Daniel from the lion’s den.
Also delivered Jonah from the belly of the whale and then
Three Hebrew children from the fiery furnace,
The good books do declare.
Now, Lord, Lordy, Lord, if you can’t help me,
For sakes, don’t help that bear.”

This coon stayed up in that there tree,
And I think it was all night.
He says, “Oh, Lord, if you don’t help the bear,
You’re gonna see an awful fight.”
Just about that time the limb let go,
And the coon came tumbling down.
You should have seen him get his razor
Before he hit the ground.
He hit the ground a-cutting right and left,
And he put up a very game fight.
Just then that bear, he hugged this coon,
And he squeezed him a little too tight.
The coon, he lost his razor,
But the bear held out with a vim.
He cast his eyes to the God in the skies,
And this is what he said to him: (Chorus)

***

Dance crazes have been around for a long time, and the Shimmie was one of the early ones.

Everybody Shimmies Now by Joe Gold and Edmund J. Porray with lyrics by Eugene West was introduced by Sophie Ticker and her 5 Kings of Syncopation in 1918. Hear the All Star Trio Victor recording here. This Tin Pan Alley song made Mae West famous and the sheet music was also published with Mae on the cover.

Honey baby, won't you come and take a chance,
Sweet tootie, let us do it now
That nervous sort of movement like Saint Vitus dance,
Sweet Mama won't you show me how
That dance that I love best,
The dance the folks are doing with their chests.

'Cause everybody shimmies now
Everybody's learning how
Brother Bill, Sister Kate, Shive like jelly on a plate,
Shimmie dancing can't be beat.
Moves everything except your feet.
Feeble folks mighty old shake the shimmie and they shake it bold
Oh! Honey won't you show me how
'Cause everybody shimmies now.

Honey baby, can't you hear the jass [sic] band play,
Oh, dearie, I just can't keep still
That syncopated music make me feel so gay,
I just must sway against my will
Now babe, don't be afraid
Come on and to the dance that's up to date.
'Cause everybody shimmies now (chorus)

***

The Shimmie was scandalous and sexy. Ragtime was obviously the work of nefarious creatures.

The Ragtime Goblin Man by Andrew B. Sterling and Harry von Tilzer from 1911 was a virtual warning. Ragtime was out to take prisoners and there was no escape. Hear a Victor recording here.

A ragtime goblin man he comes around and softly hums a ragtime tune.
I know he followed me, he'll catch me sure, 
And then there'll be a ragtime swoon,
He's beside me, hide me, hide me, 
I can' feel his breath, Oh I'm scared to death,
He will take me, shake me, make me join his raggedy band.
That goblin man, that goblin man.

Look out for the goblin man, that ragtime goblin man,
Look out for the book in his hand, that great big book in his hand,
There he is, there he is, he is there,
see his eyes, see his eyes, see his eyes glare,
Mister bugaboo, if he catches you, he'll beat you, then he'll eat you,
Run, run, just as fast as you can from the ragtime goblin man.
Hide, hide, or he'll give you a ride, just hear him shout
Look out, look out, for the rag, rag, rag, ragtime goblin man.

That ragtime goblin man was mild, what was it drove him wild?
A ragtime tune, on dark nights just look out
He'll catch you if  you sing about a ragtime moon,
If he grabs you, grabs you, jabs you, you won't get away
Cause you'll have to stay, then he'll bring you, sting you, fling you
To his raggedy band, see, he, want to get me, that goblin man. (chorus)

***

Maggie!"Yes Ma'am" Come Right Up Stairs by Leslie Moore and Johnny Tucker dates to 1922 and was performed by Smith and Stritt in Vaudeville. Hear a 78 recording here.

There's a family right next door
Wakes us up at three or four
When the daughter comes home with her beau
First they stand outside and chin
After they tiptoe in and begin their spooning down below
Then when all is quiet in the hall, downstairs you hear her mother call

Maggie! (Yes, Ma'am?) Who's with you there?
Maggie! (Yes, Ma'am?) Stop that affair!
Why does it take you so long to say goodnight?
You know I've told you always, it's not safe to stand in hallways.

Maggie! (Yes, Ma'am?) Give him his hat. 
Maggie! (Yes, Ma'am?) Just leave him flat
I forgot what mother taught me, that is how your father caught me.
Maggie! (Yes, Ma'am?) Come right upstairs

Maggie doesn't care a bit what the neighbors think of it.
She declares that lovin' is no crime
Even tho' her sweetheart Dan was always a union man
Maggie has him working overtime
Now and then they lean against a bell
Then the whole darn house begins to yell

Maggie! (Yes, Ma'am?) Who's with you there?
Maggie! (Yes, Ma'am?) Stop that affair!
You'll wake the neighbors the way you carry on.
I'm gonna get a copper to chase that young finale-hopper.

