Our Family Hosts an Exchange Student

Mariana, Gary, me and Chris at a church dinner

When I was a senior in high school my family hosted an exchange student from Finland, Elina Salmi. Elina and her brothers were all exchange students, and Elina wanted her children to have the exchange student experience also.

Christmas 1998. My brother, Chris, Gary, Marianna, and Dad.

In spring of 1998 she contacted me. Her daughter Marianna was going to be an exchange student the coming school year. And she wanted us to host her! We said yes.

Chris and Marianna at a church party

Our son was starting Fifth Grade. Marianna was in the senior class at Sexton High School in Lansing. Our church had quite a few Sexton teachers, and many of our youth were students there.

Marianna under the quilt I made her.

Marianna was much like her mother, but with a more pronounced streak of Finnish stubborness. Whereas her mother was the youngest in her family, Marianna was the eldest child. Chris, of course, was an only child so it was an adjustment for him to have someone older in the house. As it should be, before the year was out I was experienced with sibling rivalry, ploys for attention, small fights, and the exasperation of shopping with a picky teenage girl.

Marianna helping with Vacation Bible School, June 1999.

The church embraced Marianna as one of their own. And she made friends with a great group of teenage girls at church. The youth group leaders, Opal and Tim Hanson, were wonderful friends to Marianna.

Marianna with Danielle and Michelle

At Sexton she pushed herself into uncomfortable areas, becoming involved with the school plays.

Marianna played the flute in church service.

Marianna played her flute at church

We couldn't travel as much as my family did with Elina, but we did go on local visits such as Frankenmuth, the Potter Park Zoo, the state capital, and to the ledges of Grand Ledge.

Chris and Marianna at Grand Ledge

And my dad and brother took Marianna and Chris with them to the cabin and exploring 'up north.' We also frequently visited Dad's place.

Dad repaired pin ball machines in his early retirement.
Dad and Marianna at Dad's house.

Dad, Chris, Marianna and Tom at Dad's house

Marianna went to Cedar Point with the Youth Group.

Marianna and Opal Hanson

And she went to the prom.

Dressed for the prom: Marianna, right, next to Danielle to her left

We held a big ice cream sundae party at the parsonage.

Boys from the church

Michelle, Danielle, and Marianna

Chris and his best friend

Mariana's senior graduation was at held the Wharton Center.

When packing up, Marianna had accumulated so many souvineers we had to ship a box of her things to Finland.

Back in Finland, Marianna went through her last year of high school and studied in Germany. She held a series of jobs, but when the economy tanked her employer closed.

She became active in a church group where she met a man who became her husband. In 2014 they came to Baltimore to study at their denomination's headquarters and visited us for a few days.

Kimmo Huovila and Marianna's wedding photo

Kimmo and Marianna on their visit, Thanksgiving 2014

Marianna's brother and sister also became exchange students to the U.S., but we did not host them. We thought that Elina's children should experience more than one American family and place!

Mariana's brother was hosted by a Michigan family and they spent a day visiting
with us in Lansing. Marcus with Dad and Tom.

Marianna has traveled across Europe including St. Petersburg and Budepest and she has visited Shenyang, China.

Marianna in China

Summer 1970: A Time of Transition

Me, June 1970, wearing a woven bark bead necklace from Finland
and a culotte dress in a very 1970s print.

Graduation was exciting. I wrote I had "reached success" because I had made so many friends and was "surrounded by love and friendship." The whirl of parties and people kept me high. I saw old friends and made new ones who I would never see again. There were guitars and singing, TPing trips, dancing, and swimming.

Everywhere I went I saw Kimball kids. Cars honked and hands waved. I had come to Royal Oak knowing no one. Now it was home.

I wrote free association in my diary, writing about feeling in limbo:

"I am held in mid-air,
not a part of  Kimball, the past
my loves and friends,
not a part of tomorrow and college.

I am ended.
I am waiting.
I will begin again,
seven weeks from now.

I must leave behind
my childhood."

And another time I wrote,

"I am leaving
torn again, part left behind
     part to travel onward—
I am pierced
       broken
        between time."

The summer of 1970 brought my first job, the loss of my exchange student sister, and a boy.

This magazine ad was my inspiration
I had it on my bedroom wall.

When I graduated from high school my mom was 38 years old. Dad was 39. My brother was 10. And I was still 17. We all had summer birthdays.

