You Can Take the Girl Out Of Tonawanda, But Can You Take Tonawanda Out Of the Girl?

In June, 1963 my family moved from Tonawanda to my grandparent's house in Royal Oak, Michigan. Everything had been packed the day before and we slept on the floor with only pillows and blankets in the empty living room. The movers loaded up our possessions and then we piled into our car for the six hour trip from Niagara Falls to Detroit, across the flat Ontario farmland we knew so well from many other trips.

Most of our possessions were stored in my grandparent's garage but I had my Barbie doll case with Barbie, Midge, and Ken and all their clothes. Next door to my grandparents lived Doug and Mary M. and their children Larry and Gail. Gail was a year younger than I. A few years previous when visiting my grandparents I had seen Gail's Barbie and I asked Mom for one. I never cared for baby dolls, but I loved dressing fashion dolls. Gail and her friends from down the street and I played dolls on Gail's front porch all summer.

My Ramer Grandparents at the left in their back yard, the
sleeping porch can be seen on the second story

My Grandparent's house on Gardenia

My grandparent's house had a second story, screened summer sleeping porch off the master bedroom. I was first put in a bedroom at the front of the house near the street. Gardenia was on a hill and traffic came down the hill too fast and too noisy; I could not sleep. So, a cot was put on the sleeping porch and it became my bedroom. I loved, loved, loved it.

Pepper in her later years

The porch overlooked the yard, dense with tall trees. Blue Jays and Fox squirrels played among the branches. It was great being reunited with my dog Pepper who had been living with my grandparents for several years. Pepper loved to chase the squirrels up a tree, and they would chatter down and tease her, just out of reach. The sunlight penetrated the tree leaves in shafts of light, dappling the ground below. I was listening to the radio and playing on the sleeping porch when I heard that the Bald Eagle was endangered. It was an awakening.

my grandfather's bookcase in my house

I did not have books to read so I looked over my grandfather's bookshelf. He had a Globe-Werneke barrister bookcase, bought while at college; I've had that bookcase since 1972. Some of the books I found there was an illustrated children's book of Hiawatha and Bambi and 101 Famous Poems, which I read so often that Gramps gave it to me. I wrote about it here.

Mom would give me a quarter and I would walk down Gardenia and cross Main Street to buy comic books from the drug store. Although other comics were cheaper, I always wanted a Classics Illustrated Comic Book. I read them over and over. My favorites included Lord Jim, Les Miserables, and Jane Eyre.

Mom would take me to Frenz and Sons hardware, also at Gardenia and Main, where I would buy Barbie clothes.  And when Mom and Grandma went to the Hollywood Market near downtown Royal Oak I could choose a toy, plastic sets of model dogs or knights and horses, or glittery, plastic high heels that always broke, or a coloring book. Once when pondering my choices a nice lady stopped to talk to me. She said I would grow up to be a very pretty girl. That stuck with me because usually, I heard I would be "so pretty if" I lost weight! It was a cherished affirmation.

That summer the entire family, three generations, watched Sing Along with Mitch Miller, and we did sing along. I watched local Detroit shows like George Pierrot's Presents, a travel show, and Twin Pine's Milky the Clown. I hated Soupy Sales. I saw the first Outer Limits show at my grandparent's house that fall.

When school started Mom drove me to Northwood Elementary school. My parents were buying a house near that school, but we did not move in until several weeks into the school year.

Life had been busy and fun and like an extended vacation. But with school, the implications of moving became harder.

Northwood Elementary school was built in 1923, unlike my brand new school in Tonawanda. (Northwood was pulled down in 2008 and a new complex built on the site.) There were staircases to climb to get to my classroom on the second floor. Large windows filled the classroom with light.

At r, cess the kids ran up and down the large playground's hill. They played 4-Square, a game I had never heard of before. The kids chalked a large square on the asphalt or cement, divided into four smaller squares. A kid was in each square, and they bounced a ball into a square and that kid had to bounce it into some other square.

My Sixth Grade Class at Northwood Elementary School

I was shy and introverted, unable to just join in. I preferred to watch the bumblebees gather pollen from the wildflowers along the fence.

I really liked my first male teacher, Mr. Raymond Saffronoff.  We had "New Math" and for the first time I actually did well in math. We learned about Michigan flora and fauna in preparation for a spring visit to Kensington Nature Park; on the trip I saw a Pileated Woodpecker!I worked on a report about birds.

