Summer, 1967

The summer after freshman year I took Algebra to 'catch up' with the other kids. Grandpa Ramer tutored me and I passed. I was the only kid in the class who hadn't flunked Algebra during the regular school year. In other words--The oddball. I had also wanted to go to summer school because I liked school. Being around other kids was fun.

Summer 1967

On the way to school one morning I found a $20 bill on the sidewalk near a park. I wanted to start a bank account. Instead, Mom took me shopping and I bought a Mod suit in a calico floral print. The money disappeared. Later, Mom and I had a fight. I wished I had started the savings account instead of spending the money. Although never talked about, in the back of my mind I wanted to go to college.

Like my 'MOD" suite but in a different print

That summer Pat invited me over to her house to swim in her built-in pool. I wore Mom's late 1950s Catalina swimsuit for lack of anything else. It had a built-in bra, boy pants, and was very modest. Soon Mom took me to buy a 'modern' one piece suit. I actually liked the 'vintage' suit but I am sure it made me look dorky. Pat would invite other girls and sometimes invited a boy she liked and his best friend to join us.

Me, summer 1967 at my Uncle Don Ramer's home

One evening Pat and I went on a bike ride and were out until 9:30 pm, making both our moms mad. I was feeling lost that summer; Pat didn't understand but then I didn't understand myself. There was something inside of me that wanted something, but I didn't know what. After I got home and got my lecture, I went into the back yard to watch the bats flying in the dusk until the stars came out.

This was the summer that Katie and Skip Marvin came from Tonawanda and Dad and Skip went to the Boundary Waters, which Dad wrote about here. Katie bought me a floppy brimmed hat to wear with my new trench coat. I stuck my brother's plastic water pistol in my pocket and pulled it out on people. I called it my 'spy guy' outfit.

When Dad and Skip returned from their fishing trip I wrote,

"You gonna go to Hurley? You ain't gonna go to Hurley? Ya gotta go to Hurley! So they went. Would you believe? 17 bars to a half block. And--er, um--prostitutes? Show girls?

"Yes, they're back. Gilford Van Marvin--Skip--and Dad. Katie and Skip leave Monday. I'll miss Katie. I remember her putting on her false eyelashes, the black hat, the shopping trips, the steak dinner. I'll miss Spooks [the Marvin dog]. Spooks jumped in the pool. Dad and Skip are all beard."

I never thought about Spooks name back then, but knowing he was a black and tan German Shepherd Now, I worry that it was a derogatory name.

My friend Lynne Martin and I went to summer dances at the ice rink near school and at the Farmer's Market in downtown Royal Oak. I was asked to dance but was too shy to even try. I'd learned the Cha Cha in elementary school, and my mom's cousins taught me the Twist when I was a kid. But I had no idea how to do these 'modern' dances and was too uptight to try. At the first dance, we saw Mogan David and the Grapes of Wrath, a local Detroit band.

At home, I listened to Mom's classical music record set. I especially liked Liszt's Les Preludes, the Eroica by Beethoven, the Mozart symphonies, and the Polovtsian Dances from Prince Igor. I bought 45s of I've Got Rhythm, Can't Take My Eyes Off of You, Twelve-Thirty, and Spyder Turner's cover of Stand By Me. Stand By Me by Ben E. King remains one of my all-time favorite songs. The older I get the more I appreciate it.

I read Desiree' by Annemarie Selinko about Napoleon's first love and Up the Down Staircase.

Gochenour family outing: Tom, Mom, Dad and Me. 

My family liked to go on picnics to local parks. In the photo above you can see my guitar case in the trunk of the car. My piano lessons had been replaced by guitar lessons. I strummed chords and sang folk songs like Leatherwing Bat, St James Infirmary, and Michael Row the Boat Ashore.

It was the summer of the riots, which broke out a few days before my 15th birthday.

