Nancy Goes to College: Greeks, Freaks, and GDIs

I have not thought about my freshman year at college for decades. Recreating the year from diaries and photos, and probing a few friends, brought revelations. 

Mr. Botens told my freshman English class in fall of 1966 that we are three people: the person you were in the past, the person you are now this minute, and the person you will and want to become in the future. During my freshman college year I was making very important decisions about the kind of woman I wanted to become.

Adrian Freshman yearbook photo

August, 1970, I arrived at Adrian College in Adrian, Michigan and moved into the second floor of Estes Hall. It was the dorm I had seen on my tour and had liked so well. As I unpacked the floral fabric suitcases I had received as a graduation gift, I was unpacking my past, a wardrobe and mementos from high school.

Carillon tower, Adrian College

The new album Crosby Stills Nash and Young  was blasting out of a men's dorm window near the quad where guys were always playing Frisbee. To this day, that music brings back the heady sounds of late summer, the joy of being young and on the cusp of new adventure. This year was a perpetual roller coaster of new experiences and new people.

Adrian College

Adrian College, with only 1,500 students, was half the size of Kimball High. Greek societies were important on campus, dorms were segregated, and girls had curfews. It was like living in the 50s.

There were four Kimball girls there: Me, Lynn Martin, Nancy Briggs, and Jan McDonald. Except for Lynn I rarely ran into any of them. Also, I knew a boy from my church and Sunday School class.

Lynn Martin

Nancy Briggs

Jan McDonald

Also in Estes Hall was my old friend Lynn Martin who was rooming with Marti from Redford.

My roommate Gloria was an extrovert and quickly made friends. I tagged along. She even organized 'dinner parties' which we jointly prepared in the dorm basement kitchen.

Our dorm room. I see my drawing on the lower left, art by my boyfriend,
 my lighted mirror and my guitar.

Our dorm room. The Love Story poster from my boyfriend.

When Gloria decided to run for class secretary she enlisted everyone in her campaign. She had posters made which we helped to hang in the cafeteria.

Me and Lynn, Adrian cafeteria

Lynn on the right, me on the left. Steve in the center
Working on Gloria's campaign.

I became friends with another Estes Hall girl, Elaine, and her high school boyfriend Tim. Elaine played the violin and mandolin. One night she used her Mary Kay cosmetics and gave me a makeover. Tim was in Phi Mu Alpha, a music fraternity, and I got to know many his brothers. For some reason we called him 'Uncle Tim' and his frat brothers were all 'Uncle' to me.

Gloria and Elaine

Tim and me

I took Eastern Civ because I already had a good basis in Western Civ  from Kimball from my Ancient and Medieval History and Modern History classes. I struggled with Freshman Composition and Lit. because of my lousy spelling and lack of skill in non-creative writing. Introduction to Philosophy was disappointing. It was all logic and not like what we had studied in Mr. Boten's Western Lit class.

I looked forward to Environmental Biology, having enjoyed Mr. Gasiorowski's high school class. Professor Husband was a great teacher. The class was held in a lecture hall for 100 students.

I sat next to Sendy whose father was a professor at Adrian. One day she told me she knew traditional Chinese palm reading and asked to read my palm. She said I had tapered, narrow fingers, which was unusual; I thought it because I had played piano since I was eight. Sendy said I would have a smooth life, have 'love affairs' but fall in love only once, that I would not have much of a career but I would have three children, and I live into my 80s before I had health problems. She also said I was intelligent but not an A student. I never had those three kids. I never had a real career. I did get A grades eventually. I'm still waiting to see about the long life.

Gym was required. I was OK at archery but lousy at volleyball. Then I tried Folk Dancing. My first partner was an artist--my type, I thought. I had a mad crush on him. Over the year we became friendly but not really friends. My second dance partner was a quiet, tall mountain of a man who was light on his feet and a better dancer than me!

Jim with his Smile pin

That fall I saw an ad in a magazine for Smile face pins and ordered them. I gave one to each new friend I made. I called it my 'People Collecting Club.' I gave out twenty pins over the year. By spring, the yellow Smiley face image could be found on sale everywhere. I was ahead of the curve!

The original order form for Smile face stuff

Over the next years people gave me all kinds of Smile face items.

I believe this year Adrian had seven African American students. Adrian was created by Asa Mahan, the first president of Oberlin College. He was an abolitionist involved in the Underground Railroad. Adrian now houses The Sojourner Truth Technical Training Center and digital archive on the Underground Railroad. I thought it was sad there was so little diversity on campus.

