Tomorrow Will Be Different: Love, Loss and the Fight for Trans Equality

"I'm twenty-four, transgender, and a widow...that's a lot for someone in this society to handle." Sarah McBride

In Tomorrow Will Be Different, Sarah McBride shares her personal story as inspiration and to put a face on what it is to be transgender.

Imagine being unable to go into a public restroom in North Carolina without breaking the law. Imagine being unable to change your sex on your state ID, or being unable to keep a job or find housing. Imagine being vilified, ostracized, beaten up, an object of fear.

Nearly fifty years ago my husband 's father's best friend disowned his son when he became a woman. Over the years I heard snippets of the story, how as a child their son loved to play dolls and dress up with his older sisters, how blame was assigned for causing their son's 'problem', the resulting divorce and alienation.

In the 1990s my husband was approached by a teen from his church, an unhappy and angry child. Some thought she was presenting 'butch' because she was not conventionally pretty, assuming she was a 'pretend lesbian'. My husband affirmed her, but the support she needed from the community was not there. She changed her name and moved away. Today I know he was transgender, and I see on his Facebook page a happy, confident, burly guy with a successful career and a sparkle in his eye. I am so happy for him.

I wanted to read Tomorrow Will Be Different by Sarah McBride because I had seen her on television and knew she was an intelligent and lovely person. And I wanted to better understand her experience and the work toward equality for all persons.

The book's preface by Joe Biden is a must read. I recently read his Promise Me, Dad and I heard the same compassion and love in this preface.

McBride was fascinated by American politics since childhood. Meeting Joe Biden was an unforgettable moment. She interned on Beau Biden's first race. McBride was fifteen when she introduced Jack Markell at the launch for his 2006 race for reelection as state treasurer, and at age eighteen when he ran for governor.

During these years, McBride outwardly conformed to the gender role socially acceptable, presenting masculine and even dating. She did not want to let anyone down. But she was miserable.

McBride ran for student president at college to great success and was very popular and led a push to end gender exclusive housing.  In her junior year, with great trepidation, McBride announced being transsexual.

She describes the scene when she came out to her family, her mother in tears. McBride had a gay brother, and her other brother tried to break the ice by announcing, "I'm heterosexual." In a heartwarming scene, McBride tells her fraternity brothers, who enveloped her in an embrace. Beau Biden called her to offer his love and support, as did Joe Biden. The Biden family confirmed her belief that there are still good people in politics.

McBride repeats how lucky and privileged she has been, knowing that most trans persons lack a support system and her advantages. Throughout the book, she shares the devastating statistics behind the transgender experience: high rates of suicide; verbal harassment and physical assault in public restrooms; legal exemptions that allow discrimination; inability to find housing or keep a job.

McBride met the love of her life, Andy, who was a few years older and also trans. Tragedy struck when Andy was diagnosed with cancer and underwent surgery and treatment with McBride providing care and support.

I can't imagine the burden of being twenty-three and watching your beloved struggle with a terminal illness. Both my parents died of cancer, and I was at my Dad's side in the hospital for over two months. My heart broke as I read McBride's story.

Trans rights advanced under President Obama,  then 2016 saw the election of President Trump and Vice President Pence. The gains for equality under the law are being threatened. But McBride has found hope in the young people of our country, those who have been accepted as children for who they are, and who assume that the doors are open to them.

I pray it is so.

I received a free ebook from First to Read in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.

Tomorrow Will Be Different: Love, Loss, and the Fight for Trans Equality
Sarah McBride