Monday, July 24, 1967, at 6:30 am I wrote,

"Riot. Murder. Fire. Kill. Burn. It's madness. The whole city's center--fires reaching high in smoke-filled skies. Dad's going to work--Highland Park--it, too, is part of it all. I dread what may happen today. The army moved in. 5:30 Dad and his fellow workers left [work], just left, 'cause the bosses didn't say to go home--they were scared. The riot was so near. Tonight's supposed to be worse. There's a curfew here in Royal Oak and the adjacent counties. We've been listening to WACK all day. Some people have a poor opinion. Like the man from the grocery store, mom said he wished he could kill a couple-- At school, no one spoke about it. "Black Power" was written with black chalk on the board and a "White Power" to oppose it."

The next day I wrote,

"And it goes on. Dad went to work. Troops moved in. We--me and Pat B.--watched planes and helicopters [passing overhead] last night, heading toward Detroit. A kid was caught with a gun on Main St. My parents heard a gun shot. It's sounding over the radio--gunshot along with reporter's voices, citizens, and snipers. It's started in Toledo and Pontiac. The Federal troops landed at Selfridge in Mt. Clemens, moved to the Detroit fairgrounds. They were called in at midnight. 21 dead. Hundreds wounded, more are homeless. Thousands under arrest. Radio newscast--Maryland, New York, Toledo--where does it end? 7:30 and it continues. St. John's [Episcopal Church] had a thing going--collecting food and clothing to cart to Detroit. It's amazing how so many people think. I believe we are the only ones with a good head on our shoulders. I expect to see an ark being built. Too many people are ignorant. Tomorrow is Mom's birthday."

I wrote a letter to Nancy Ensminger, never sent:

"500 fires since Sunday. Rioting, looting, gunshots, 21 known dead. Possibly more in burned houses. People, an unnumbered unknown, homeless. Firemen couldn't fight some of the fires, they were being stoned and driven out. Stores looted and or burned. Negroes and whites aren't fighting each other. They're fighting Federal Guards, State Militias. This is the third day. How long can it last? When it's done--how to rebuild our 5th largest city? How to feed and house the homeless? Where to put the people under arrest? They've put them on buses for the lack of jails. "They" want them to be killed. Johnson blames local officials for the riot not being under control. It breaks out in Grand Rapids and Pontiac.

"We have trouble trying to call people. They may have to turn off the water pressure to fight the fires. Mom's been getting the neighbors mad at her! They say, some, "Why don't they just go down and kill them all off?" No pity. Do they know what they've been through, all their life, just because they are BLACK? The frustration they've felt all along. They can't have equality. They can't get good jobs. They are limited where they can go, live, work. The hate. They learn early-- They look at the whites--they can go anywhere, can get better jobs because of their color. It's gotta break out. And now their houses are gone. Their children are hungry, steal for food. And even before--for once they can go in and get anything free. I've been through the slums. Saw them. It looked like one of Mr. Ashely's civil rights films. Even when it ends, there are problems of the homeless, the ruins, getting things back to normal. Rebuilding Detroit."

My mother's indignation at the racial hatred of our neighbors impressed me. She made no compunction about how she felt.

In August Lynne asked me to go camping with her family for a long weekend. We went to White Cloud Island in the Georgian Bay, Canada. A group of Canadian choir boys was on the island. We exchanged address with the counselor, Chris. He later wrote me a letter. He said that going home "it was crowded with seven kids and the three older people plus all the sleeping bags."

Lynne and I met some local boys who invited us to go to another island by boat. We were gone hours, getting to the island, exploring it, and coming back. Lynn's folks were horrified they'd let us go. It was a stupid thing to do; we were lucky the boys were respectful.

Lynne and her father in an abandoned house

Lynne on White Cloud Island

After graduation Lynne and I both went to Adrian College. She left after our first year of college. Many years later when I was living in Montague, MI there was a horrible car accident on the expressway near us, resulting in the death of a woman. Years later I discovered that the woman who had died was Lynne. I was shocked and sad.

My Uncle Dave Ramer and his family came from Annapolis to visit. To end the summer my family vacationed at a neighbor's cottage. The Beaupied cabin was on Douglas Lake near the top of the Lower Peninsula in Michigan, close to the Straits of Mackinac. Two of the Beaupied kids came along, too.