Friends finding out how many can fit into the Estes Hall phone booth

My parents' Halloween costumes 

At Thanksgiving break my old boyfriend came to visit my family with his wife and baby. I was very glad to be where I was instead of married with a kid. I went on a date with the boy I sometimes dated.

I am with my old boyfriend's baby.
I am wearing a wig, which were popular, and a peace dove button.

Jim few into town to visit me for a weekend. We had been writing all fall and he hoped to cement our relationship. His folks did not support his coming and I tried to dissuade him from coming. Dad took Jim, Tom, and me to Roselawn Cemetery at 12 MI in Berkley to fed the ducks at the pond there. I bet we are the only family that regularly went to the cemetery for fun!

I sang some Leonard Cohen songs I had learned including "Hey, That's No Way to Say Goodbye." Jim became angry and asked if I was trying to tell him something. He had brought records to share with me. We were sitting on the floor in my living room listening on the high fi, the records scattered across the floor. My brother walked through the room near the records and Jim yelled a warning at him not to step on them. His response seemed unjustified. These flashes of petulance resulted in my realizing we had no future.

That fall The Association and Josh White Jr. performed on campus.

Marti, a lifelong United Methodist, took me to a communion chapel service before Christmas break. I was Episcopal and the United Methodist service was very different; I had a negative 'culture shock' first reaction.

Marti Boynton

At Christmas, I had a party with Kimball friends and my new friends Marti and Sam from Adrian. My friend since Jane Addams Jr High and fellow Girls Choir member Peggy D. and I played guitar. I also went on a date with the boy I sometimes saw.

Playing my guitar at the Christmas party

Second semester brought changes. Girls went out for Rush Week to choose sororities, including my roommate Gloria. She moved out to room with a sorority sister. Lynn and Marti parted ways and Marti became my roommate.

Marti in Estes Hall common area

I had decided to be a GDI--God Damned Independent--and not join a sorority. I did not like the exclusivity. I wanted to have friends from all kinds of backgrounds like I had at Kimball.

second semester ID

I was in the college choir, singing second alto. Marti was also in choir. Our concert piece was The Carmina Burana. We sang the opening piece O Fortuna in chapel!

I am front row center,

I was also was in the required Comp part two, Philosophy of Religion, Historical Geology, and Intro to History.

I loved Historical Geology class. In March the class went to a limestone quarry in Ohio to look for fossils. I loved rock collecting and thought it was great fun. It was a beautiful day. I wrote, "We all separate, diligently, eagerly, clawing at the rocks and crumbling rubble, coming up with brachiopods, trilobites, corals, and dirt, dust, and more dirt." I lost my boot heel in the mud.

That evening a friend, Tom, asked me to walk with him to the Spanish Inn in Adrian. I had never eaten Mexican food before coming to Adrian. The first time I saw tacos on the lunch tray I had no idea how to eat them. We walked across the College Street bridge talking about college and poetry. He ordered new food for me to try.

With Marti I made friends different from those I met through Gloria. George, Jack, Jim, and Dick and Marti and I had a lot of fun together, eating meals together in the cafeteria and hanging at the Pub. I taught lessons in Sugar Drawing. Basically, you pour the sugar out from the packets onto the table, and run your finger through it to draw. What a waste.

Jack, Marti and me at the Pizza Bucket in Adrian

Lynn, George, and Marti at Estes Hall

One day during lunch the guys threw sugar packets at Marti. When we rose to leave, George quietly picked up all the packets and put them back. I was very impressed and declared forever more the day be celebrated in his honor. Marti still remembers to celebrate George Quay Day. On February 21, 1971, George told me about meeting a girl back home, Nancy Hemmings. She would become his wife.

George

Jack

Jim playing in the student lounge

Like many Adrian students, most weekends Marti went home. I spent a lot of time in the library, reading Greek plays and the poetry of T.S. Eliot. I noted reading Art and Reality by Joyce Cary, For Whom the Bell Tolls by Hemingway, The Idiot by Dostoyevsky, Hawaii by Michener, and Beck: A Book by John Updike. I mention seeing the movie Catch 22 on campus. Looking at my grades this year, I should have been studying and not free reading!

I also spent a lot of time at the Pub, drinking coffee and reading. I had the idea that a book would magically attract 'the right sort'. The Pub had barrel chairs and tables, pinball machines, and a jukebox. The soda bar sold light refreshments including the first bagels and cream cheese I had ever seen.