Maggie! (Yes, Ma'am?) Give him his hat.
Maggie! (Yes, Ma'am?) Just leave him flat.
Give his face a darn good smacking if he starts to be wisecracking
Maggie! (Yes, Ma'am?) Come right upstairs.

***

One of Tin Pan Alley's greatest hits was the 1920 Oh By Jingo! was written by Lew Brown and Albert Von Tilzer. Listen to recordings here.

It appeared in Linger Longer Letty, sung by Charlotte Greenwood who created Letty as her alter ego. The song has been recorded by many artists over the years. Hugh Laurie sang it as Bertie Wooster in the Jeeves and Wooster television series.

The story is set in San Domingo and the lyrics note the lovers "both were collared" and that "the gang" insisted the fleeing lovers take one of them along.

In the land of San Domingo,
Lived a girl called Oh! by Jingo,
Ja da Ja da da da da da, ump-a, ump-a, ump-a, ump-a,
From the fields and from the marshes,
Came the old and young by Goshes,
Ja da Ja da da da da da da, ump-a, ump-a, ump-a, ump-a,
They all spoke with a diff’rent lingo,
But they all loved Oh by Jingo,
And ev’ry night they sang in the pale moonlight.

Oh! by Gee! by Gosh, by Gum, by Jove
Oh by Jingo, won’t you hear our love
We will build for you a hut
You will be our fav’rite nut
We’ll have a lot of little Oh by Gollies,
Then we’ll put them in the Follies
By Jingo said, By Gosh, By Gee
By Jiminy please don’t bother me
So they all went away singing
Oh by Gee, by Gosh by Gum, by Jove by Jingo,
by Gee, you’re the only girl for me.

Oh by Jingo had a lover,
He was always undercover,
Ta da da da da da da da, ump-a, ump-a, ump-a, ump-a,
Ev’ry night she used to meet him,
Oh how nice she used to treat him,
Ta da da da da da da da, ump-a, ump-a, ump-a, ump-a,
They eloped but they both were collared,
And the gang stood there and hollered,
Don’t raise a fuss, you’ve got to take one of us.
Chorus 

Oh! by Gee! by Gosh, by Gum, by Jove
Oh by Jingo, won't you hear our love
We will live out in a tent
Cheat the landlord of his rent
We'll have a lot of little Jiminy Crickets,
We can use them for meal tickets
By Jingo said, Now boys don't rave
I have put four husbands in the grave
So they all went away singing
Oh by Gee, by Gosh by Gum, by Jove, by Jingo,
By Gee, you're the only girl for me. 

Home they went with spirits wilted
On account of they were jilted
(All the By-Goshes, with hearts down to their galoshes!)
All winter long they brooded—that is, all but very few did
(They left to join a fan club for Lana Toyn-a.)
The rest wrote to Beatrice Fairfax
Got the how-to-make-him-care facts
So came the spring
They sailed once more to sing:
Oh by Gee, by Gosh, by Gum, by Jove
Oh by Jiminy you're the one we love
We will build for you a hut
You will be our favorite nut
Then we'll have a bunch of Oh-By-Gollies
And we'll put them all in the Follies
(Oh) By Gee, by Gosh, by . . . [improv segment]
By Jiminy you're the one for me! 

***

Good-night, Nurse is a Comic Song by Thomas J. Gray and W. Raymond Walker, 1922. Hear a Victor recording here.

Now Sam McKee was sick and he
Was taken to a hospital,
And there he met a swell Nurse Gal
And right away our Sam got gay
He soon forgot about his ills
Made love when she brought him pills,
Ev'ry night when she would go off duty
Sam would hollar out, "Come here, my Cutey,"

Good-night nurse! Tell the doctor I'm no better;
Good-night nurse! write my folks a letter
Say I need a rest and you fear I had better stay here a year,
Feel my pulse, hold my head a little longer,
How's my heart? Don't you think it's getting stronger?
Call me in the morning or I'll get worse!
Kiss your little patient, Good-night Nurse!

This tale they tell, How Sam got well
The day he left his cozy bed he met his old girl and was wen,
But married life, Sam and his wife,
Soon agreed to disagree, 
When he said "That nurse for me!"
Pots and pans his wife then started throwing
Sam'd back in the hospital a crowing (chorus)