It was a fun summer.

Dad and Pat Beaupied

The Beaupied cabin from the lake

Every morning the Algebra classroom blackboard had new messages written in chalk:

Love thy neighbor--even if it kills him

Algebra sickness pills--25 cents; test answers $5.

FREE TICKET.

It's not good for anything. It's just free.

EXIT Free flying lessons. Inquire on ledge.

DO NOT DISTURB. STUDENTS ASLEEP.

Glix on you

Do unto others before they do it to you.

God is not dead. He's merely unemployed.

EMERGENCY EXIT (sign on window)

Ray. Please come home. I.L.Y.

My 1963 Diary

For Christmas in 1962 I received a Girl Scout Diary with a key. During the last months spent in my childhood home in Tonawanda, NY, I wrote about my family and three-year-old brother; school; Nancy Ensminger and Janet L.; the death of Phil Ensminger, Nancy's father; Girl Scouts; piano lessons; reading Man O'War by Walter Farley and Marguerite Henry's Sea Star; snow storms and the ice jam at Niagara Falls; Dad's frozen toes; going to Sunday School at the Broad Street Baptist Church; and a lot of television. I added links to the actual television show I watched!

Tommy and me, 1963

One Year Diary

Property of

Nancy Adair Gochenour

1963

A Wonderful Diary, but now just wonderful things in it. I wish I had all of ’63 in it, then I wouldn’t have to count on my memory on remembering Buffalo, N. Y.

Nancy G.[later addition]

January 1

Today when I got up I watched TV with Tommy. Then we went outside. I baby sat Tommy while Mom, Dad and Grama went to a funeral. Nancy E.’s father died December 30, 1962. Then I played with Tommy until dinner. I was tired from staying up until 12:00 last night, so then I went to bed.

January 2

Today was the day we go back to school. I got up, dressed and ate breakfast. Then I watched TV until it was time to go. In school we went to gym then we had music. We did artih., spelling, and Cit. Ed. In Social Studies we started the unit about the Middle Atlantic States. Nancy E. didn’t come to school because she went to her father’s funeral. We had Girl Scouts today. We made our “crest.” It was a penguin. After dinner I listened to my Wonderful World of the Grimm Brothers record. Then I watched TV and went to bed.

Nancy Ensminger pics. I am in lower left photo on the left.

January 3

Today I went to school. In school today we had art, then Arth., Lunch, Cit. Ed., and Science. In Science we are starting a unit about geography. Nancy still couldn’t come to school. Tomorrow, she might. After I came home I did my Arith. homework and practiced.

We ate dinner and then went over to Kuhn’s. When we came home I fiddled on the piano until bedtime. Then when I was in bed I remembered I had spelling to study, I studied my spell. And went to bed.

Me and my brother at my piano

January 4

Today I had school again. We had gym. We also had a spelling test. We did Arith., Read., Science, Cit. Ed. Today. Nancy didn’t come to school today. After school Janet called. She wanted to play. got an American Girl Magazine today. Janet gave me a gold [autograph] dog for Christmas. It was a late gift though. After dinner we went to Skip [Marvin]and Katy’s house and Jerry’s house. Then we came home. Tommy and me went to bed. It was past 10:00.

Janet L. posing at my house near our Christmas tree. December 1962.

January 5

Today is Saturday. After watching TV I ate breakfast. I practiced and went to piano lessons. I then played with Nancy. After that I played with Janet until 3:00. Then I came home. Soon it was time for dinner. We ate dinner then I played with my Barbie and Ken dolls. I dried the dishes. After that Daddy and I looked at different things through my telescope. We then watched Saturday Night at the Movies. I like the movie a little. The movie lasted until 11:00. Then I went to bed.