I enjoyed music class where we learned folk songs from around the world. I would gaze at the piano, longing to play it. I missed playing the piano so much.

My Sixth Grade year was punctuated by events I never forgot: The Kennedy assassination and the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. The Beatles because I did not like their music, which seemed inane to me: I Wanna Hold Your Hand, Yeah Yeah Yeah. But all my classmates loved them, making me feel even more of an outsider.  But several years previous, after hearing Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Tiny Polkadot Bikini on the car radio when Janet L.'s sister Ruth drove us to Summer Camp at Herbert Hoover Jr High, I had promised my Grandmother Gochenour I would never like Rock and Roll. I meant to keep my word.

On Friday afternoon our class visited the school library. From its stacks of older books I took home children's classics like The Wind in the Willows, Peter Pan, and the Oz books. At Philip Sheridan the library was full of newly published books, now become classics. At Northwood I discovered the vintage classics.

On that Friday of November 22, 1963, Mr. Saffronoff and took us from the library back to our classroom. He said that the president had been shot and that we were to go home early.

It was a long, frightening walk home. I did not know if the Russians would take over our country because our leader was dead. I did not know if our parents could protect us. I had not felt this dread since the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Over the next days, the adults were all glued to the television set. On the day of President Kennedy's funeral my family gathered at my grandparent's house to watch it on TV. I saw young John salute his daddy and felt bad for little Caroline.

After we moved from my grandparent's home I still saw Gail but had not made new friends at Northwood or on Houstonia. I was growing more homesick all the time. Nancy Ensminger and I wrote letters, and I saw her and my cousins when we visited Tonawanda. But life was lonely and boring. I know I complained and Dad would suggest I go out and start up a baseball game. I thought he was crazy. I didn't know how to play baseball. We didn't have a ball or bat or glove. And I was too shy to start up anything.

I was too young to realize that my family were all dealing with homesickness and adjusting to their new lives, too. Grandma Gochenour missed her church friends, her lifelong friend Annie Hooverman, and her family. Mom's health was not good and Dad worked two jobs. Grandma finally decided to return to Tonawanda and live with Aunt Alice and Uncle Kenny.

My yellow bedroom

When we first moved into the Houstonia house Mom decorated a bedroom for me with yellow walls. I had a display case for my Beyer horse collection and a bookcase for my books. There was a walk-in closet with shelves where I stored my Classic Comic Books. The windows faced the east, and on summer mornings the sunlight streamed in. Grandma Gochenour and my little brother Tom had first floor bedrooms and my folks were in the other upstairs bedroom.

My Aunt Nancy and Uncle Joe lived in Lincoln Park and my cousin Sue was just a few years younger than me. So I did have one cousin nearby to play with.

Showing my cousin Sue my 1963 Christmas Presents

After Grandma Gochenour moved back to Tonawanda my brother could not be alone on the first floor, so he was moved into my bedroom and I was moved into the small, first floor bedroom. It was near the back of the house. The window faced the pear tree in the back yard. When it rained the gutter clattered and kept me awake. I had a transistor radio and would listen to it in bed in the dark, amazed to hear stations from all over the country.

Summer came. I had no friends to play with, there were no kids gathering for games of Mother-May-I or Red Light, Green Light, nothing to do. I discovered classic movies on Bill Kennedy's Showtime.

I had always loved television, but these old movies became my passion. Jimmy Stewart in Harvey and It's a Wonderful Life; Blood and Sand and The Sun Also Rises with Tyrone Power; Gregory Peck in The Snows of Kilimanjaro; Errol Flynn in Captain Blood! I didn't understand what was going on between 'men and women' but I loved the action scenes and the funny parts.

*****

At the end of the school year a mimeographed booklet was published by the student council. It included jokes, class prophecies, and such. My copy is faded and I transcribed it a few years back.

