How to Walk Away: Finding a Perfect Life When Perfection Fails You

My husband read How to Walk Away through BookishFirst and raved about it. Publisher's Weekly gave it a 'thumbs up, buy it' rating. I grabbed my hubby's ARC and dove in.

Katherine Center's novel begins with Margaret living the dream: she has the perfect boyfriend, Chip, and the perfect job lined up.

Except Chip isn't so perfect. He knows Margaret is terrified of flying when he decides to get his pilot's license. And he is positive he can cure her fear by proving his skill as a pilot. Chip cajoles Margaret into joining him on a surreptitious night flight before he passes his last test, intending to propose to her during the flight. Margaret gives in.

But perfect fiancee' Chip can't handle the plane during a gust of wind and the plane crashes.

Chip walks away with some scratches. Margaret is trapped in the plane, her legs pinned, the jet fuel burning.

I would call the novel a romance and women's fiction, a page-turning beach read, except for one little thing: the theme is really about overcoming life's challenges, rolling with the punches, and flourishing when you have lost everything.

For Margaret, it is her disability and scars and the realization that Chip can't commit to 'better or worse.' Margaret's estranged sister Kit shows up to be her cheerleader. Kit must hash out some unfinished business with their mother, which leads marital stress for their parents. Love blooms and is repressed and blooms and, well, there are happy endings for all.

I found Margaret to be a little too chipper and perky in light of her injuries, and her attraction to a new man in her life suspect. Because I would be depressed and mean and hating all men in her shoes. But that is the point: Kit finds research proving that we are happy or unhappy regardless of what life throws at us, according to who we are. If we have courage and spirit and attitude we make it through anything. The rest of us get drunk, like Chip, or depressed and suicidal, or mean and angry.

How do you walk away from a crushing defeat?

Read a sample from the book at https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250201553

How to Walk Away
Katherine Center
St. Martin's Press
ISBN: 9781250149060
Hardcover $26.99

Welcome to Our Sit and Stitch Group

When we retired and moved to Clawson almost four year ago one thing I was eager to do was to join the weekly quilt group which meets at the community center. On any Tuesday you might find a dozen to over 30 gals enjoying socialization, sewing, and sharing their projects.

Several ladies volunteer to take photographs of our projects which are sent out to all members, so snowbirds or others who can't be there every week get to see all the wonderful work being done.

Today I thought I would share some of the recent quilts made by this talented group.

Betty  is one of our most productive members! She is trying to use up her large stash of fabric. The back of her quilts are always interesting.

Last year Betty made this amazing quilt.

One of our newer members, Cheryl, has made quilts for all her nieces and nephews. She is working on some smaller projects now.

Joanne made this wall hanging for a gift. She forgot to give it. So, the question is...will she give it up?

Joanne also makes lots of BIG projects, like this colorful king size quilt!

Joyce created this family album of handprints for an annual gathering. It will be auctioned off and the high bidder takes it home until next year when it will be auctioned off again.

Karen's opus magnum has been a work of love for years. It is FINALLY finished and looks amazing.

 This week Kay brought a quilt from her closet to share. Too cute!

Theresa is passionate about creating. She makes more quilts in a year than most make in a lifetime! The quilt blocks were made by the woman who taught her to quilt. She put them into this setting and hand quilted it all winter.

 AND she put together a Michigan themed quilt top.

 And finished her Sue Spargo wool applique' which she has worked on for weeks.

Over the years I sometimes share the quilts in the library, which mostly come from this group. Last winter Linda had several quilts with real 'wow' factor. Like this Christmas houses one!

Linda loves to use preprinted panels, as in this wintery horse quilt.

 Another wonderful quilt from winter is and embroidered and pieced quilt featuring 'over the river and through the snow' by Sandy.

Judy makes a lot of lovely quilts, too like this one from last year.

 Everyone loved Verna's version of this gardening theme quilt.

 Another spring themed quilt is Linda's birdhouses.

Shirley's Redwork embroidery and pieced quilt from several years ago represented a lot of work.

Sunetra loves all kinds of needlework. She made several versions of this Fiona quilt block pattern.

Our newest member Sue is making her first quilt, a memory quilt for her husband. She used his shirts and is including mementos including badges, ribbons awards, and even a drawing he made.

