Showing posts with label single mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label single mom. Show all posts

Friday, January 25, 2019

Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother's Will to Survive by Stephanie Land

"Poverty was like a stagnant pool of mud that pulled at our feet and refused to let go." from Maid by Stephanie Land

I'll be brutally honest, and you can "unfollow" me if you want, I don't care, but ever since Presidents Roosevelt and Johnson created social programs to help the poor there have been politicians determined to slash, limit, and end them. And one of their methods is to vilify the poor as blood-sucking, lazy, ignorant, "self-entitled" criminals who live off the hard earned tax dollars squeezed from hard-working, honest, salt-of-the-earth, red-blooded Americans.

I have known some of "those people," and yes, they sometimes made bad choices, but they also worked to improve their lives. Like my cousin who ran away at sixteen and returned, pregnant, without a high school degree. She was on welfare and food stamps. She also got a GED and learned to drive and found a job...which was eliminated by budget cuts. After floundering for some time, she found work again, and even love. Then died young of a horrible autoimmune disease.

Or the couple who worked abroad to teach English as a second language to pay off their school debts, then returned to America and could not find jobs. The wife returned to school for an advanced degree. She graduated after the economy tanked and still could not find work in her area. They relied on WIC when their child was born. They have lived in poverty their entire marriage, the woman working for ETS and online tutoring.

Stephanie Land had dreams, hoping some day to go to college. Her parents had split up, her mom's husband resentful and her dad broke because of the recession. She was self-supporting when she became pregnant. When she decided to keep her baby her boyfriend became abusive. She was driven to take her daughter and leave him. 

And so began her descent into the world of homelessness, poverty, the red-tape web of government programs. She worked as a maid, even though she suffered from a pinched nerve and back pain and allergies. The pay was miserable, her travel expenses uncovered. She found housing that was inadequate, unsafe, and unhealthy. Black mold kept her daughter perpetually sick with sinus and ear infections.

I know about that. Our infant son was ill most of the year with allergies, sinus infections, ad ear infections. It made him fussy and overactive and every time he was sick it made his development lag. We were lucky. We could address the environmental causes. We found a specialist who treated him throughout his childhood.

Maid is Stephanie Land's story of those years when she struggled to provide for her daughter. She documents how hard it is to obtain assistance and even the knowledge of what aid is available, the everlasting exhaustion of having to work full time, taking her daughter to and from daycare, and raise her child on a razor-thin budget. All while cleaning the large homes of strangers.

And that is the other side of the book, the people who hire help at less than minimum wage, some who show consideration and others who like her invisible. How a maid knows more about her clients than they can imagine. 

Land worked hard. Really hard. She had to. Finally, she was able to go to school and write this book. She crawled out of the mire. What is amazing is that anyone can escape poverty. You earn a few dollars more and you lose benefits. 

Land is an excellent writer. She created scenes that broke my heart, such as when her mother and her new husband come to help Land move. Her mom suggests they go out to lunch, then expects Land to pay for the meal. Land had $10 left until the end of the month. Even knowing this, they accepted it. Then, her mom's husband complained Land acted 'entitled'. I was so angry! I felt heartbroken that Land and her daughter were shown so little charity. 

I think about the Universal Basic Income idea that I have read about. How if Land received $1,000 a month she would have been able to provide her daughter with quality daycare or healthy housing. She would have been able to spend more time on her degree and work fewer weekends. She would have been off government assistance years sooner.

But that's not how the system works. Because we don't trust poor people to do the right thing. We don't trust them to want to have a better life. We don't believe they are willing to work hard--work at all.

Remember The Ghost of Christmas Present who shows Scrooge the children hiding under his robes, Ignorance and
Want? We have the power to end ignorance and want. We choose not to. Instead, we tell people to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, even when they are without shoes.

That's my rant. Yes, progressive liberal stuff. But also in the spirit of the Christ who told us that if we have two shirts, give one to the poor. The Christ who said not to judge other's faults and ignore your larger ones--judging being the larger one. The Christ who taught mercy to strangers. 

Perhaps Land's memoir will make people take a second look at mothers on assistance. Under the cinders is a princess striving to blossom. 

I received a free ebook from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.

Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother's Will to Survive
by Stephanie Land
Hachette Books
Pub Date 22 Jan 2019 
ISBN 9780316505116
PRICE $27.00 (USD)

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Multiple Listings by Tracy McMillian

Life is good for Nicki. She has an incredible job in real estate that supports her and her son Cody in a solid upper-middle class lifestyle. Her boyfriend Jake is young, handsome, daring, and attentive. She and Jake have started building a restaurant and have put money down on a beautiful new house.

Then Nicki's life unravels. It starts with her father Ronnie showing up at her door, newly released from prison and in need of a place to stay.

Ronnie and Nicki speak in alternate chapters, allowing the reader deep insight into their perceptions and emotional life. Ronnie must come to terms with his past and how it has affected his relationships. He really wants to be a better man. But it's hard when you know just how to read and manipulate people--especially women who find him irresistible. Nicki has her own baggage with a dad in prison and a disconnected mother turning tricks for drug money. She chooses the wrong men and does not understand her teenage son. What she has to learn is that Ronnie is just what she needs in her life.

Multiple Listings is relationship author and screenwriter Tracy McMillan's first novel. The characterization is great and the plot moves along quickly. Early on I thought I knew how it would end, and it did end that way, but there were interesting twists to keep up my interest. It can get preachy, especially with Ronnie wanting to use his hard-earned wisdom to save the world. But I bet a lot of women will find the lessons valuable and affirming. We want Ronnie to make it outside of prison and for Nicki to allow herself to trust again. Cody is pivotal, for he badly needs a man to understand him and Ronnie knows what he is thinking even before Cody knows what he is thinking.

How long before this book becomes a movie? I wouldn't be surprised.

I received a free ebook from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.

"Inspired by the author's life and imbued with wit and profound insight into relationships, Multiple Listings speaks poignantly--and often hilariously--about the ties that bind families of all types together."

Multiple Listings
by Tracy McMillan
Gallery Books
Publication March 8, 2016
$26.00 hard cover
ISBN: 9781476785523