People would sit down at the table with me to talk. One weekend Ed, a 'pinball wizard', sat down with me. He was joined by Chris who had long hair and a maxi coat. Chris invited me to come to his parties at his off-campus pad. Ed shook his head, warning me I would not like it. I was so naive I had no idea that these 'parties' were not like the ones my family held!

Chris was also in my philosophy class. He started calling me and we dated for a while. His friends thought that I was too straight and would pull him away from hosting parties. My friends worried that he would 'corrupt me.'

He took me home to visit and I met his mom. Something in him wanted to be saved, but then he'd try to persuade me to change who I was. He was interesting and different, played piano and guitar and had a faith in God, but I knew he was not right for me. I would not change who I was and he did not want to change either. Later he went out with Lynn and liked her, but she liked another boy.

I am wearing a top from Finland

I wrote that Jack and I went to the spring dance with Jim and George and their dates. It was completely friendly.

I am goofing off, playing Cousin It

I was thrilled when the college literary magazine accepted and published my poem The Remodeled Temple. The poem was inspired by my family trip to Niagara Falls the previous year when I saw the yellow foam from phosphate pollution.

Niagara flows over the jutting escarpment
anciently pushed upwards by monstrous
inward powers generated from below--
a long forgotten strength.

The mist rises like steam from a hot bath,
like rain...falling upwards
in billowing clouds of opaque moisture.
Water tumbles white bubbles at the foot,
and foaming, floating, spreading to the river's boundary,
creeps the current born brown-yellow scum.

Where once nature held a holy and secret temple
to the gods, in the midst of this, their handiwork,
celebrating with glorious roaring its own beauty,
man now divides with concrete
and steel-skeletoned buildings,
and populates the shore continually,
people holding cameras and ticket stubs
and souvenirs and pride ("I was here")
and pollutes the waters with his
competent, advanced, scientific, civilized
waste.

George and I flew kites on campus between Mahon and Dawson Hall. The kites got tangled up and kids stopped by to help, including a seven-year-old boy who made plans to met us the next day for more kite flying in the IM field. Lots of local kids hung around campus.

Jim had been depressed but now wrote that he had found a 'replacement' for me and I was glad. He also asked me to keep writing to him. A few weeks later he called because I had not sent any letters. A guy was waiting for me in the lobby to go see Tora Tora Tora and I did not have time to talk. (That was one boring movie.)

Over spring break I attended my home church, went to Great Scott and saw the Kimball boy I knew who worked there, and discovered that my first crush Mike was back on the block. He was as cute as ever and I was still too shy to talk to him. My brother and his brother became friends. Sam and Marti came to visit me.

A little-known singer, John Denver, performed at the college that spring. His song Leaving on a Jet Plane had been recorded by Peter, Paul, and Mary. Now he was trying to make it singing his own songs. After the concert, several of my People Collecting Club members and I went backstage to give him a smile pin.

Another May trip back home I went to Barney's in the morning and that afternoon saw my grandfather Ramer in the hospital. It must have been when he had his second heart attack. The next day, Sam and Marti and I went to Kensington Nature Park and "untangled fishing line." That evening we went to the Raven Gallery. On the way home, I got pensive and despaired, wondering if I should become a 'freak' since it seemed the all the creative people were. Sam asked Marti if I got that way often.

May 3, 1971, I wrote about man's imperfection and the resulting hypocrisy. "Man desires the love and esteem of his fellow men, but finds his faults only merit their hatred and contempt," I noted Pascal wrote in his Pensees.

I was determined that my "reach exceed my grasp" in trying to be better.

"We try to make ourselves helpful, useful; we try to reach in our bumbling way. We can't always see--if sometimes we're blind, well, what can we say? Admit the fact, try harder. We know we'll never reach perfection. God knows, he made us imperfect, yet we insist on trying our hand at it. No one can please all of the people. No one man can be universally loved, accepted, liked. I must and do take my enemies as inevitable. It makes me sad and guilty and forces me to take another look at myself--detect flaws to be changed. But I am confident that I am on the right track, I have made friends."

In early May when I was in the Pub a boy named Jim sat down with me. I did not care for him; he was a horrible flirt. Really, he had the worse lines ever. He said I'd make a 'good minister's wife,' which was the last thing on my mind. Then he was joined by a boy who had his head in a music score, waving his hands in the air. Gary was in conducting class and was just given the music he was to conduct for his final. I perked up, for it was rare to meet someone who liked classical music.