 Anna's Church Dash is a beautiful example of a traditional quilt.

Alex is new to sewing but is doing wonderful projects such as her stuffed zebra.

Barb is a professional long arm quilter. She is showing her beautiful wool applique quilt top.

Cathy is a teacher but joins us during summer and her breaks.

 Verna shared her colorful houses quilt.

Lucy is working on a Millefilore quilt. 

This year Lucy had her quilt Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds at the American Quilt Society show in Paducah.

I haven't found photos from all the gals, these are just some samples. I am lucky to be a part of the group and to be inspired by them.

Mini-Reviews: Crime and Suspense Thrillers

What was I thinking when I put my name in to win a book titled Dead Bomb Bingo Ray?  First, the blurbs enticed me: "Hard-boiled, hilarious, and as serious as a straight razor. It has more good ideas, great jokes, and splendid writing on one age than most books have in a full chapter" --Tim Halliman; "Jeff Johnson writes with a poet's rhythm, a boxer's attitude, and an artist's sense of style and flair."-Norman Green; "A rare treat." -Publisher's Weekly.

Plus, it was set in Philadelphia. We lived in Philly for fifteen years. I love reading about Philly.

And it is a Forward Indies finalist and a Library Journal Pick.

So I put my name in and lo, soon the book with a grenade on the front cover and a gun on the back was at my doorstep.

I opened it with trepidation. What if there was graphic violence? Was I up to reading a crime novel, this Neo-Noir genre? I had read Chandler and Hammett. But this is 2018...

In short, I loved this book. It was so much fun. It had a clever, convoluted plot, great characters, and stylish writing. It is hard to admit that a killer for hire, with a poker face and criminals for friends ends up being likable. He is good to his kidnapped dog.

Ray fixes problems. He got his moniker in Detroit when he took up a bingo card and wrote "Dead Bomb" on it to warn someone what was coming up. His reputation is such that the mention of his name causes fear and trembling. Maybe some soiling of pants.

Ray's secretary Agnes was a drop-out, drop-acid hippie in the '70's but passes as a sweet, little, old lady. She can get philosophical, hates Woody Allen, and has a son, Cody, who, after trying to kill each other, Ray took up and mentors. Skuggy is Ray's Kensington right-hand-man--well, left-hand-man since his right arm has been useless since a bad combination of drugs nearly killed him when he was a kid.

I was familiar with all the Philly locales. When Ray considers the particular smell of SEPTA, the acrid stench I too well remember even thirty years later, or how from a high building the trash blended in with the snow--oh, Filthadelphia!-- I thought, he was spot on.

Like Kensington where Ray's partner in crime lives. We lived there in 1979-80, back when it was a white working-class neighborhood. In those days the unemployed youth hung under the corner street lamps, smoking, and watching out for the 'hood. There was a bar on every corner. The sidewalks sparkled with broken glass. The empty factories were playgrounds.

"This is Philly for goodness' sake. Every other monster on Market Street would pull a pistol for twenty bucks. Kensington even less."

Ray takes his girl for a winter picnic at Clark Park in West Philly (home of the world's one and only Charles Dickens statue). They sit on the very bench where he once offed a man. (That's cold.) He hangs at 30th Street Station, where I often picked my hubby up from his travels, and the Reading Terminal Market, where we used to shop, and the posh Rittenhouse Square area where my hubby worked for five years. Ray goes to East Lansdowne, not far from where we lived in Darby.

The one point of contention I have is the romantic moment when Ray is with Abigail considers the stars at night. No way. I don't recall seeing stars, ever, in Philly.

The plot goes something like this: Three years previous, Ray burned a hedge fund manager who had stolen the money of retirees. The guy wants revenge and plans to set Ray up to take the fall for his newest scam. Meantime, Ray has met the girl of his dreams, the smart and beautiful physicist Abigail. She falls head over heels in love with Ray. As Ray unravels the Russian Doll plot of double-crossing double-crossers, he needs to protect her from them and from the truth of who he is. (She thinks he is scouting locations.)

Bombs go off, people are killed in various ways or given up to be tortured, Ray picks up seafood and cooks for Abigail, and when he isn't sleeping with Abigail, Ray sleeps under his dining room table and the weapons he has stashed on the underside of the table. With his dog.