January 6

Today was Sunday. I went to Sunday School. In worship service I said a prayer. When I came home I watched TV. Then I played with Janet. We played with my horses and dolls. I played with Janet until 5:00. Then I put my toys away and watched TV. Grandma went to the bowling alley across the street to get our dinner. After dinner I watched TV until 8:00 then I read in bed until 9:00.

January 7

I woke up and played laying in bed. Then I got up and I didn’t feel like going to school. But I got up and ate breakfast. I got ready for school. In school we did Arith., Spell., Reading. Then we went to lunch. After lunch we did Cit. Ed., and then the people went to religious instructions. After school I walked home with Nancy. After school I played in my room until dinner. After dinner Mommy told me that the TV was broken. Tommy and I played until bedtime. When I looked in my jewelry case I couldn’t find the key to my diary but at last I found it.

January 8

Today I walked to school with Nancy E. In school we did writing, Arith., Reading, Lunch, Spell., Science. We also had a story and game. After school I practiced and played with Tommy. Then we watched TV until dinnertime. After dinner I did my dishes then I did my homework. I forgot, after school I went to the library. I got Man O’ War and Sea Star After I did my homework I had an orange and watched TV. At a little past 9:00 I went to bed. Tommy was still eating his apple so he went to bed latter.

January 9

Today I walked to school with Nancy. We were a little late for school. First thing we had gym. In gym we are doing basketball. After gym we did Spell. then Arith., then we had lunch. After lunch we rested 5 mins. Then we had Social Studies. In S.S. we had a filmstrip. After school we had Girl Scouts until around 6:00. Then I came home and had dinner. After dinner I baby-sat Tommy and watched TV until 9:00. Mommy came home, but I watched The Beverly Hillbillies. Then I wrote a poem for school. In reading we have to write a poem. The poem is called,

The Bat

There was a bad

Who lived in a hat

And there he sat

And sat and sat.

One day he flew

Into the blue

And there he grew and grew.

And he grew old

And was Oh,

So cold, so cold.

So he flew back

To that hat

And there he sat

And sat and sat.

January 10

Today I went to school. I walked with Nancy. In school we did Arith., Spell., Reading. Then we had lunch. After lunch we had chorus for an hour. Then we had Cit. Ed. Then it was time to go home. I walked home with Nancy. Then I practiced and did homework until dinner. After dinner I watched Sea Hunt. Then I played with Tommy and made a Valentine for Nancy. Then I watched Dr. Kildare until 9:30.

In reading we read a story and while making Nancy’s Valentine I listened to my record The Wonderful World of the Brother’s Grimm.

January 11

Today was Friday. We had Arith., gym, spell., Lang, then we had lunch, Story, Cit. Ed. After school I practiced them played school until dinner. After dinner I played and watched TV. I watched SilentPlease, half of Flintstones, and 77 Sunset Strip. Then I went to bed. In gym we had basketball again. Also at lunch I got to talk with Nancy.

January 12

Today when I woke up I just laid in bed. But I did get up, ate breakfast. Them almost for the rest of the morning I watched TV. Then I made lunch for me and Tommy. After lunch I played with Nancy until 5:00. Then I played with Tommy, watched TV, and helped make dinner. Then at 6:00 we ate. After dinner I watched TV. Then I read books to Tommy. Then he went to bed. I watched TV for the rest of the day.

January 13

Today when I woke up I didn’t feel like going to Sunday School. I was tired. But I did go to Sunday School. After Sunday School, Aunt Alice drove me home. Then I got into some play clothes and watched TV. After I watched TV I called up Nancy to see if she could play. he could play. I went to her house. We played all afternoon. My mother called up and said she would pick me up and that we were going to eat dinner out. After dinner I watched Wonderful World of Disneyon TV. Before I watched TV I ate lunch.

January 14

This morning I got up and saw that there was snow all over. I got ready for school. On the radio it said that there was school. Then Uncle Skip [Skip Marvin] came and said that there was no school. So, I didn’t go to school. I ate breakfast and went outside. The snow was above your knees. Then after a while we came in and ate lunch. After lunch I played indoors for a while. Then I played with David [Ennis] until dinner. After dinner I watched TV, read, then I laid down and went to bed at 9:30.