Jim and Gary went to Ohio that weekend to investigate a seminary. On Monday I had a sore throat and went to the school doctor; he said I had strep throat and perhaps mono. I was on painkillers and was unable to sing in the spring concert. It didn't keep me bedridden. I was at the Pub and hanging out. On Wednesday a bunch of us 'went raving' in Gary's VW, driving down the dark country roads.

Gary and I were getting to know each other. One of Gary's friends, Gwen, asked how I felt about him. I liked him. Elaine thought she should have met Gary first because she thought they were better suited for each other! Since Gary and Tim were both in Phi Mu Alpha it is surprising they had not met already.

Over Memorial Day weekend Gary took me to his home. His family made their annual trip to the cemetery and I waited while they cleared the grave sites and left flowers. His mom had packed baloney and butter sandwiches to eat for lunch. I hated butter on sandwiches. Apparently, our families had one thing in common: they believed in taking their kids' friends to the cemetery!

One Saturday night I woke up, hearing voices. Several drunk boys were outside my dorm window, trying to climb up to see a girl on the second floor. Usually, a girl would prop open the side door so a boy could sneak in!

Two ATO frats were killed in a drunk driving accident on May 22.

Sam and Marti broke up, then reunited. Elaine and Tim broke up. She had met a boy while visiting home.

Gary was taking summer school classes because he couldn't get work at GM for the summer. That meant he would graduate a semester early. I was going home for the summer. As we got to know each other over those two weeks I forgot about all those other boys. Gary seemed about perfect.

School ended and I returned home. I visited old friends. My family went to my Uncle Dave's home for dinner. We had ice cream at Howard Johnsons. I visited the McNab family.

I missed Gary. Then on June 1, there was a knock on the door and a VW parked out front. Gary had stopped by on his way from Grand Blanc to Ohio. He would stop by again on his way back. Mom liked him. When he returned, Sam and Marti and Gary and I went to the Detroit Zoo.

Over summer Gary would spend many weekends at my home.

Summer 1970: A Time of Transition

Me, June 1970, wearing a woven bark bead necklace from Finland
and a culotte dress in a very 1970s print.

Graduation was exciting. I wrote I had "reached success" because I had made so many friends and was "surrounded by love and friendship." The whirl of parties and people kept me high. I saw old friends and made new ones who I would never see again. There were guitars and singing, TPing trips, dancing, and swimming.

Everywhere I went I saw Kimball kids. Cars honked and hands waved. I had come to Royal Oak knowing no one. Now it was home.

I wrote free association in my diary, writing about feeling in limbo:

"I am held in mid-air,
not a part of  Kimball, the past
my loves and friends,
not a part of tomorrow and college.

I am ended.
I am waiting.
I will begin again,
seven weeks from now.

I must leave behind
my childhood."

And another time I wrote,

"I am leaving
torn again, part left behind
     part to travel onward—
I am pierced
       broken
        between time."

The summer of 1970 brought my first job, the loss of my exchange student sister, and a boy.

This magazine ad was my inspiration
I had it on my bedroom wall.

When I graduated from high school my mom was 38 years old. Dad was 39. My brother was 10. And I was still 17. We all had summer birthdays.

My family around Christmas 1969

On July 23 I helped Elina pack her suitcase. Uta and Elina's best friend Paula came to our house for dinner and then we went out for ice cream. The next day we drove Elina to Saginaw Valley College where all the Michigan exchange students were gathered before flying home. I wrote,

Mom teaching Paula to jitterbug

"July 24, 1970, Friday
We got up early— Went to Saginaw Valley College.  All night I had recalled waiting for Elina to arrive, her late plane; and now we walked in the fine rain under gray, crying skies, to take her on her way home.
The dorm room was nice—small but pleasant. Her roommate was a Swedish girl, peculiar, a hopeful writer, nice. We talked. They’ll be busy & have fun.
She [Elina] saw Hannah [another Finnish girl] and her girlfriend from Rovaniemi. The other girl turned, crying, her family moving off in a white car.
Mom said goodbye to Elina, then I. Elina was tearless, smiling, cheerful. We got in the car and drove off, waving.
Mom had her tears before we left, crying on Elina’s shoulder.
Dad later cried, on his bed.
Tom wouldn’t kiss her goodbye.
I walked into what had been Elina's room, opened the windows. I wondered what to do with the remnants, and then I cried."