Highlights of 1963-1964 were listed as:

• Governor Romney is the governor of Michigan.
• President Johnson is fast becoming popular
• R. Nixon-B. Goldwater are the chief candidates for president (Republican)
• New York has a World's Fair this year
• Our class helped plant trees on the playground
• We had a big awards assembly out on the playground
• In November we collected 75 bundles for Bundle Days
• Alaska was shaken by a huge earthquake on March 27, 1964 (Good Friday)
• We collected 64 dollars for the United Foundation
• On Mary 25, 1964 we had an assembly honoring Michigan Week
• Another terrible tornado hit the Anchor Bay area in May 1964
• For Arbor Day '64; we planted ten trees, one of which is the Red Maple from Mrs. White.
• We had an assembly on May 17, 1964 honoring the Student Council, Audio Visual Club, Squad Patrols, and the Service Squad. Band and Stings played at the Assembly.
• We collected many, many cans for food for the needy over Thanksgiving last November.

The class will said I would leave my horse books to another girl in the class, and my prophecy was to become "an olive stuffer", which I found offensive. I figured it either meant I was too stupid to do anything else or that I would be stuffing the olives into my mouth to eat!

My Sixth Grade class did not all go to the same junior high school. Many in the booklet I came to know later in high school. It was just a one year stop on the way for me.

*****

1964 was the year of the elephant jokes.

How do you get an elephant out of a bowl of custard?
Read the directions on the back of the package.

What's big, gray, and lumpy?
Elephant Tapioca.

What was the elephant doing on the highway?
Oh, about 84 miles per hour.

Why do elephants lay on their backs in the water and stick their feet in the air?
So you can tell them from a bar of soap.

What happens when an elephant steps on some grapes?
It lets out a little wine.

What's gray and has a trunk?
An elephant leaving town.

When an elephant sits on your fence what time is it?
Time to get a new fence.

Old Lady: Must I stick the stamp on myself?
Post Office Employee: No, stick it on the envelope.

Patient: Every time I drink a cup of coffee I get a sharp pain in my eye. What should I do?
Doctor: Just take the spoon out of the cup.

Policeman: You are under arrest for speeding.
Motorist: I wasn't speeding but I passed a couple of fellow who were.

First Dragon: Am I late for supper?
Second Dragon: Yes, everyone's eaten.

What's giant, purple, and lives in the sea?
Moby Plum

What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams

What is green and flies in the sky?
Super Pickle

Why does a traffic light turn red?
You'd turn red too if you had to change in front of all those people.

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Eugene Gochenour's Memoirs: 1963: Test Driving Chrysler Cars

Dad's memoir recalls his early days working at Chrysler in Highland Park. Here he talks about test driving new and modified cars, including the protoype Barracuda with a V-8 engine.

Dad and Mom around 1969. Yes, I had an Avocado green piano!

 My sister Alice and her husband Ken came to visit us during the summer and while they were there we got to talking about an interview I just had at Chrysler. I had previously been hired, but that job fell through because one of their existing workers was transferred to that lab. This time I was quite discouraged, though, because while they said they would hire me the starting salary was only $98 a week. But Joyce and Alice and Ken talked me into going back and accepting the job

So once again I told Harvel that I was quitting and went to work for Chrysler at their Road Test Garage. They pay was so small I would not even look at it. To make more money I got a part time job at a nearby Shell station as a mechanic where I worked evenings and Saturdays.

Road Test Garage* was in a very old building that was originally used by the Oakland Car Company at the beginning of the [20th] century. I enjoyed working there because all the cars were new, and before we worked on the, they had to be washed, and then road tested after we worked on them. No more rusty cars! When we took them for a road test would usually stop for a coffee break and on paydays we were allowed to take a care to cash our checks at the bank.

There were about seventy-five mechanics that worked at the garage, and there were two shifts. i worked the day shift. Some of the mechanics worked on boats at a marina on the Saint Clair River at Algonac, some worked at the proving ground at Chelsea, and many worked at Highland Park where I worked. Probably the total number of mechanics at that time was about 500.

The work was interesting because I never knew what I would be working on from one day to another. One day I had a job on a Chrysler turbine car and when I finished I got to road test it. Chrysler had made 250 of them as test vehicles. Before I took it out on the road I was told to turn it off if the temperature exceeded 1500 degrees. It was a strange car to drive and it got a lot of attention.

To me, the traffic at Detroit was quite intimidating. I had not worked there very long when they gave me a brand new car that had just came from the factory, and a map of the city of Detroit, and told me to drive the 22 mile course marked on it. The object of the drive was to put 50,000 miles on the vehicle as fast as they could. I drove the car all day in the city, then another driver would drive to Chelsea, drive it on the high speed track, then back to the garage so I could drive it the next day.