January 15

Today there was school. The snow was deep. I walked with Nancy. In school first we did writing, Arith., Spell., lunch, Cit. Ed., and Science. Then it was time to go home. When I got home I played with Tommy until dinner. After dinner I washed the dishes, practiced. I took a bath. Then I played with Tommy again until bedtime.

January 16

Today I went to school. In school we had gym, Arith., Spell., lunch, Science and Cit. Ed. After school we had Girl Scouts. I was late because I washed the boards. In Girl Scouts we played games. I was walking with Nancy when Grandma came and picked us up. We dropped Nancy off and went home. After dinner I read books and watched the Beverly Hillbillies. Then I went to bed.

January 17

I got up, got dressed and ate breakfast and went to school. In school we had Arith., Science, Lunch, and Cit. Ed. After lunch we had chorus. Then it was time to come home. I had homework. I had to write as many uses of coal I could think of. I came home and played in my room until dinner. After dinner I practiced. Mommy, Tommy and Grandma went to Great Grandma’s [Greenwood] house. She also went shopping. I watched TV. After I practiced til 9:30. Then I went to bed.

January 18

Today I went to school like usual. We had Cit., Ed., gym, Science, Arith. After school I played with Janet until 5:00. Then I came home and watched TV until dinnertime. After dinner I watched TV until 11:00. I practiced before school.

January 19

Today was Saturday. I got up and watched TV. Soon it was time for lunch. After lunch it was time for piano lessons. Piano lessons lasted 2 hours. Then I played with Nancy until 5:00. We ate dinner and then I watched TV. After watching TV I did my projects. Then I watched the last half an hour of Saturday Night at the Movies. Then I went to bed.

The ice jam in the Gorge 1963

January 20

I woke up and just layed [sic] in bed. Tommy came in and layed [sic] in bed with me. Today I didn’t go to Sunday School. I watched TV, ate breakfast and got dressed. Then we ate lunch. After lunch we went to Niagara Falls. I saw the ice jam. Then we came home and ate dinner. We looked at pictures until 5:30. Then we went to Beverly’s [Ennis] birthday party. We had cake and ice cream. Then I copied my reports. Then I watched TV until 9:00. Then I went to bed.

Niagara Falls, January 1963

January 21

Today there was a snowstorm. We stayed in the kitchen all day because it was cold in the parlor.

January 23

For the last three days I stayed home from school. The second day (Jan. 22) we could go in the parlor. The first night we slept at Aunt Alice’s house on the couch. The couch could be made into a double bed. The second night I slept on the davenport at our house. Most of the time I played with Tommy or read. The third day I slept upstairs and I played with Janet. My father got 1 frozen toe on each foot.

January 24

Today I went to school. I had gym then arith., spell., science., cit. ed., and reading. When I came home I watched TV. Ate dinner and went to bed.

January 25

I got up and watched TV. Then practiced and ate lunch. Then I went to piano lessons. After piano lessons Nancy, her mother, Judy, and me went shopping for dresses for Nancy. I ate dinner at Nancy’s house. Then I came home and watched TV and went to bed.

January 26

Today I had eggs for breakfast. After breakfast I went skating with Aunt Alice from 12:00 til 4:30. Then when I came home we had dinner. Then I watched TV until 11:30.

January 30 Nancy E.’s Birthday

Lucky Nancy. She got a Blaze King, a scarf and handkerchief, and I don’t know what else. We had spaghetti for dinner. I ate at her house.

February 13

Miss Manos came today and she really surprised us. We had candy and of course plenty of Valentines.

March 17

Well of all things, it was beautiful this morning, but the rest of the day it rained.

March 19

Long time no see! Well I got mixed up back in January. I’ll tell you what I did. Miss Manos came on Valentines Day and St. Patrick’s Day. I didn’t do anything today, except the old routine. I am going to catch up. Bye!

My Brownie uniform. I don't have a pic of my Girl Scout uniform.