Elina, Lancer 1970 photo

I needed to find a job. I first was hired for a job in telephone sales making $1.60 an hour but was looking for something better. I applied for jobs at the Main Theater and other places, but really wanted the job at Barney's, the Save-On drug store at Crooks and 13 Mile Road. I had often stopped there on my way home from school to buy a notebook, magazine, or paperback book.

I got the Barney's job as a cashier at the front register. Dad taught me how to count change back to the customer. One day a man pulled the old trick of trying to confuse the cashier. He gave me a twenty dollar bill and I gave him change. He then decided he wanted me to return the twenty and he'd return the change and asked me to give him different denominations back. I don't know if he was successful but I recall being confused.

On July 29 I wrote,

"I am officially 18, though, because of saying it’s my age for months—I feel like I’ve been 18 all year.
Uta’s leaving after tomorrow.  Alta’s coming over tonight.
I am sad—read many sad things today: Thomas Mann's Little Herr Friedemann, The Big Eye--sci-fi short stories, Mausappant. etc.
I am 18 & Mom says I’m 'on my own'. I miss Kimball. I’m anxious for Adrian."

My old beau contacted us to say he had married his girlfriend, the girl we had broken up over, several weeks previous.

On August 3 I wrote that Uta's American Mom said that Uta 'cried terribly' upon parting.

The upside of working at Barney's was seeing so many Kimball kids. But I felt I was living in a 'shadow land', with high school in my past and college in the future.

On August 15 I bought a new coat at Fields in Royal Oak. I was gathering what I needed for college.

There was a partial eclipse of the moon on August 16 and we saw the Northern Lights. Dad always knew about these things and made sure we saw them.

On August 18 I talked with my Adrian roommate on the phone. I was disappointed because she was interested only in coordinating the dorm room with matching bed spreads. I wanted to know if we had mutual interests and might be friends. The college 'matched' roommates, and in a superficial way we were 'compatible.' We were both active in school. I had been in journalism and choir and had an exchange student. She was class secretary and on Homecoming court. Quite different backgrounds!

On August 26 My friend Alta came to my house with her childhood friend, who was visiting the area with his friend Jim. I wrote that I had on bell bottom jeans, a flag t-shirt, bare feet, with my hair held back in a clip.

It appeared Alta had told Jim about me. We talked about authors and books. I was surprised when Jim started quoting from Romeo and Juliet, holding my hand, and then he kissed me. Things were going awfully fast for a first meeting. I was a little starry eyed but also suspicious.

He returned a few days later and had his brother take a photo of us together. He made it clear he wanted to have a long distance relationship. We had fun together and unlike any boy before, we did share a love of poetry, writing, and the arts. But I wondered if he was 'snowing' me. And why would someone settle for a long distance relationship?

So I went off to college with a 'boyfriend,' someone I barely knew, who had a girl in his hometown but was talking about plans for 'our future.' I was doubtful about the whole relationship. I warned that I was not going to be tied down, that in college I hoped to met many new people and expected he would date, too.

I kept in mind a line from a favorite poem by Robert Hillyer: “Illusion shatters, the idea is much more ruthless than the real." I did not want to jump into a relationship that was not based on really knowing each other. I'd been down that road before.

College represented a journey of growth and further knowledge of the world.

In my diary I quoted Ecclesiastes,

I have acquired great wisdom, surpassing all who were over Jerusalem before me; and my mind has had great experience of wisdom and knowledge, and I applied my mind to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this is also but a striving after wind.  For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases wisdom, increases sorrow. (Ecclesiastes, 16-18).

Then I added, "It may be true, but such is my vanity that I want to obtain much knowledge and be wise, and discover much truth, and hence I’m off to college."

I had written on my college application that I wanted to understand the Big Picture, how history and the present, the physical world and the created world, all linked together. I had great curiosity. I applied as a teaching major, too unsure to say "writer." I had thought about teaching since junior high school when I was Mrs. Hayden's class. I had 'taught' my little brother, taught friends guitar chords and piano, and personally loved school. I liked understanding something and translating what I had learned to share with others.

In my diary I wrote, "I want to go to college for the potential friendships that may come in the small college atmosphere. I plan to meet and know many people, branding some with the name of 'friend'. I want to finish my learning and want nothing to hinder it. I have many football games and concerts to attend, and many friendships to establish and keep fueled, and much to learn and to become."

I bought this wristwatch. 