My family around Christmas 1969

On July 23 I helped Elina pack her suitcase. Uta and Elina's best friend Paula came to our house for dinner and then we went out for ice cream. The next day we drove Elina to Saginaw Valley College where all the Michigan exchange students were gathered before flying home. I wrote,

Mom teaching Paula to jitterbug

"July 24, 1970, Friday
We got up early— Went to Saginaw Valley College.  All night I had recalled waiting for Elina to arrive, her late plane; and now we walked in the fine rain under gray, crying skies, to take her on her way home.
The dorm room was nice—small but pleasant. Her roommate was a Swedish girl, peculiar, a hopeful writer, nice. We talked. They’ll be busy & have fun.
She [Elina] saw Hannah [another Finnish girl] and her girlfriend from Rovaniemi. The other girl turned, crying, her family moving off in a white car.
Mom said goodbye to Elina, then I. Elina was tearless, smiling, cheerful. We got in the car and drove off, waving.
Mom had her tears before we left, crying on Elina’s shoulder.
Dad later cried, on his bed.
Tom wouldn’t kiss her goodbye.
I walked into what had been Elina's room, opened the windows. I wondered what to do with the remnants, and then I cried."

Elina, Lancer 1970 photo

I needed to find a job. I first was hired for a job in telephone sales making $1.60 an hour but was looking for something better. I applied for jobs at the Main Theater and other places, but really wanted the job at Barney's, the Save-On drug store at Crooks and 13 Mile Road. I had often stopped there on my way home from school to buy a notebook, magazine, or paperback book.

I got the Barney's job as a cashier at the front register. Dad taught me how to count change back to the customer. One day a man pulled the old trick of trying to confuse the cashier. He gave me a twenty dollar bill and I gave him change. He then decided he wanted me to return the twenty and he'd return the change and asked me to give him different denominations back. I don't know if he was successful but I recall being confused.

On July 29 I wrote,

"I am officially 18, though, because of saying it’s my age for months—I feel like I’ve been 18 all year.
Uta’s leaving after tomorrow.  Alta’s coming over tonight.
I am sad—read many sad things today: Thomas Mann's Little Herr Friedemann, The Big Eye--sci-fi short stories, Mausappant. etc.
I am 18 & Mom says I’m 'on my own'. I miss Kimball. I’m anxious for Adrian."

My old beau contacted us to say he had married his girlfriend, the girl we had broken up over, several weeks previous.

On August 3 I wrote that Uta's American Mom said that Uta 'cried terribly' upon parting.

The upside of working at Barney's was seeing so many Kimball kids. But I felt I was living in a 'shadow land', with high school in my past and college in the future.

On August 15 I bought a new coat at Fields in Royal Oak. I was gathering what I needed for college.

There was a partial eclipse of the moon on August 16 and we saw the Northern Lights. Dad always knew about these things and made sure we saw them.

On August 18 I talked with my Adrian roommate on the phone. I was disappointed because she was interested only in coordinating the dorm room with matching bed spreads. I wanted to know if we had mutual interests and might be friends. The college 'matched' roommates, and in a superficial way we were 'compatible.' We were both active in school. I had been in journalism and choir and had an exchange student. She was class secretary and on Homecoming court. Quite different backgrounds!

On August 26 My friend Alta came to my house with her childhood friend, who was visiting the area with his friend Jim. I wrote that I had on bell bottom jeans, a flag t-shirt, bare feet, with my hair held back in a clip.

It appeared Alta had told Jim about me. We talked about authors and books. I was surprised when Jim started quoting from Romeo and Juliet, holding my hand, and then he kissed me. Things were going awfully fast for a first meeting. I was a little starry eyed but also suspicious.

He returned a few days later and had his brother take a photo of us together. He made it clear he wanted to have a long distance relationship. We had fun together and unlike any boy before, we did share a love of poetry, writing, and the arts. But I wondered if he was 'snowing' me. And why would someone settle for a long distance relationship?

So I went off to college with a 'boyfriend,' someone I barely knew, who had a girl in his hometown but was talking about plans for 'our future.' I was doubtful about the whole relationship. I warned that I was not going to be tied down, that in college I hoped to met many new people and expected he would date, too.

I kept in mind a line from a favorite poem by Robert Hillyer: “Illusion shatters, the idea is much more ruthless than the real." I did not want to jump into a relationship that was not based on really knowing each other. I'd been down that road before.

College represented a journey of growth and further knowledge of the world.

In my diary I quoted Ecclesiastes,

I have acquired great wisdom, surpassing all who were over Jerusalem before me; and my mind has had great experience of wisdom and knowledge, and I applied my mind to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this is also but a striving after wind.  For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases wisdom, increases sorrow. (Ecclesiastes, 16-18).

Then I added, "It may be true, but such is my vanity that I want to obtain much knowledge and be wise, and discover much truth, and hence I’m off to college."

I had written on my college application that I wanted to understand the Big Picture, how history and the present, the physical world and the created world, all linked together. I had great curiosity. I applied as a teaching major, too unsure to say "writer." I had thought about teaching since junior high school when I was Mrs. Hayden's class. I had 'taught' my little brother, taught friends guitar chords and piano, and personally loved school. I liked understanding something and translating what I had learned to share with others.

In my diary I wrote, "I want to go to college for the potential friendships that may come in the small college atmosphere. I plan to meet and know many people, branding some with the name of 'friend'. I want to finish my learning and want nothing to hinder it. I have many football games and concerts to attend, and many friendships to establish and keep fueled, and much to learn and to become."