The first day I took the vehicle I had white knuckles from watching the cabs, buses, and other vehicles, and watching for the streets marked on the map. But after a few days it got to be old stuff, and I became at ease driving [in Detroit].

There were five other drivers with different model cars driving the same course, and most of them knew the city very well. Sometimes we would play follow the leader, and the leader would drive through back alleys and trucking lots, trying to lose us. Sometimes he would and we would find each other going in different directions, or coming from cross streets from which we could not follow. When we became too dispersed we would give up and go back on course.

Second Street was a rough area and prostitutes walked the streets and some of them would even call from the windows of their houses as you passed by. Some of the drivers would stop to talk with them and as the gal was to get into the car, drive off. They thought that was fun.

Every day we would go to Palmer Park where we would eat our lunch at a picnic table, feed the ducks, and take a walk.

Vintage postcard of Palmer Park in Detroit, MI

One payday I decided to cash my check at a bank on Grand River Street. All our cars had a device in the trunk that wrote on a paper disc to show that the car was in motion, so I hoped to just pop into the bank, cash my check, and get back on the route.

Well the line I was in had a lady in front of me, and in front of her was a man talking to the cashier. The man left, then the cashier left, and a man came from the rear of the ban and asked us to move to another line. In a few minutes a policeman came in and then I found out that the bank had been robbed by the man in the line ahead of us. The detective asked if I had seen anything, and I never saw a thing. I wanted to get back to the car because I was worried that the disc record would show I was not driving, and I was hoping the car had not been stolen. I turned the record in at the end of the day and nothing was said the following day, so I had gotten away with it.

It was summer and one of the cars I was given was a convertible and I put the top down and it was great! Each day we were given instructions to run the air conditioner, or the wipers, in an attempt to simulate real life use. If anything went wrong with the vechicle we were to report and repair it. This went on for a month, then we went back to work at Road Test. After a month of driving city traffic I was no longer intimidated.

One day I was given a work order and it said to install a special instrumented and modified automatic transmission into a new car that I was provided with. I was to remove the right front bucket seat, the floor mat, and cut a large hole in the floor board so that the transmission could be looked at. The transmission had a window of Plexiglas at the torque tube so its inside could be viewed. When I was done with the job two engineers and I took the car for a test drive. While I was driving each engineer would get on his knees and look at the window in the transmission. They were trying to find out when and how much oil was going to the real seal. After each of them looked we changed places and I looked. That job went pretty well.

Another job I was provided with a new Barracuda and asked to install a V-8 engine in it. It was the first V-8 engine ever put in that model car. When I was done with the job a different pair of engineers and I took the car on the road to test drive it.

We drove it down Second Avenue in Detroit. It was running along just fine until the driver kicked it into passing gear. When he did this, the car jumped, kicked, and shuddered. We stopped the car, opened the hood, and looked inside. The wiring harness was all burned up. What they had not thought of was that when the accelerator was depressed all the way, the rod in the engine compartment contacted the starter relay, which burned out the wiring harness.

Luckily we could still drive the car back to the garage where I repaired it.

* According to Marc Rozman the Road Test garage "was the first concrete poured-wall building in Michigan a high tech building" with forms in concrete walls. 

Eugene Gochenour's Memoirs: Life Goes On: Moving to Royal Oak

Dad continued his memoirs to include his new life in Royal Oak, MI. It is a story of the American Dream of the 1960s, a time when we believed that hard work and short-term sacrifice would lead to financial security.

Dad a few years after we moved

My Ramer grandparents and Mom's brother and sister were already living in Metro Detroit. Mom wanted to be near her family; Dad dreamt of a job in the auto industry. Dad was 34 years old and without retirement, life insurance, or health care. Working for the auto industry meant benefits, especially health insurance for Mom's psoriatic arthritis that was destroying her joints. 

Here is Dad's story.

Life goes on.

During the early 50s Joyce's family moved to Detroit where her father went to work for General Motors. Her sister Nancy was married and her husband Joe moved there also. Joyce's brothers Don and Dave were still living at home so they went, too. Her only relative living in the area was her grandmother, Delia Greenwood, who lived on Englewood Avenue in Kenmore.