I had a Hot Pot, the plastic case 'Mustang' Hi-Fi my folks bought me at K-Mart for Christmas in 1967, a Love Story poster from Jim, my Kimball class ring and the gold cross from Confirmation, my Charlie the Tuna wristwatch, and my books including Pascal's Pensees, poetry books by Stephen Crane and Robert Hillyer, my leather bound Confirmation presentation Bible, and You Can't Go Home Again by Thomas Wolfe. I had my high school skirts and sweaters, the tiger stripe fur hat from Dorothy and Kathy, a poncho with Astrology signs, and bell bottom jeans.

Best of all I had confidence and hope.

Here I am out in the woods with Dad

Dad's Memoir On His Exchange Student Daughter

Elina in Lapland costume
at her family home in Rovaniemi

Dad wrote about our year with Elina Salmi, the Finnish exchange student who lived with us during my senior year at Kimball High School. I know he enjoyed being her host dad, showing her America and the world he loved.

"Elina Comes to America

"Although Elina had studied the English language at her school in Finland, we soon learned that we should talk slowly so she could translate in her mind what we were saying. At first Elina talked very little, so we never knew what she was thinking. We soon learned that Finns showed little emotion.

"The first meal we had as a family was eaten in our dining room. We had corn on the cob and hot dogs. Elina later told us that she had never had corn before and thought it was only fed to pigs.

"Elina loved fruit, a food that was not too available in Finland. When Joyce went shopping she would buy apples and bananas along with the other food she thought would last a week. Elina liked the bananas so much.

"One day Elina spent some time in the kitchen and baked us a Finnish desert with many layers, and reminded me of Danish pastry. It was very good.

"In the small town in northern Finland where Elina lived the local TV stations did not have many channels and most of the programs were not of interest to her. The few American programs she saw were like The Addams Family or Green Acres, so she thought Americans must be very weird.


"Like now in our country, most of the programs on Saturday morning were for children and Elina would lay on the living room floor and watch them. But after a few weeks, I noticed she no longer watched them and I asked her why. She said, "those programs are for little children." I think, though, that she learned more about the English language watching them than any other thing. To me, it seemed that she had gone through an accelerated stage that American children go through.

Elina joined our family during the month of July, 1969. We had a 16' above ground swimming pool in our back yard and she spent much time enjoying the sun and the water.

"Anita called us one day and asked if we could take one more student for a weekend, and we said we would. He was an exchange student from Brazil and he told us that his father owned a shoe factory. I suspect his family was fairly rich because they had maids and servants.

Me, the Brazilian exchange student, and Elina

"During that summer we took a trip to Tonawanda, New York where we stayed with my sister Alice and her family, husband Ken, son Dave, and daughter Beverly. While we were there I wanted to show Elina the area so we went to see Niagara Falls. Joyce did not go along so there was just Nancy, Tom, Elina and I.


"I drove to the Canadian side and we went to the Maid of the Mist dock. I parked the car and we walked down to the building to buy the tickets. The gave us rain gear to put on. When we got onto the boat it was so crowded we had a hard time finding a place along the railing to see the Falls. The water was thrashing and white with foam, and the closer we got to the Falls, the harder the wind blew and the heavier the mist.

Dad's photo of the Maid of the Mist

"As I looked up at the Falls, the boat rocked, and suddenly my back gave out and I sunk to my knees. So here I am, kneeling on the pitching deck, and nobody even saw me. When I tried to get up I could not stand straight. When we got back to the deck I was in pain and had to walk bent over up the hill to the car. I felt bad that this would ruin our day but I thought I would make the best of it and drove to a parking lot near the Falls. I parked there and sat in the car while the others went to observe the Falls from the brink.

"On the way back to my sister's house I drove through the Tonawanda Indian Reservation and the Niagara Power Plant.

"Once back at Alice's house I lay on the floor but I could not get comfortable A friend of ours, Kate Marvin, was a nurse and since it was a Sunday she was home. Joyce called her and she came over and gave me some muscle relaxer pills. Thanks to the pills and a good night's sleep the next morning I could stand straight.


"Kimball High School in Royal Oak, Michigan was the school that Nancy and Elina attended their senior year. There were four exchange students attending Kimball that year. Uta Schnubbe, a girl from Germany, Myrna Guerra from Chile, Toshihiko Fukuyama from Japan, and Elina Salmi from Finland.