I bought this wristwatch. 

I had a Hot Pot, the plastic case 'Mustang' Hi-Fi my folks bought me at K-Mart for Christmas in 1967, a Love Story poster from Jim, my Kimball class ring and the gold cross from Confirmation, my Charlie the Tuna wristwatch, and my books including Pascal's Pensees, poetry books by Stephen Crane and Robert Hillyer, my leather bound Confirmation presentation Bible, and You Can't Go Home Again by Thomas Wolfe. I had my high school skirts and sweaters, the tiger stripe fur hat from Dorothy and Kathy, a poncho with Astrology signs, and bell bottom jeans.

Best of all I had confidence and hope.

Here I am out in the woods with Dad

Dad's Memoir On His Exchange Student Daughter

Elina in Lapland costume
at her family home in Rovaniemi

Dad wrote about our year with Elina Salmi, the Finnish exchange student who lived with us during my senior year at Kimball High School. I know he enjoyed being her host dad, showing her America and the world he loved.

"Elina Comes to America

"Although Elina had studied the English language at her school in Finland, we soon learned that we should talk slowly so she could translate in her mind what we were saying. At first Elina talked very little, so we never knew what she was thinking. We soon learned that Finns showed little emotion.

"The first meal we had as a family was eaten in our dining room. We had corn on the cob and hot dogs. Elina later told us that she had never had corn before and thought it was only fed to pigs.

"Elina loved fruit, a food that was not too available in Finland. When Joyce went shopping she would buy apples and bananas along with the other food she thought would last a week. Elina liked the bananas so much.

"One day Elina spent some time in the kitchen and baked us a Finnish desert with many layers, and reminded me of Danish pastry. It was very good.

"In the small town in northern Finland where Elina lived the local TV stations did not have many channels and most of the programs were not of interest to her. The few American programs she saw were like The Addams Family or Green Acres, so she thought Americans must be very weird.


"Like now in our country, most of the programs on Saturday morning were for children and Elina would lay on the living room floor and watch them. But after a few weeks, I noticed she no longer watched them and I asked her why. She said, "those programs are for little children." I think, though, that she learned more about the English language watching them than any other thing. To me, it seemed that she had gone through an accelerated stage that American children go through.

Elina joined our family during the month of July, 1969. We had a 16' above ground swimming pool in our back yard and she spent much time enjoying the sun and the water.

"Anita called us one day and asked if we could take one more student for a weekend, and we said we would. He was an exchange student from Brazil and he told us that his father owned a shoe factory. I suspect his family was fairly rich because they had maids and servants.

Me, the Brazilian exchange student, and Elina

"During that summer we took a trip to Tonawanda, New York where we stayed with my sister Alice and her family, husband Ken, son Dave, and daughter Beverly. While we were there I wanted to show Elina the area so we went to see Niagara Falls. Joyce did not go along so there was just Nancy, Tom, Elina and I.


"I drove to the Canadian side and we went to the Maid of the Mist dock. I parked the car and we walked down to the building to buy the tickets. The gave us rain gear to put on. When we got onto the boat it was so crowded we had a hard time finding a place along the railing to see the Falls. The water was thrashing and white with foam, and the closer we got to the Falls, the harder the wind blew and the heavier the mist.

Dad's photo of the Maid of the Mist

"As I looked up at the Falls, the boat rocked, and suddenly my back gave out and I sunk to my knees. So here I am, kneeling on the pitching deck, and nobody even saw me. When I tried to get up I could not stand straight. When we got back to the deck I was in pain and had to walk bent over up the hill to the car. I felt bad that this would ruin our day but I thought I would make the best of it and drove to a parking lot near the Falls. I parked there and sat in the car while the others went to observe the Falls from the brink.

"On the way back to my sister's house I drove through the Tonawanda Indian Reservation and the Niagara Power Plant.

"Once back at Alice's house I lay on the floor but I could not get comfortable A friend of ours, Kate Marvin, was a nurse and since it was a Sunday she was home. Joyce called her and she came over and gave me some muscle relaxer pills. Thanks to the pills and a good night's sleep the next morning I could stand straight.


"Kimball High School in Royal Oak, Michigan was the school that Nancy and Elina attended their senior year. There were four exchange students attending Kimball that year. Uta Schnubbe, a girl from Germany, Myrna Guerra from Chile, Toshihiko Fukuyama from Japan, and Elina Salmi from Finland.

Dad and Mom fall of 1969

"In those days exchange students were given free tuition, admission to all school activities, yearbooks, books, graduation gowns and pictures, and supplies. Their classmates ran various fund raising projects for money so the exchange students could go on a ski trip in Michigan, and a trip to Washington, D.C.

"Occasionally all the students would come to the house and tell of their experiences and also about their families and their country.f

Dad with Tosh

"Tosh was the nickname given to the Japanese student. His family lived in Tokyo and he said that the smog was very bad there. He told us that the dream of a Japanese student was to go to Tokyo
University. It was so competitive that many would not be able to enroll until they were 28 or 29 years old.