In the end, Ray has a big decision to make when Abigail invites him to follow her to L.A.

All that violence, and yet the novel reads like a joy ride on a roller coaster. Johnson doesn't glory in gore or over detailed sexual contact.

In the end, I was very happy I won Dead Bomb Bingo Ray from Turner Publishing.

*****

Bring Me Back by B. A. Paris is a quick breeze of a read with enough suspense to keep pages turning.

The story is told by Finn and his missing girlfriend of twelve years previous, the mysterious and troubled Layla. Finn has moved on and is engaged to Layla's grounded and stable sister, Ellen.

But of course, everyone has a secret and no one is reliable.

Strange occurrences make it appear that Layla is back and Finn slowly gets sucked into paranoia and doubt about who he loves. Layla communicates by email and through leaving tokens. Finn tries to logic it all out on his own--is Layla back or is someone setting him up? Then turns to his ex and his best friend, who are not above suspicion. Ellen senses he is retreating from her, but he does not share what has been happening with her or the cop who had investigated Layla's disappearance.

I had a hunch of the truth in part two, and was nearly dead-on. The ending came quickly and was lackluster.

I felt there was less substance in Bring Me Back compared to the author's earlier novels. Still, for those who want a quick summer read, beach or cabin, this could do the trick.

I received an ARC from St. Martin's Press.

Publication June 2018.

*****

Thistle Publishing reached out to me with widgets for Jack Was Here by Christopher Bardsley. I downloaded the book and forgot about it for a week. Until a thunderstorm caused a power outage in the middle of the night.

I reported the outage to the power company and, knowing I would not get back to sleep for a while, opened Kindle and saw Jack Was Here on my downloaded books. Why not give it a look, I thought. 

Bad idea. My attention was caught right off by the main character, Hugh, an Australian Marine whose time in Afghanistan has left him wounded body and soul. He has just about hit rock bottom, with alcohol as his favorite coping device. I did get back to sleep but finished the book before noon the next day.

Hugh's brother forces him out of his catastrophe of an apartment with a challenge: family friends want to hire him to find their son Jack, missing in Thailand. Hugh has been to Thailand and they hope he can aid the hired detective in finding their son. The Thai police have been useless; besides, there are sixty-eight other missing Australians.

Jack was a smart, underachieving kid who was using drugs. His folks thought a trip abroad would be good for him. He took off for Bangkok. It's been six weeks since they heard from him.

Jack's parents offer Huh ten thousand dollars to find Jack, with five hundred a week expenses, and fifteen thousand if he brings Jack home.

"Thailand had been playing on my thoughts over the last few months. It was a mecca for losers like me, a warm climate to piss away your troubles. (...)I didn't expect that finding Jack would be all that difficult." Jack was Here

Hugh accepts the offer. It was, he thought, the "best possible thing that could have happened to me at that point. It was a bit of direction in my life."

As Hugh follows the paper trail of phone and banking records, readers get a deep look into the seamy side of Thailand, the prostitution and party life that attracts kids and middle-aged office workers looking for unbridled freedom from the drudge of their lives. And into the criminal organizations that run drugs from Cambodia through Thailand, and the police corruption that benefits with colluding with the criminals.

Getting Jack involves some pretty ugly things, including murder. But Hugh is determined to save one young man, an expiation for surviving what his fellow soldiers did not. 

I liked how Bardsley allowed Hugh to be the damaged person he is. I can't say readers will 'like' him and all his choices but we understand his struggle and pain. 

A Bigger Table: Building Messy, Authentic, and Hopeful Spiritual Community

"A Bigger Table: Building Messy, Authentic, Hopeful Spiritual Community asks if organized Christianity can find a new way of faithfully continuing the work Jesus began two thousand years ago, where everyone gets a seat." from the publisher

Today I saw a Facebook discussion on a meme that stated if your theology does not teach you to love more, you have the wrong theology. A person queried what 'love' is, noting it isn't 'comforting people in their sin,' and went on to justify the judgment of sinners. Comments were bandied back and forth, justifying this and that, until someone said, "why don't we just do it"--just love more.

As our society has become divided, so have our churches. We not only don't talk to each other, we don't even want to be associated with each other.