Dad and Mom fall of 1969

"In those days exchange students were given free tuition, admission to all school activities, yearbooks, books, graduation gowns and pictures, and supplies. Their classmates ran various fund raising projects for money so the exchange students could go on a ski trip in Michigan, and a trip to Washington, D.C.

"Occasionally all the students would come to the house and tell of their experiences and also about their families and their country.f

Dad with Tosh

"Tosh was the nickname given to the Japanese student. His family lived in Tokyo and he said that the smog was very bad there. He told us that the dream of a Japanese student was to go to Tokyo
University. It was so competitive that many would not be able to enroll until they were 28 or 29 years old.

"Uta came from Germany. her father had a high position as a church pastor. When she went back to Germany she went to university and then became a judge.

"Myrna came from Chile and her family lived at the Southern end of the country near Terra del Fuego. Not long after she arrived it was found she had T.B. and was placed in a sanitarium in Pontiac, MI. One day we went to visit her and told her how bad we felt because of all the experiences she was missing. But she said "Don't feel bad for me. Back home my parents could not have afforded to send me to a hospital and I would not have been treated." We felt better after that.

"Elina's family lived a Rovaniemi, Finland, a small town located on the Arctic Circle. Her mother was an inorganic chemist. Her father worked for the Finnish government overseeing the lumber camps in northern Finland. Elina's brothers were Jaako, Juha, and Risto.

"At the corner of our street, Houstonia, and Main Street was an apartment building where the Brehm family lived. Ruth and Bud were the parents and their children were Pam and Steve. Bud sold broasters and broilers to restaurants throughout the state of Michigan. He had a trailer with a broiler on it that he used for demonstrations to new customers. The machine used hot oil to cook the chicken.

"Once a year during the summer we would arrange with our neighbors on our block to have a party either at Gordon McNab's house or our back yard. There were about ten families and we would all pay Ruth a few dollars for the chicken, and the night before the party she would marinate and prepare it. With the side dishes and pop and beer in the tubs full of ice, the hot broasted chicken completed the feast. Later in the evening we might put on some music and dance in the driveway, or go into the house and sing as Gordon played the piano.

"Once during a party at Gordon's house, all the adults and children were dancing on the driveway when Nancy said she lost her contact lens. Everyone stopped where they were and dropped on their knees to search for it. Luckily, no one stepped on it and it was eventually found.

"Block parties were something Elina had never seen and she enjoyed them very much. Afterward, she thought, "these crazy Americans!"

"Elina brought a box of chocolate from Finland for us, and it was delicious. I would buy chewing gum for her like Clove, Black Jack, and Wrigleys and let her try American drinks like milkshakes, malts, hot chocolate, and sundaes. I think she took much of the gum back to Finland when she went home. I found out also that most Finns don't like peanut butter because when she went home she took some for her brothers to try and they said it stuck to the roof of their mouths.

Elina's Halloween costume 

"Since we wanted Elina to experience different things in our country Joyce and Nancy gathered a few things to make a costume for Elina to go trick and treating with Tom. When they returned home Elina was very excited because of all the candy she had collected.

"Kimball High allowed the senior class to wear a costume at Halloween to school. A neighbor, Sharon Owens, made a pilgrim costume for Nancy and Joyce dyed it gray. Elina wore her native Finnish costume.

Elina and I dressed for Halloween 

"Once school began everyone was very busy. Joyce helped Elina with her English and history classes, and I helped her with Chemistry. Luckily Tom and Nancy were not jealous of all the time we spent working with her.

"We took Elina to a church at Farmington where they had a service spoken in the Finnish language, and to a Finnish American organization where she met many Finns that asked her questions about their native country.

"During the winter Elina went on a ski trip in northern Michigan and spent the day at the Madison Heights city hall observing how the city was run. There was Youth for Understanding meeting with students and their American parents, football games, and a concert that Nancy sang in.

"At the beginning of the school year Nancy and Elina had to walk to school. Elina was always slow to get moving in the morning. If Elina was not ready in the morning when it was time to go, Nancy would say, "I'm going" and starting walking down the street. Elina would run out the door with her books and a half-eaten apple in one arm, her coat dragging down the other.

"Then [in late December] Nancy got her driver's license and she drove one of our cars. Soon the school year was half over and Christmas was approaching.

Elina and Tom at Christmas 1969

"The school year was passing fast and soon it was time to be thinking about the Senior dance. Elina's classmates provided her with a date since she didn't have a boyfriend. His name was Rick and he was a junior and on the football team. He was very nice.