"Uta came from Germany. her father had a high position as a church pastor. When she went back to Germany she went to university and then became a judge.

"Myrna came from Chile and her family lived at the Southern end of the country near Terra del Fuego. Not long after she arrived it was found she had T.B. and was placed in a sanitarium in Pontiac, MI. One day we went to visit her and told her how bad we felt because of all the experiences she was missing. But she said "Don't feel bad for me. Back home my parents could not have afforded to send me to a hospital and I would not have been treated." We felt better after that.

"Elina's family lived a Rovaniemi, Finland, a small town located on the Arctic Circle. Her mother was an inorganic chemist. Her father worked for the Finnish government overseeing the lumber camps in northern Finland. Elina's brothers were Jaako, Juha, and Risto.

"At the corner of our street, Houstonia, and Main Street was an apartment building where the Brehm family lived. Ruth and Bud were the parents and their children were Pam and Steve. Bud sold broasters and broilers to restaurants throughout the state of Michigan. He had a trailer with a broiler on it that he used for demonstrations to new customers. The machine used hot oil to cook the chicken.

"Once a year during the summer we would arrange with our neighbors on our block to have a party either at Gordon McNab's house or our back yard. There were about ten families and we would all pay Ruth a few dollars for the chicken, and the night before the party she would marinate and prepare it. With the side dishes and pop and beer in the tubs full of ice, the hot broasted chicken completed the feast. Later in the evening we might put on some music and dance in the driveway, or go into the house and sing as Gordon played the piano.

"Once during a party at Gordon's house, all the adults and children were dancing on the driveway when Nancy said she lost her contact lens. Everyone stopped where they were and dropped on their knees to search for it. Luckily, no one stepped on it and it was eventually found.

"Block parties were something Elina had never seen and she enjoyed them very much. Afterward, she thought, "these crazy Americans!"

"Elina brought a box of chocolate from Finland for us, and it was delicious. I would buy chewing gum for her like Clove, Black Jack, and Wrigleys and let her try American drinks like milkshakes, malts, hot chocolate, and sundaes. I think she took much of the gum back to Finland when she went home. I found out also that most Finns don't like peanut butter because when she went home she took some for her brothers to try and they said it stuck to the roof of their mouths.

Elina's Halloween costume 

"Since we wanted Elina to experience different things in our country Joyce and Nancy gathered a few things to make a costume for Elina to go trick and treating with Tom. When they returned home Elina was very excited because of all the candy she had collected.

"Kimball High allowed the senior class to wear a costume at Halloween to school. A neighbor, Sharon Owens, made a pilgrim costume for Nancy and Joyce dyed it gray. Elina wore her native Finnish costume.

Elina and I dressed for Halloween 

"Once school began everyone was very busy. Joyce helped Elina with her English and history classes, and I helped her with Chemistry. Luckily Tom and Nancy were not jealous of all the time we spent working with her.

"We took Elina to a church at Farmington where they had a service spoken in the Finnish language, and to a Finnish American organization where she met many Finns that asked her questions about their native country.

"During the winter Elina went on a ski trip in northern Michigan and spent the day at the Madison Heights city hall observing how the city was run. There was Youth for Understanding meeting with students and their American parents, football games, and a concert that Nancy sang in.

"At the beginning of the school year Nancy and Elina had to walk to school. Elina was always slow to get moving in the morning. If Elina was not ready in the morning when it was time to go, Nancy would say, "I'm going" and starting walking down the street. Elina would run out the door with her books and a half-eaten apple in one arm, her coat dragging down the other.

"Then [in late December] Nancy got her driver's license and she drove one of our cars. Soon the school year was half over and Christmas was approaching.

Elina and Tom at Christmas 1969

"The school year was passing fast and soon it was time to be thinking about the Senior dance. Elina's classmates provided her with a date since she didn't have a boyfriend. His name was Rick and he was a junior and on the football team. He was very nice.

"Nancy at that time did not have a boyfriend and would not be going to the dance. But she took pleasure in preparing Elina. Elina never wore makeup and had a tomboy appearance. So Nancy was going to give her a makeover.  Elina had her hair done and Nancy applied the makeup. Elina had a dress she brought from Finland made by her mother from cloth by a famous Finnish designer, Marimekko. It was a beautiful dress.

I applied Elina's make up in my room

Elina all dolled up, with Dad

"Finally, the time came when Elina's date arrived. When he walked in the door I'm sure he was amazed at how beautiful she looked!

"Elina never talked much about anything so we don't know what happened at the dance, but we think she had a good time.

"As children, Nancy and Tom had always received a weekly allowance as an incentive to do their chores around the house and to learn how to handle money. When Elina joined our family she was also given chores and an allowance. Washing, drying and putting away the dishes after a meal was a chore that was given to both Nancy and Elina.