I may not talk about it directly, but my experience shows up now and then in my reviews. I am talking about my 38 years as a minister's wife. My husband served twelve churches between 1972 and 2014, in the inner city and the suburbs and in small towns and resort towns.

The nature of the church changed hugely during these years, and not for the better. As churches competed for a limited number of church-goers, the press was for more 'warm bodies,' flashier worship, and expanded facilities. Generational differences created hard feelings over worship styles, hymns, and projected order of worship over bulletins.

The worst experience we had was at a church that actually divided. Members who had come from another faith background decided the denomination's social principles were incompatible with their personal theology. They wrecked as much damage to the congregation and pastor as possible before leaving to start their own church.

I discovered John Pavlovitz when a Facebook friend shared his posts. I started reading his thoughts and found a kindred spirit. He wrote about how the contemporary Christian church had become politicized and was focused more on who was 'out' than on ministering to all our neighbors. He said it was alright if we have given up on organized religion.

Pavlovitz's book A Bigger Table is the story of his faith journey. And it is about hospitality, welcoming everyone to the feast, the people we are uncomfortable with, the people we don't always agree with, the people we have been told to avoid, and those condemned and cast into the outer darkness. By telling his story, Pavlovitz models spiritual growth. By telling stories of the people he met on his faith journey, he shows us that a bigger table may rock the boat, but better reflects the model of Jesus' life.

Pavlovitz's experience is not so different from mine. He grew up in a nice family. He was taught to avoid certain people. He went to art school in downtown Philadelphia and his experiences in the city, living among and working with a diversity of people, changed his life. As Philadelphia changed my life when we moved there in 1974. Like John, I found the experience was thrilling. I loved being around people who were different in their religion, ethnicity, and sexual orientation.

When Pavlovitz and his fiance wanted to be married, they found a United Methodist pastor who welcomed them. His spiritual life blossomed in that church and the pastor invited him to be a youth worker. I also loved working with youth myself! I loved their questioning, their openness, their desire to change the world.

Pavlovitz was called into ministry and he became involved with a megachurch until he was fired for not fitting in. He says it was the best thing to happen to him because he was freed from expectations. Pastors who want stability and a good salary don't rock the boat. But to follow Jesus, we will rock the boat.

He was "emancipated from organized American Christianity" and freed to follow Jesus' example of hospitality and inclusion, of listening to people instead of pontificating, of acceptance and not judgment.

Redemptive community, Pavlovitz writes, "means we endure the tension of creating peace for another while experiencing discomfort ourselves."

I thought about a church whose sanctuary redecoration came to a grinding halt because the older folk wanted a "comfortable" bland space while the younger folk--who were doing the work--had presented a carefully considered decorating scheme in more vivid colors. It is just a small example of decisions made every day to protect our comfort over supporting visions for change.

Pavlovitz writes, "In fact, most of us who have experienced some disconnection with organized religion would name this as one of our core frustrations: we see Christians making little difference in the world, or making a difference that feels more like harm."

We need to throw over results-based Christianity with the secular goals we have been embracing, Pavlovitz says, to concentrate on building community and supporting authenticity and staying in for the long haul.

Today, all around Metro Detroit churches are adopting radical hospitality, becoming reconciling churches to welcome LGBT, providing sanctuary for immigrants targeted by ICE, supporting the Muslim community, building tiny homes or providing free meals or hosting the homeless and food banks.

It gives me hope.

I received an ebook from the publisher through Edelweiss in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.

A Bigger Table: Building Messy, Authentic, and Hopeful Spiritual Community
by John Pavlovitz
Westminster John Knox Press
ISBN 9780664262679, 0664262678
Paperback |  188 pages
$16.00 USD

Southernmost

At university, I took a course in religion with a professor who was ordained and had studied under Karl Barth. He told me that students come into his class with a naive belief and what he taught shook them for they had never viewed their faith community and beliefs from the 'outside'. And, the professor continued, perhaps they will later return to their church and reaffirm it, this time with a deeper kind of faith.

But letting go of what one is taught, the beliefs held by one's community is rare and hard. I watched church leaders endeavor to destroy a church over their perceptions of the denomination's Social Principles as approving sin. It is more common for people to destroy what they fear than to change what they believe. 