March 20

Today was Girl Scouts. We got something like $235.80 cookie money.

March 21

First day of spring. It snowed. Almost all day! We had art today. We had had a student art teacher for weeks. The art teacher had a bad leg and had to stay in a hospital. Well, bye! I have to clean my room. A man is going to look at the house.

Mrs. Sellers

*****

March 21, 1966

Three years ago I wrote that. Three years ago I was in Buffalo. I moved to 512 W. Houstonia. I came to Michigan to stay. I know how to write in a diary now. I’m 13. I was 10 then.

[Later, undated entry]

Silence all around me. Except the ringing in my ears.

12:00 midnight.

All in bed, except Mom.

I will now write.

Starting my greatest story.

Maybe.

(Later entry:

March 19--

? I know it couldn’t be the saucer—Atom? I can’t and don’t remember.
Someday--

*****

The man who was going to look at the house was Mr. Harper who bought the house and gas station from my family. I remember knowing we were to move, but I also know I had no idea the implication or reality of what it meant 'to move'. 

The last entries, added when I was still thirteen, refer to my first short story, The Saucer. It was about a space alien stranded on earth and assisted by children, very influenced by Star Girl by Harry Winterfield, a book read to my class in elementary school. My story was written and illustrated for a school assignment. My Eighth Grade teacher Mrs. Hayden was very supportive of my interest in writing. I had never felt so affirmed by a teacher before.

My Old House

It was my home, my community, my playground. The center of a secure world, the place that gave me roots. My first home, that when lost, was mourned over and recalled with vivid regret.

1865 Military Rd in 1965, from Rosemont Ave
Taken on a visit after we moved.

1865 Military Road in the 1940s. Those are Lilac bushes along the side.
The front porch was not yet enclosed.

My girlish dream was to grow up and buy the house back. Instead it was torn down. Lucille Kuhn took photos of its destruction. She said it resisted, its ancient frame still strong.

My Grandfather Lynne O. Ramer once wrote that the house dated to the 1830s and had "Indian arrows" embedded in the wood frame. I don't know who built the house and first owned it, but a 1915 Tonawanda map shows that H. Kuhn owned the land up to Maplewood except for a strip belonging to H. May, right across from what may be Ensminger Rd.

I have a visual memory and think in pictures before words. My memories are like looking at snap shots from my life.

I remember once going to the top of the attic stairs to watch Mom search for something stored there. I was not allowed to follow; Mom said the floors were not very strong. But I saw the light glaring in from the octagon window and wanted to look out it, sure I would see the Niagara River and Grand Island bridge. It was forbidden.

I hated going into the basement. The stone walls and dirt floor were lit by windows on the Rosemont side. On the other side was a storm cellar door, the kind I'd seen in movies like The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy's family goes into the cellar as the tornado is coming. But there were spiders and webs and dark corners and I knew there were rats in the house. Mostly I hated the spiders.

When I wanted to make Barbie clothes, Mom sent me down to find a box of fabric on a shelf. Instead I found a box of clothing. I didn't know if that was what she meant. Inside was a beautiful white blouse with white embroidery. I snipped a piece off. Somehow it would not turn into a Barbie dress. Later Mom retrieved the box, which were hand-me-downs from Patty and Lynda Greenwood, meant for me. She held the blouse up and wondered what had happened. I felt sick thinking of that beautiful blouse.

Mom and I at the front of our apartment. The steps were new, replacing
the long wood porch, and Mom's garden yet to come.

Each side of the yard had its own personality. The front yard was separated from the gas station by a white fence. In the spring Crocus popped up there, and later the Iris bloomed in a row. Mom had a small garden in front of our door with Portulaca that blossomed in the sun and daffodils in the spring.

The first photo I took with my Brownie camera
was of the crocus along the fence between
the house and the garage.

1965 photo of the front of the house from Military Rd
One more willow planted by my grandparents!