"At first Elina washed and Nancy dried, but Elina was so meticulous and slow that Nancy got frustrated and they changed jobs. Nancy was able to rush through washing them and leave as Elina dried and but them away. Elina was unhappy about that! They acted just like sisters.

Elina and Tom, Christmas 1969

"Besides the allowance, Elina was also sent money from her parents in Finland. She had saved all year and one day told me that her goal was to buy a 35 mm camera. So one day I took her to Dunn's Camera Shop in Royal Oak. I did not know very much about cameras but after I explained what Elina wanted the salesman told me he had one in stock and would sell it at a very good price. When Elina saw it she said it was exactly what she wanted. I think the prices was $125 and Elina agreed to buy it. I have always thought the photographs Elina takes are of professional quality.

"Then the day came for Elina to return to Finland. All the exchange students in the are were to meet and spend time together and prepare to return home. The location they were to meet at was the Saginaw Valley College at Saginaw, Michigan, about an hour and half ride away. We loaded Elina's things into the car and Elina, Joyce, Nancy, Tom and I drove to the college. We unloaded Elina's things and said goodbye. As we drove away we looked back and saw Elina standing all alone by the curb, watching us leave, and we wondered what she was thinking. No one spoke as we drove home.

I am sure that when Elina returned home to Finland she had many stories to tell of "those crazy Americans" and I am sure she was surprised how tall her brothers had grown.

Elina and Jorma Kivila wedding photograph

"In 1977 Elina married Jorma Kivila. They met at university.

"During the summer of 1977, Elina and Jorma flew to Michigan to visit us on their honeymoon. Joyce and I picked them up from the Metropolitan Airport near Detroit. It was dark but on the way home I could see Eina pointing out overpasses and other sights in the rear view mirror. We had an eighteen foot, above ground swimming pool in our back yard and they spent much time sunbathing and swimming.

Tom, Gene, Joyce and Jorma eating his first corn on the cob

"During the weeks that Elina and Jorma stayed with us we took them to the Detroit Zoo, Cranbrook, Frankenmuth, and to visit relatives.

"Our daughter was married and lived with her husband in Philadelphia, PA. Our plans were that Elina and Jorma would stay with them before returning home.

"On the first day of our trip to Philadelphia, we stopped at Sea World near Cedar Point in Ohio. We drove the Ohio turnpike to the Pennsylvania Turnpike. As it was approaching evening, we started looking for a motel and found a Sheraton that was about halfway to our destination. It was a beautiful building that was located on a hill overlooking a valley. We were lucky to get two adjoining rooms with a door between so we could all be near each other. There was a game room, a swimming pool and hot tub, and a great restaurant.

"While we were driving through the mountains Elina excitedly asked us to stop. I pulled over and she jumped out of the car and ran back down the road. We found that she wanted to get a photo of the valley below.

Elina in Pennsylvania

"We stopped at an Amish farm in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. it was open to the public and we walked through the house and farm seeing how the Amish lived. They had horses and oxen for field work, made their own clothes, butter, and cheese, and drove a horse and buggy. They were hard working, good business people.

Gene, Jorma and Elina in Philadelphia

Tom and Gene on left; Gary, Nancy, and Joyce in background;
Elina on right in Philadelphia

Our son Tom had worked since he was fifteen and saved much of his money. He joined a Finnish-American organization and learned a little of the language. In 1978 he joined a group that were flying to Finland. He stayed with Elina and her family and went on trips around Finland. He went with Elina's brothers to northern Finland, called Lapland."

Tom with Elina and her brothers in Finland

Having Too Much Fun, Nancy (Nearly) Skips Senior Sorrow

Early summer of 1969 I was changing bedrooms again. My family was hosting an exchange student, Elina Salmi from Finland. We girls would have the two upstairs bedrooms.

My senior picture

Having a sister was a new experience. By the end of the year we were really acting like siblings. I wasn't jealous of all the attention Mom gave Elina, helping her to adjust to an American school, learning English, and dealing with homesickness. I was too busy.

Elina Salmi, my Finnish exchange student sister. October 1969.

Me, October 1969

Our family was never more active. Mom kept us on the go. She also kept a diary of everything we did this year. Several years before his death Dad compiled an album of photos about Elina. So with my diaries and scrapbook the year is well documented!

On August 22 at 2 am Elina Salmi arrived at Metro Detroit airport from Finland. My family was excited and talkative, unaware that Elina knew English but we were speaking too fast. She was tired and overwhelmed.

Elina was from Rovaniemi on the Arctic Circle. She had never seen anything like the expressway with so many lanes and bridges, Detroit's skyscrapers, or the endless city that extended down Woodward Ave into Royal Oak. It was overwhelming to her.

My family kept her on the go those first weeks. I took Elina to the outdoor dance at the ice rink. We went to Stony Creek and went swimming. We dined with my Ramer grandparents. Elina, Tom, and Dad went fishing one morning and we all went to Belle Isle in the afternoon. We had a party for Elina to meet my friends. We went to the Detroit Zoo.