"None of us can know the mind of God. He's too big for that." Rev. Asher in Southernmost

I was drawn to read Southernmost by Silas House because it is about an Evangelical pastor who realizes that his narrow understanding of what God requires has created hate and bigotry, casting some into the outer darkness, and thus impairing his own soul.

When a flood leaves a gay couple homeless, Asher invites them into his house, a holy hospitality which his wife cannot tolerate. Asher has felt guilt over participating in his family's and community's condemnation of his brother Luke when he came out as gay.  When the gay couple comes to worship, Asher tries to lead his flock and his family to an understanding of love and hospitality, but they are recalcitrant. He can only move on, leaving his church and his wife.

Asher's wife Lydia keeps their son hostage, insistent that only she can raise him in the right values now that Asher has 'gone crazy'. In fact, she has been so fearful that gayness runs in the family, she rejects her son's sensitivity and non-violence. Unable to bear separation from his son, Asher rashly kidnaps him, then travels south to the Florida Keys to find his estranged brother. It is time to make amends for his sins.

Asher buys a moment in time alone with his son but knows it can't be sustained. He has to return his son home and face the consequences, hoping his wife will be merciful and not vengeful.

The pacing of the novel is like a symphony that starts with an Allegro and immediate action, then settling into a slower Adagio before rising to a fast-moving Scherzo, and finally, resolves in the manner of Tchaikovsky with a slower, more internalized, final movement.

I was interested by the characters' grappling with what God requires of us.

And what does the Lord require of you except to be just, and to love  kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8

"Hebrews says to entertain strangers," Asher tells Lydia. "Love the sinner, hate the sin," she responds. "You've gotten belief confused with judgment," Asher responds; "They are our neighbors."

Lydia holds steadfast to what she had been taught, resisting a changing world that tells her what she knows is wrong is now normal. She believes keeping Justin from Asher is a battle for her son's soul.

Asher has come to doubt everything he grew up accepting; "I have been on the road to Damascus," he thinks. His eyes have been opened. Paul had persecuted the Christians, and struck blind on the Damascus road saw the truth and converted to Christianity. Asher's rejection of gays, including his own brother, was blindness. "You can use the Word to judge and condemn people or you can use it to love them." Judging his brother became the seed of doubt in his faith.

Justin has his own faith, a sensitivity for the divine, seeing God in the Everything. Forgiveness is the easiest thing in the world, he believes. Forgetting is the hard part. Justin sees the greater truths and offers us a faith that transcends human institutions.

I received a free ebook from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.


Southernmost
by Silas House
Algonquin Books
Pub Date 05 Jun 2018
ISBN 9781616206253
PRICE $26.95 (USD)

Final note: Luke tells Asher that he spend time in Grand Haven, Michigan, "in winter the most lonesome place I've seen." Amen! We spent one winter in an even smaller Lake Michigan resort town up the coast from Grand Haven. In winter the businesses closed--except for the bars and a small grocery store that was half open. The houses around us were empty, summer homes. You could walk down the middle of the streets. It was one lonesome place.

The Wreckage of Eden by Norman Lock

War--The War with Mexico, the Mormon Rebellion, and the Civil War-- crushed any remaining faith held by U. S. Army Chaplin Robert Winter.

He clings to the memories of the few meetings he had with Emily Dickinson, his first love, although she has always kept him at a distance. When Winter married a pleasant but common girl he loved her in a way. When she dies, Winter relinquishes their daughter's care to his maiden aunt who lives in Amherst, calling on the Dickinson family to befriend her. He makes a poor father, the army sending him across the country and far from Amherst.

Winter does his duty to his country, reciting prayers for the benefit of the dying and over the bodies of the dead who died for the sacred cause of Manifest Destiny, mouthing words to a God he no longer believes in.

The Wreckage of Eden by Norman Lock spans decades of the 19th c and the awful carnage deemed necessary to America's destiny. Along his journey, Winter befriends Abe and Mary Lincoln in Springfield and meets a young Sam Clemens in Missouri. He sees the horror of war and the death camp at Andersonville. Required to visit imprisoned John Brown, their conversation challenges Winter's core beliefs.