"Nancy at that time did not have a boyfriend and would not be going to the dance. But she took pleasure in preparing Elina. Elina never wore makeup and had a tomboy appearance. So Nancy was going to give her a makeover.  Elina had her hair done and Nancy applied the makeup. Elina had a dress she brought from Finland made by her mother from cloth by a famous Finnish designer, Marimekko. It was a beautiful dress.

I applied Elina's make up in my room

Elina all dolled up, with Dad

"Finally, the time came when Elina's date arrived. When he walked in the door I'm sure he was amazed at how beautiful she looked!

"Elina never talked much about anything so we don't know what happened at the dance, but we think she had a good time.

"As children, Nancy and Tom had always received a weekly allowance as an incentive to do their chores around the house and to learn how to handle money. When Elina joined our family she was also given chores and an allowance. Washing, drying and putting away the dishes after a meal was a chore that was given to both Nancy and Elina.

"At first Elina washed and Nancy dried, but Elina was so meticulous and slow that Nancy got frustrated and they changed jobs. Nancy was able to rush through washing them and leave as Elina dried and but them away. Elina was unhappy about that! They acted just like sisters.

Elina and Tom, Christmas 1969

"Besides the allowance, Elina was also sent money from her parents in Finland. She had saved all year and one day told me that her goal was to buy a 35 mm camera. So one day I took her to Dunn's Camera Shop in Royal Oak. I did not know very much about cameras but after I explained what Elina wanted the salesman told me he had one in stock and would sell it at a very good price. When Elina saw it she said it was exactly what she wanted. I think the prices was $125 and Elina agreed to buy it. I have always thought the photographs Elina takes are of professional quality.

"Then the day came for Elina to return to Finland. All the exchange students in the are were to meet and spend time together and prepare to return home. The location they were to meet at was the Saginaw Valley College at Saginaw, Michigan, about an hour and half ride away. We loaded Elina's things into the car and Elina, Joyce, Nancy, Tom and I drove to the college. We unloaded Elina's things and said goodbye. As we drove away we looked back and saw Elina standing all alone by the curb, watching us leave, and we wondered what she was thinking. No one spoke as we drove home.

I am sure that when Elina returned home to Finland she had many stories to tell of "those crazy Americans" and I am sure she was surprised how tall her brothers had grown.

Elina and Jorma Kivila wedding photograph

"In 1977 Elina married Jorma Kivila. They met at university.

"During the summer of 1977, Elina and Jorma flew to Michigan to visit us on their honeymoon. Joyce and I picked them up from the Metropolitan Airport near Detroit. It was dark but on the way home I could see Eina pointing out overpasses and other sights in the rear view mirror. We had an eighteen foot, above ground swimming pool in our back yard and they spent much time sunbathing and swimming.

Tom, Gene, Joyce and Jorma eating his first corn on the cob

"During the weeks that Elina and Jorma stayed with us we took them to the Detroit Zoo, Cranbrook, Frankenmuth, and to visit relatives.

"Our daughter was married and lived with her husband in Philadelphia, PA. Our plans were that Elina and Jorma would stay with them before returning home.

"On the first day of our trip to Philadelphia, we stopped at Sea World near Cedar Point in Ohio. We drove the Ohio turnpike to the Pennsylvania Turnpike. As it was approaching evening, we started looking for a motel and found a Sheraton that was about halfway to our destination. It was a beautiful building that was located on a hill overlooking a valley. We were lucky to get two adjoining rooms with a door between so we could all be near each other. There was a game room, a swimming pool and hot tub, and a great restaurant.

"While we were driving through the mountains Elina excitedly asked us to stop. I pulled over and she jumped out of the car and ran back down the road. We found that she wanted to get a photo of the valley below.

Elina in Pennsylvania

"We stopped at an Amish farm in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. it was open to the public and we walked through the house and farm seeing how the Amish lived. They had horses and oxen for field work, made their own clothes, butter, and cheese, and drove a horse and buggy. They were hard working, good business people.

Gene, Jorma and Elina in Philadelphia

Tom and Gene on left; Gary, Nancy, and Joyce in background;
Elina on right in Philadelphia

Our son Tom had worked since he was fifteen and saved much of his money. He joined a Finnish-American organization and learned a little of the language. In 1978 he joined a group that were flying to Finland. He stayed with Elina and her family and went on trips around Finland. He went with Elina's brothers to northern Finland, called Lapland."

Tom with Elina and her brothers in Finland