On Labor Day my family held a BBQ picnic in the back yard with burgers and hot dogs, potato salad, and corn on the cob. Elina was baffled by the corn, she later told us. All she knew was that Donald Duck's nephews fed corn on the cob to pigs! She thought we were feeding her pig food!

We went to the movies at the Main Street Theater, to see a ball game at Tiger Stadium, and bought cider at Yates Cider Mill. There was a block party and I lost a contact in the grass.What a whirlwind of activity!

Herald article on the exchange students. I wrote about Elina.

I became friends with the other exchange students that year: Uta Schnubbe from Hanover, Germany; Toshihiko Fukuyama from Mikata-Gun Hyogo-ken, Japan; and Mirna Guerra from Punta Arenas, Chile.

Tosh and Uta, 1970 Lancer photo

Tosh taught us to enjoy rice crackers with seaweed. He missed his Saki. Mirna discovered she had TB and spent much her year in a sanitarium in Pontiac. Uta's father was pastor of a large Lutheran church. She became a judge and in 1975 she and her husband returned for a visit and we met up at my folk's house.

Me and Uta in 1975.  The photo is very faded.
I was wearing a bright green outfit I'd sewn.

Over the summer I had been still grieving over the breakup with my boyfriend but I was determined to push forward. In the fall I saw him at an event with his girlfriend and I realized I was over him. I had my crushes over the year, but at this point, I was enjoying friendships and flirtations with boys without feeling bad about not having a boyfriend.

Me, Dad and Tom at my Ramer Grandparent's house

My friends were applying to college and I realized if I really wanted to go to college I had better do something about it. I told my mom and she talked to my dad. Although Dad did not see the point of a girl having a college education, and Mom only had wanted to be a wife and mother, they agreed to support me.

On September 24 I talked to my counselor Mr. Stafford about going to college. He thought Oakland Community College was my only option because of my grades. But he worked hard on my behalf.

In September I went to a football game on a date. My little brother went with the Stephens--the Kimball Principal's family! October 9 I took my brother and Elina to the Kimball-Dondero bonfire and we went to Pasquale's for pizza afterward.

For Senior Halloween Day I wore a pilgrim dress made by our neighbor and Elina wore her Finnish traditional costume.

Elina in her Finnish dress, Joe the cat, and me as a Pilgrim

The last football game of the year was a blast, with a party afterward at Tosh's host family's home, but I was sad knowing I would never attend another Kimball football game.

Dad would sometimes pick me up at school in his old red pickup truck. Frankly, I was embarrassed as no one else had a dad with a red pickup truck coming to get them. One day some boys asked if he would help them move the Kimball Rock! I wrote that he'd broken his finger and didn't help.

October 15 was the nationwide Moratorium protesting the Vietnam War with a demonstration at Memorial Park in Royal Oak.

Herald front page article on the anti-war protest at Memorial Park, RO

Me, Grandpa Ramer, and Elina in Gramps basement

On October 22 my Grandfather Ramer was hospitalized after his first heart attack. I visited him in the hospital. He was strangely quiet and internal. I was afraid he was going to die. There was so much I wanted to know. I was thinking about becoming a teacher. He had taught high school and currently was teaching at Lawrence Tech. Gramps survived, gave up smoking, and started walking to the Berkley post office to mail the numerous letters he sent all over the country.

official rules of PAC

On October 29 PAC (Political Action Club) had a meet the candidate night. Dad and Elina came with me.

Tribune article on the PAC Meet the Candidate night

My folks had a costume Halloween party. Mom loved a party.

Actually a 1967 photo of me with dad dressed
for Halloween as a blond 'Castro' 

On Nov. 26 at 6:30 we left for a trip to Tonawanda. We visited with Grama Gochenour and Uncle Ken and Aunt Alice Ennis; Skip and Katie Marvin; and our old neighbors John and Lucille Kuhn and Alma Ensminger.

On Thanksgiving Day we went to Niagara Falls then the entire family gathered for dinner that evening. The next day we visited mom's lifelong friend Doris Waterson and her family and Dad's uncle Lee Becker and his family including my cousin Debbie. Uncle Lee was a volunteer fireman and he took us for a ride on the Grand Island fire truck.

The following day we drove to Allegheny and visited Putt's farm and my Guenther cousins and their parents who had built a cabin there.

We left Buffalo in a blizzard but drove out of bad weather after three hours. We came through the Detroit Tunnel and drove around downtown Detroit to see the Christmas lights.

I was proud to have been accepted into the A Capella Choir. The choir photo was taken on December 2. I wrote, "A- choir pic today: on stage we had to change some robes around for length. We broke out into a chorus of “The Stripper” and about 5 boys came running to the auditorium door to see what was going on."

A Capella Choir. I am in the second row, five from the right.

December 19 was my last Holiday Concert followed by an A Capella party. It had been a highlight of my year and I looked forward to the multi-choir piece and the moving concert final piece O Holy Night.