Lock reproduces the era with period details and references to writers, politicians and military leaders, but it is Winter's internal world that captured my attention. Winter's spiritual crisis reflects the country's loss of idealism and its corruption, justifying slaughter while annexing Mexican lands. murdering Mormons and Native Americans, and profiting from the labor of enslaved people.

Meanwhile, in Amherst, Emily battles her own war against her dictatorial father who insists she can never marry. She speaks to Winter in cadences right from her poetry, with imagery and 'slant' insight.

Winter learns that he must perform his pastoral duty and endure. Sometimes that is all we can do. Our youthful idealism crumbles under the burgeoning knowledge of the evil men commit, we lose faith and mouth the words expected of us--prayers or pledges become empty symbols.

I wanted to note an epigram or sentence or insight on nearly every page. The issues Winter struggles with demonstrate that the roots of America's problems were planted in our early years.

I am eager to read more books in the American Novel Series by Norman Lock.

I received a free ARC from the publisher through a LibraryThing giveaway.

Find a Reading Group Guide at
http://blpress.org/reading-group-guides/reading-group-guide-wreckage-eden/

The Wreckage of Eden
by Norman Lock
Bellevue Literary Press
Publication Date: June 5, 2018
ISBN-10: 1942658389
ISBN-13: 978-1942658382

The Assassination of Robert F. Kennedy: Crime, Conspiracy, and Cover Up

The spring of my sophomore year of high school found me falling into a depression that lasted several months. Personal and family problems were behind most of it, with national events weighing down with extra pressure as we saw the deaths of the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Robert F. Kennedy.

1968 was such a bad year, I avoided thinking about it for decades; I have tried to understand it for decades more.

In those days, my dad would wake me up before he left for work at Chrysler in Highland Park, MI. I turned on my radio while dressing for school. That June 5 I learned that Robert F. Kennedy had been shot. It caught me unawares, a gut-punch that left me breathless.

I had a two-mile walk to high school. Then I ran to my friend's locker to find her devastated. Her parents didn't understand her grief, she said. I wrote in my diary that I silently prayed, "Don't let him die."

Looking back, it seems that with RFK's death the dream of a just society died, too.

(Alright, I have read biographies and I know that Bobby was no one's idea of perfection. But he did have an awakening and envisioned a better America for everyone.)

We watched the news. We saw how Sirhan Sirhan stood in front of Bobby and shot him and knew that Bobby died. Sirhan went to prison.

End of story.

Apparently, this story's end was manipulated for easy answers and for fifty years people have been searching for answers that better fit the evidence. Beginning with the fact that Sirhan was in front of RFK by several feet but RFK died from a bullet that struck him in the back of the head.

Oh, and it seems that Sirhan's gun held eight bullets but thirteen may have been fired.

Investigative journalists Tim Tate and Brad Johnson's book The Assassination of Robert F. Kennedy presents an entire history of investigations into Bobby's death, drawing on 100,000 official documents and 25 years of forensic work.

I am not easily drawn to conspiracy theories. All kinds have been made over the years. Was Sirhan hypnotized? Did the government brainwash him? Were a girl in a polka dot dress and a man in a gold sweater involved? Did the police destroy evidence to hide something? Where witnesses harassed or ignored? It is all very interesting but I am not placing bets on any of them.

What seems possible is that the LAPD had decided that Sirhan had the gun and they ignored evidence and testimony and gaps that did not fit into their story.

Reading Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson and The Shine Will Shine by Ray Hinton and I Can't Breathe by Matt Taibbi proves that the police do make decisions and manipulate evidence to be consistent with what they believe. It is very possible the LAPD did that fifty years ago.

Paul Schrade was behind Kennedy and was also shot. He believes there was a second gunman. He went to Sirhan and told him he believed he was innocent. "You were never behind Bob, nor was Bob's back ever exposed to you," Schrade told Sirhan.

We will never know the truth of Bobby's murder. It is one more 'unsolved mystery' for us to ponder. What is the point? my husband asked; Bobby is still dead.

It was interesting to learn about fifty years of investigation regarding Bobby's death. My interest did not lag.

The Daily Mail is serializing the book.
View the trailer for the book at https://vimeo.com/272208961?ref=tw-share

I received a free ebook from the Thistle Publishing in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.