We made a few short trips to Detroit, but I really did not like big cities. Occasionally, Joyce and Nancy would take a train to Detroit to visit Joyce's parents. Joyce had a serious skin disease called psoriasis and while she was there she would go to the Henry Ford Hospital in hope of finding a cure.

In 1959 our son Tom was born, so now there was Joyce, Nancy, Tom, my mother and I living together. Running the garage was a hard life, and I thought I had better make a change before I grew too old. I knew the mental and physical stress was wearing me down. Even with all the hard work and time spent at the station all we ever did was barely make a living. So, Joyce, Mother, and I started talking about selling the hose and business. We talked about buying a motel in the Adirondacks, or my going to work at a factory, or working as a mechanic at a car dealership, but I really didn't like any of those options.  I knew I did not want to go into another business.

Joyce wanted to be near her family and since my mother was living with us we decided we would move to Detroit where I would get a job with one of the major car companies. I hoped to get work at General Motors where my father-in-law and brother-in-law Don worked.

We put the property on the market but real estate sales were slow and we did not get any offers. When it was found out we were selling the business we lost some customers because they decided to find another place to service their cars. it took many months before we got the first offer and it was much lower than the price we were asking, but we decided to take it. The man who bought the house and business was named Harper and he used the station to run his gutter business.

Mother continued living in the same part of the house after my father died. Joyce and Nancy and I lived in the same upstairs apartment but we all agreed it would be better for Mom to have company and we moved to her apartment. At the time we sold the business Mom had lived with us for six years, and Joyce and Nancy and Tom loved her dearly, so we planned to all move to Detroit together. After the offer on the station was accepted I had to sell and give away many things to get ready for the move.

it was decided with Joyce's family in Detroit that we would move our things in and live with them until we got our own home.

My Grandparent Ramer's home on Gardenia in Royal Oak

I made several trips to Detroit, hauling my boat and other things, but our furniture and appliances were hauled there by a moving company we hired. I remember the day they loaded the van. All our furniture and possessions only filled about a quarter of it. It cost four hundred and fifty dollars for the mover.

When we finally moved in with Joyce's parents, their basement, attic, and garage was packed full. They were probably surprised by how much we had brought. It was a pretty big house, but we sure did fill it up!

Grandpa and Grandma Ramer with a relative
in back of their home on Gardenia, RO.
While we lived with them I slept in the second story
screened porch off the master bedroom.

My mother did not come with us when we moved in with Joyce's family. We planned to bring her when we bought our own home. In the meantime she lived with my sister Alice and her family in Tonawanda.

One day I went to General Motors employment office and had an interview for a job, then went back to Joyce's family's house, expecting to get a call saying I was hired, but it didn't happen. After about a week or so I decided I should look elsewhere for a job.Then my brother-in-law Don Ramer told me of a shop that needed a mechanic. Louis Scott worked with Don at the General Motors Tech Center and his father Paul owned Scott's Garage which was located on Hudson Street in Royal Oak. So I went there, talked with Paul, and was hired.

The building looked like a garage from the thirties. It was deep and dimly lit. I remember that we had a radio there and I was listening to it on the day John Kennedy was assassinated. I was the only mechanic, and Paul did not have many customers. I knew only Joyce's family in Michigan and since it was not very busy, I had lots of time to think. One day I was sort of depressed and thought to myself, "What am I doing here, away from all my relatives and friends?" Back home I had dozens of relatives, many friends, and hundreds of customers. Here I knew almost no one.

But the feeling soon passed and when I would meet new people I would think, "that person reminds me of someone I knew back home." It was like a game, and many of the people I met did remind me of customers or friends form the past.

Paul did not always have a full weeks work for me, so I decided that I had better look for another job. One day Joyce saw an ad in the newspaper for a job as a mechanic at a Shell station that was located at Lincoln and Main Streets in Royal Oak. I went there and was interviewed by the manager whose nae was Bob Cupp. Bob was a fine and likable person and he told the owner about me, and I was hired.

I had worked for Paul for about a month when I told him that I had to have a full weeks work to live on and would have to quit. There were no bad feelings, because Paul understood.

I started at the Shell station at a weekly pay of 60% of the labor on the jobs I did with a guarantee of $126 a week. Harvel Akins was the name of the owner, and he was a fine person, and a good and honest boss. Harvel had served in the US Navy and the station was always spic and span.