In the spring the choir sang popular songs: San Antone Rose, Blue World, and Cecelia. During the year we also sang Black is the Color of my True Love’s Hair, the Cornish folk song I Love My Love, and “Hospdi Paolime, a Russian Chant."

My senior photos were taken on Dec. 15, the day my brother's American anole died. He had bought it at the circus. "It was a dreadful procedure. Tom and I pushing it toward life all the way. But it was past all help. Shriveled, splotchy coloring, weak—suddenly it was motionless, its convulsive breathing stopped, its eyes glassy and staring." It used to sleep on my shoulder under my long hair. One night it curled up in my scarf and I didn't remember it until bedtime.

On December 27 we had a party with the exchange students.

Dad and Tosh, Elina, me at the piano with Mirna

Mirna from Chile turning the page as I played Christmas Carols 

I realized high school would soon be over and I cherished every moment. I wrote," It’s all so sad—the beauty found in the littlest things—like singing a song in the cafeteria with the jukebox. Everyone sang. Everyone."

I continued, "I’ll find sorrow in the beauty of parting, for I have been in the process of parting since I came here. And it is all so sad to know that soon I’ll have lost the greatest beauty I have ever known—this life, this school—the singing of songs, and the clapping of hands, the worn books, the every crevice of this building—I will lose it."

I got my driver's license in December and started driving to school. I had to fill the gas tank half full in return for using Mom's car. That took a good chunk out of my $2 a week allowance!

My typical comp grade!

On winter morning Mom asked me to drive Tom and the neighbor boys to Northwood Elementary. It was icy and I fishtailed, scaring the boys and myself.

I was in Composition. On August 12 Miss Young asked who my favorite writers were and I answered J.D. Salinger, John Steinbeck, Thomas Hardy, and Thomas Wolfe. She often liked my content, but I consistently received a lower grade because of my bad spelling.

1969-70 Herald Staff, Lancer photo. I am in the first row, far right.

I was writing poetry and sharing it in composition class and in the Herald. My girlfriend even sent some of my poetry to her boyfriend at college. It was pretty awful, derivative stuff.

Poetry page in the Herald. I was still imitating Stephen Crane.

Another of my Herald poems

In speech class, I discovered I could keep my composure while giving a speech, but once I sat down I shook with nerves. Government class with Mr. Meraw and Mr. Poppovitch ended the year with a mock campaign and election. We had a blast.

my government class photo from the Lancer yearbook

I had Novel class and read a lot of contemporary fiction for young adults. And World Lit with Mr. Botens. He handed out excerpts printed on mimeograph paper. I would go to the library and get the book the selections--Thomas Aquinas, Pascal, Candide by Voltaire--and read the originals. I wrote, "I’ve been reading Pascal and Schopenhaur.  And Dante & Gogol (Russian, Dead Souls)" On January 23 I wrote, "Mr. B gave a great lecture. Mike M., Cindy, Diane B. and I stayed after to tell him how great his course was. I nearly cried."

I enjoyed Physical Geography with Mr. Wall. Grampa Ramer was always talking about geography and geology and oceanography. We would take a trip through the Irish Hills and he would point out the kettles and moraines left by glaciers. In the early 60s, Gramps was interested in 'the next ice age' and even had a local television channel air him talking about his theory of diverting the Gulf Stream away from the Arctic to prevent the melting of the ice.

I tried Music Theory but quickly changed to Music Appreciation. That course and Art Appreciation were a breeze. To this day I can tell the composer of a symphonic work or the artists of a painting right off.

I was reading about 10 books a month. In my diary I mention reading Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury, The Web and the Rock by Thomas Wolfe, Tell Me That You Love Me Junie Moon by Marjorie Kellogg, and John Steinbeck's Tortilla Flat. I wrote, "Ever read Frank Yerby?  Try his Odor of Sanctity, –I think you’ll like it, because it bears a resemblance to Avalon. Just as exciting, moving and unbelievable!"

I surprised myself by doing well on the ACT and SAT. But, I had been turned down by Alma, Central, and Albion. My counselor kept trying.

In February I learned that Adrian College had accepted me, along with my friends Nancy B., whose dad worked with my dad at Chrysler, and Lynn Martin, my friend since 8th grade. Adrian is a United Methodist college that still specializes in students who are the first in their family to go to college.

On February 26 the Political Action Club took a trip to Lansing. We had a tour of the museum and the Capital, visiting the beautiful Senate room.

In March my first boyfriend came to visit and took me to see his folks. It was the last time I would ever see him.

Also in March, The A Capella Choir went to Walled Lake for a Festival where we had to sight-read before judges.We scored top on all events!

I went on a date to the National Honor Society Hootenanny, flew kites with my Herald staff friend (and fellow New Yorker) Margie B., and visited my Girl's Choir friend Carol F. at her Oakland University dorm for a weekend. 