The side yard along Rosemont held lilac bushes grown large and dense. I would gather large bouquets in my arms, and smother my face in them to enjoy the perfume. I remember selling them along the road once. A man stopped and bought some. It was where Dad installed a swing set. The biggest Weeping Willow tree was also there, the tree that towered over Rosemont with its newly built houses.

Dad and I on the porch on Easter. I don't recall that oil tank.

The side of the house had an open, deep porch. I don't remember my family sitting on it. But I climbed over it, leaned over to grab the willow tree branches, and played fisherman dangling over a willow branch stripped of all its leaves save one at the end to be my catch. My brother learned to go up and down the step to the porch. We had a movie showing him going up and down again, intent and placid even when he fell.

Entrance to the smaller apartment in back.
Grandmother Gochenour with her daughter Mary and Mary's children,
and our Rosemont family friend Lou Randall

At the door to the smaller downstairs apartment where my grandparents was a Hollyhock bush. My grandmother showed me how to make a 'doll' out of the blossoms. And I remember there was a large horseradish plant that came up every spring.

Rosemont, the willow, and me

Then came the driveway with twin posts at its entrance; the photo above shows a dirt drive and no posts. My cousins and I would race up and down it. Below is a photo I took several years after we moved showing one of the posts. You can see the L shaped branch of the tree which I liked to climb.

1965 photo of 1865 Military Rd
Note the Texaco sign next door on Military Rd

At the end of the driveway were the garages with the 'rabbit coop' at the end. I didn't know that Dad has raised rabbits there as a teenager. And next to the 'coop' was a fenced in area where, Mom told me, the outhouse had once stood.

This photo of Janet L. shows the garages behind her. 1962.

Tom on the slide. Rosemont in background.

Tom near the swing set; the gas station in the background.

Snow hill in our front yard, behind the gas station
Aunt Alice Eniss and kids

The far side of the house parallel to Rosemont had a fence separating our yard from the shops next door: the Schwinn bicycle shop, the Texaco Station.

This photo of lil' me shows the side yard and fence
and behind where the Schwinn store would be built

And of course in front of the house along Military was the gas station built by my grandfather Gochenour, where my father worked.

The gas station in the 1940s

Our apartment consisted of a large farmhouse kitchen, a living room with an enclosed porch at the end, a bathroom on the first floor. The stairs went to a landing with a wall scone to light it, then turned, a few more steps leading to a hallway and the four bedrooms.

On the left was a small room with a large closet. You could see out the window to Ensminger Road and towards the river. Then came the largest bedroom at the corner. It was mine as a little girl, with gray wallpaper of black and white kittens playing with a ball of yarn. I was frightened by their eyes, black pupils on white, that glowed in the dark and needed my pink duck nightlight. There was a shelf along the wall on which sat my Little Golden Book collection. I read books by the nightlight when I was supposed to be asleep.

At the other end of the hallway were two bedrooms, parallel and equal, that I am sure were once one big room. They had folding doors. I was later moved into the bedroom parallel to Rosemont, with two windows looking at Rosemont through the willow branches. My bed looked was near the window that looked toward Rosemont from across our driveway. The windows were low enough to the floor that I could lay on my bed and look out to watch  the streetlights come on. In summer mesh screens were fitted in the window and I listened to the comfort of the Robin's evening song as I drifted off to sleep.

The bedroom next door was my Grandmother Gochenour's room. I sometimes went in to visit her. She had a huge collection of pennies and a cypress tree root.

When my brother was born his crib was in the smallest, first room, next door to the room that had been mine but now was my parent's. Mom lined the shelves with her books. I would pick them up and look into them. I was told the books were for 'adults', as if they were forbidden. Later I read some of them; they were mostly historical fiction books.

In Fifth Grade we had a homework assignment to make a plan of our house. I remember Dad helping me, teaching me some basic drafting rules. Sadly all my school papers were tossed when we moved so I do not have it.

Many years later I wrote a poem about the house.

 The View From Windows

by Nancy A. Bekofske

Rescue is out of the question,

going back not an option open to me.