He and all the station attendants were from Kentucky or Tennessee. They all had a Southern accent and the station attendants told many redneck and hillbilly jokes. This is one of the jokes they told:

Mother had a cat and every day when she walked into the bedroom she would see the cat sleeping on the bed next to a pile of cat poop. She told a friend about her problem and the friend said she knew how to cure the cat. She said the next time that happened to grab the cat by the neck, push its head into the poop, and throw it out the window. Well, the next day when she went into the bedroom the cat was again sleeping next to a fresh pile, so she grabbed it by the neck, stuck its head into the pile, and threw it out the window. Then on the following day when she went into the bedroom, the cat saw her, stuck its head into the poop, and jumped out the window.

She sure solved that problem!

I was the only mechanic and repaired any problem on any vehicle that came into the station. I overhauled engines, did wheel alignments, brake work, exhaust systems, tune ups, etc., on all makes and models. Even though I had power tools it was hard physical labor.

I had told Harvel when I started that I felt I had to go to work for a major car company because at 34 years old I needed to find a job with a good retirement plan.

All during this time Joyce and I were talking to real estate agents trying to find a house we liked and could afford.

Since I had never heard from General Motors about a job I decided to try Chrysler. One morning I went to Highland Park to their employment office and was interviewed for a mechanic job. They gave me many tests and when they finished they told me the would hire me for $113 a week. I accepted the offer that Monday and they told me to start on the following Monday. So, I went back and told Harvel that I had the job and had to quit. I told him I was sorry for the short notice.

But then on Wednesday, Chrysler called me and told me they could not hire me because one of their union members wanted the job. So, I told Harvel that the job had fallen through and he was happy and gave me a raise. But I told that sooner or later I would have to leave.

Photo of 211 W Houstonia from realtor

After checking out many houses we finally found one we thought liked and could afford. It was on Houstonia Street in Royal Oak. So we moved all out things from Joyce's parents' house after we cleaned and painted the inside of our new home.

Houstonia house, 1963

Since my mother was to live with us we wanted a house that could accommodate us all. The house we chose had two bedrooms downstairs and two upstairs. It had a two-and-a-half car garage and a large backyard. We paid $12,000 for it and put $3,000 down.

Then we called Mother to tell her about the house and I drove to Tonawanda to bring her and her belongings back to our new home to live with us. Joyce and the kids were very happy to see her. Moving out of Joyce's family's house must have been a happy day for them! While Mother lived with us she was very homesick.

Me, Tom, and Grandma Gochenour. Christmas 1963, Houstonia,
You can just see part of the remodeled kitchen on the right side.

This photo shows Nancy, Tom and Mother. It was taken at the dining room of our house on Houstonia Street in Royal Oak, Michigan. Not long after, Mother went back to Tonawanda, New York, to live with my sister Alice. This broke Joyce's heart, because Mom had lived with us for six years and she and Joyce were very close. She was closer to my mother than to her own.

Houstonia was a very nice street to live on, and we soon got to know most of the neighbors. At the house west of us lived John and Jerry Voight. At the home east of ours lived Mr and Mrs. Reynolds, an older retired couple. Next to them lived Laura and Irv Beaupied and their six children. Then came Jean and Gordon McNab with their two boys. On the corner of Houstonia and Main Streets lived Ruth and Bud Brehm and their two children. Across the street from them on Houstonia lived Edna and Art Lentner and their two children. So, because of the children, we all got to know each other.

Dad painting the Houstonia house

After we moved in we put in new cupboards, kitchen counter tops, a new oven, and remodeled the kitchen. I painted the outside, put shutters on the windows, and a wrought iron railing on the front steps. We also put in an above ground pool in the backyard.

Grandma Gochenour in the kitchen during remodeling

Here I am in the kitchen Dad was remodeling.
It had light orange painted walls and the Formica
countertops included an orange boomerang motif.

I worked five and a half days at the Shell station, on the house during the evening, and repaired cars in my garage on the weekends. That did not leave much time for play.

Here are photographs of our first Christmas in our new home. Mom painted the walls light turquoise, still a trendy color in 1963.

Dad trying on a new robe while Tom checks out what Santa left him

Dad, me on the couch