In April, Elina and I went to the All School Party, to the school play with a trip to Pasquale's after, and I went to the cast party after the last play. I also bought the Modern Library volume of Pascal's Pensees.

Me, Elina, and Mom at Adrian College, April 1970

On April 24 I visited Adrian along with my parents and Elina. I saw Estes Hall, my future dorm. 

May was eventful.

There was an Environmental Teach-In with tables in the glass hallway with information about ENACT,  Environmental Action for Survival, out of the University of Michigan. I bought a pin reading Give Earth a Change. I've been an environmentalist ever since.Read about the history of ENACT and the first Earth Day here.

On May 7 Kimball students gathered in the courtyard to attempt to lower the flag in protest of Kent State and the U.S. entrance into Cambodia.

Herald photo of student protest in courtyard

Also in May my wallet was stolen from my purse in the girl's lavatory. She took my parking tickets, Modern Dance Show tickets, and driver's license.

The Herald staff celebrated Mr Rosen's birthday with a party; we gave him a monogrammed wallet.

I went to the spring orchestra concert. When the Kimball Symphony Orchestra played music from Carousel, I sang along with “You’ll Never Walk Alone.” A boy I knew from choir jumped up from his seat, came back & said “Mr. L would be proud of you—that was great tone—I could hear you all the way from my chair—“  I stopped singing then.

Our Senior Trip was to Washington D.C. Mom warned me to be good. The sister of a classmate told me to "live it up!" Waiting to leave a boy put his hand through the door.

Waiting for the bus for Washington DC

We arrived in D.C. on May 22. I joined some of my friends in skipping breakfast to see the town. I had never stayed in a hotel before and thought it was pretty fancy. "There were three beds and four girls in our hotel room," I wrote.

On the hotel balcony, Elia in her Marimekko dress.
Shirley, my friend since junior high next to her.

OMG I slept in those? Hanging out in the motel room.

Uta and John Speer living it up

I have no idea what Happyland is, but I wrote that a bunch of us "went thru Happyland & rode on three rides together then came back on the Potomac River, on top of the boat in the damp night air."

Tosh and Shirley during our bus tour of Washington

The next day we toured the city. A group of us girls ate lunch in a restaurant near by because "the All States [cafeteria] was overflowing with kids." We sat at an outdoor table and I had crab cakes and iced coffee. I had enjoyed both when I visited Uncle Dave Ramer and family when I was fourteen. We later heard that some kids got food poisoning at the All States!

Then we went to a used bookstore where I bought Thomas Wolfe's Look Homeward Angel. I really wanted the first edition of You Can't Go Home Again but I didn't have the $15. As it was I had spent most of my money eating with friends at local restaurants instead of the paid meals at the cafeteria, plus we needed to pay for our own lunch at Gettysburg on the way home. Mr. Wall told me he would have bought the book and skipped eating. 

Elina with the camera she bought in America

We stopped at Gettysburg on the way home.

Herald Staffer Martha S. was one of a group wearing a special outfit.
I first met her when we were walking to junior high
and she introduced herself to me.

The trip was fun and educational.

On May 28 my Grandmother Ramer was in the hospital in a lot of pain. This may be when she had her gall bladder operation.

My Ramer grandparents

I picked up my Senior gifts from local retailers, including a “key” necklace from Dobie Jewelers, a key chain from Meyer Jewelers (which fell apart), and a mini cedar chest- from Charles Furniture, which I still have.

We paid 50 cents to wear shorts to school!

Convocation was held on June 2. I received a Herald award based on column inches written.

My contact case, Herald and Choir pins, a Chile pin from Mirna,
Journalism award, and charm bracelet including aKimball high charm and one from Washington D.C.

I was proud to have my name read at Convocation for having been awarded a grant to attend a Michigan private college, based on my ACT score. It covered a quarter of the yearly cost! And, Elina singled me out in her speech, giving me the title of 'the best sister she could have had.'

Elina dressed for the prom
her dress fabric by Finnish designer Marimekko

June 5 was the Prom but I didn't have a date. Elina went with a nice boy on a double date. After I put makeup on Elina and saw her off I went to my friend Julie's house for a sleep over party. We went to Realtor's Park in the night and played on the playground. Years later when I saw teenagers horsing around on a playground I understood why. It was their last hurrah.

June 14 was graduation. When the choir sang “You’ll Never Walk Alone” I cried. Then came all the graduation parties. We had one, too. This year I had made new friends, and kept the old.

Elina, Me and Tom

A few weeks later Elina returned to Finland. We'd had a great year. I was sad to lose my one and only sister. In his late teens my brother went to Finland to visit Elina and her family. When Elina married she brought her husband to visit us in the States. And when Elina's daughter was a senior in high school we hosted her as our exchange student daughter!

My diary for the year ended,
"It is over.

The biggest show on earth

finished."

My room. 

I had a lot to look forward to. I was going to be the first female, and only the second person in my family, to attend college. I couldn't wait.

June 1970 Herald cover