Gone are those lofty trees like green umbrellas,

the purple flag of iris near the white rail fence,

the fragrant French lilacs, purple and white,

my world--my first world--and a life rooted

in a sense of place, no longer exists in space.

I remember the view from every window in every room.

Windows to the wider world.

I could see traffic on the burdened road;

the pushy hopefulness of yellow crocus in sooty snow.

From a doorway, looking across the room and out a window,

a water tower seen in a flat land, horizon's sentry.

From an upstairs window, I could see to the river,

the perpetual flame of the gas works,

the mangle of pipes and tanks.

Drying dishes, a glance to the left revealed a doorway,

pink hollyhock, a gigantic horseradish plant.

From my bed, looking across a gravel drive,

ironposted streetlights lit small box-like houses,

while from another open window I could hear the wind

playing in the branches of willows

(how they swayed like a girl's long hair in summer,

but in winter were plaited in clean ice).

These trees my touchstone;

I knew my house by its being next to the biggest tree,

I told others so, believing my own veracity.

At times, an airplane--no jet, not then-- droning

overhead would shake my world of make-believe to its roots

with reality's heavy awareness.

My heart would beat a faster tattoo, and restless,

disquieted, but directionless, I rushed outdoors

to breath freer air, escape the restraint of walls,

to seek the questions I already felt swelling

in my girl's breast, the mystery I could not name.

I only knew that I must shake off

girlhood's cushioned hermitage, to live and work,

now, suddenly aware of mortality's unaccustomed weight,

because I heard, and looked up from play,

to catch sight of a mystery outside my window,

common, yet profoundly unsettling.

Happy Birthday, Aunt Alice!

My father's sister Alice is having a milestone birthday today!

Alice as a girl. The Military Road house in the background.

I was four when Aunt Alice married Uncle Kenny. Dad took her down the aisle as Grandpa Gochenour  passed away the year before.

Dad and his sister Alice 

In 1935 my grandparents moved to Military Road; the house was so huge it held three apartments. Aunt Alice and Uncle Kenny moved into the upstairs apartment; my family moved from upstairs to the larger downstairs apartment--which Aunt Mary and Uncle Clyde and family moved out and into their own home. I was lonely with my three cousins left. Grandma Gochenour (known as 'Ma') lived in the smallest apartment before moving in with my family.

Soon enough I had a little brother and Aunt Alice had children. We played on the swing set and had a pool in the shade of the spreading willow tree. Then Aunt Alice and Uncle Kenny moved into their own home and my dad and mom packed up and we moved to Michigan.

One of my fondest memories of those early days was Christmas morning visits to all my cousin's houses. Because Aunt Alice lived upstairs, we would go up in our robes.

Mom, Me, Aunt Alice, and 'Ma' on Christmas Morning around 1958

Aunt Alice

Uncle Kenny, Aunt Alice, and Ma Christmas in late 1950s

Tonawanda winters meant snow and lots of it! Dad ran the gas station his father built and had a truck with a snow plow. We had lots of high banks of snow around the house to play on.

Aunt Alice, the gas station behind. 1963

There were parties, picnics, and fun. I always remembered a Halloween costume party at the house. Aunt Alice was Daisy Mae to Uncle Kenny's Lil' Abner!

1959 Halloween; Aunt Alice as Daisy Mae in Military Road kitchen

After we moved my family returned to Tonawanda every year to visit.

Aunt Alice in the 1960s

Aunt Alice and Uncle Ken in the 1970s

Aunt Alice reminds me of her mother: Easy going, optimistic, contented, and happy; crafty and capable; family-oriented with a uncomplicated faith in God. I am sorry I did not inherit more of those 'Becker' traits!

Aunt Alice, Aunt Mary and 'Ma'. Three lovely ladies!

Aunt Alice visiting Dad with her grandchildren

Aunt Alice is the Gochenour/Becker family historian and genealogist and I have learned much from her on visits.

Here's to a wonderful birthday, Aunt Alice, and prayers that you at least match your mother's long life!  

Aunt Alice, Uncle Kenny, and my cousins