Grampa's Memories: Child Play 100 Years Ago

My grandfather Lynne O. Ramer (1903-1971) wrote over 200 articles submitted to his hometown newspaper and shared in Ben Meyer's column We Notice That. This year I will be sharing some of these articles.

Today's article appeared August 2, 1968.

Lynne O. Ramer, left, age eight with his cousin 

Lynne O. Ramer on his mother's lap, age six

Participating, Simple Toys Liked Best by Youngsters

“All work and no play
Makes Jack a dull boy.”
(So said an ancient adage).

“All play and no work
Makes Jack a mere toy.”
(So says more up-to-date sage).

(wnt)

The Incredible Brocks

From the dawn of creation down to now children love to play with toys.  Says a German professor, living in the heart of the world’s toy manufacturing world:

“Children of all ages and all peoples are the same in the aptitudes and their desires, and thus the same in their play urge too. The baby’s rattle, the small child’s ball, the house of bricks (blocks) the toy animal and the doll have changed very little throughout the ages.”

Kids like toys best that enable them to enjoy participation, on their part doing something, instead of watching an intricate gadget that performs of itself.  They would rather play with an old box than with a fancy new toy.

Now and then, in a city large or a village small, a family can exert a powerful influence on all the kids in the neighborhood, helping them to get real pleasure in making their own playthings. One such family was that into which were born three boys---the Brocks. Their names were Robert, Albert and Luther. They lived in Milroy.

It was really fantastic, almost incredible, what a great variety of “do-it-yourself” amusements they devised. And how the neighbor kids loved them for it. They dazzled and delighted all the small fry in the village.

(wnt)

Making Their Own Fun

As he recalled the Brocks, a native Milroyan told us [added in ink: Lynne], it was during the decades 1900 to 1920 that the three boys were the talk of the town.

First they had a home-made merry-go-round with a grand organ that produced music. It was all hand operated, much to the delight of the teens and preteens who flocked, some invited and some not, to come and enjoy the fun.

The play room—we’d call it the recreation room nowadays—was the storage room off the kitchen.  There among the pies and cookies cooked for the family use, but shared with the youngsters who came calling between meals, were the home-made playthings.

There were hand-carved spreading fans inside of Mason jars, continuous chain links carved from one billet of wood. There were two spinning cylinder wire cages housing chipmunks who chattered gaily all day long.

Continuous wood chain by John O. O'Dell

Besides these and dozens of other games to play there were stacks of comic strips from the Williamsport Gazette and the Philadelphia North American. These consisted of the adventures of the Katzenjammer Kids, Jiggs and Maggie [Bringing Up Father], Enoch Periwinkle Pickleweight [The Peaceful Pickleweights], John Dubbalong and the like.*

On a rainy day there would be no less than 10 or 12 little boys deeply at their work-play, reading the old “continued funnies,” grinding the hurdy-gurdy carousel, and intently watching the chippies race around the insides of their wire cylinders.

There were stacks of paperbacks of adventure characters, such as the Liberty Boys of ’76, Jesse James**, Fred Fearnot+*** , and every known Horatio Alger tale--Andy Grant’s Pluck****, From Rags to Riches.

“And so it went for many happy hours or boyhood daze” says one of the guests. “So once more, it’s thanks to Robert, Albert and Luther Brock, not forgetting their doting mother and a kind father who realized how to keep kids happy and busy, making and using their playthings.”

The lessons learned well by the youngsters of that time. Long since grown to manhood and womanhood, is this: “It isn’t necessary to buy one’s children expensive and attractive mechanical toys, but something requiring participation. And never forget children are fondest of things they improvise themselves---cooking pans and saucers, empty thread spools, old tin cans, a handful of bright, shiny horse chestnuts.”

Lynne O. Ramer ("it"), at 6, with his school classmates in Milroy, PA

*****

Genealogy findings:

I researched the Milroy Brock family on Ancestry.com.

The patriarch of the family, James Brown Brock (b. 7-29-1858; d. 3-29-1927) , married Minnie Melissa Maben (1867-1925) in 1889.

The 1900 Census for Armagh, Old District,  shows James was a carpenter. The 1910 Census for Armagh, Old District, shows James, age 52, worked in the stone quary. Minnie, age 43, was mother to Oscar, age 19 and working as a baker; Robert, age 17 and working as a presser in a woolen mill; Albert, age 15 and Luther J., born in 1902.

On the 1920 census James and Minnie lived on College Ave. in Milroy.

James' death record shows his father was Adam Brock and mother Mary was born in Germany.

Minnie Mabin Brock was the daughter of Joseph B. Mayben (1835-1900) and Amanda J. Weimer (1833-1880). Joseph was a private in Co. L, 13th Cav. during the Civil War. Amanda was the daughter of Zachariah Weimer (b. 1809), son of Johannes Weimer (b, 1767 and died in Juniata Co. PA) and Mary Brackbill.

The children in my grandfather's story:

Oscar Ream (1890-1973) has a WWI draft card showing he was a baker living in Ohio. His WWII Draft Registration shows he was married to Mary A. and was self employed.

Robert Earl (1892-1964) married Helen C. The 1920 Census shows they lived in Detroit, MI where Robert worked for a motor company as a tool maker. His WWII Draft Card showed he lived in Jersey Shore, PA and owned his own machine shop.

Son Albert Lowell (1894-1979) enlisted during WWI.

Luther Thomas (1892-1964)  has a draft card for WWII which shows he worked for the Armagh County School Board. Luther died in 1964 and is buried in Woodlawn Cemetery in his hometown of Milroy, PA. along with his parents and siblings.

*****

Footnotes:

The Katzenjammer Kids and Bringing Up Father were read by my grandfather, mom, and I recall they were still running when I was a kid.

* From the July 14, 1915 New York Canisteo Times, found on Old Fulton Postcards:

Famous Family of Pacificists to Enlarge Its Sphere of Operations.

Who has not chuckled over the unending complications in the household of the Pickleweights — Enoch, the plaintive; Maria, the masterful; Ichabod, the Injun strategist; Dill, the rotund and voracious, and Helen Battleax, gallant defender of her brother's innocence and helplessness?
For years the tribulations of this interesting family have delighted reade rs of the Philadelphia North American, and the characters created by Cartoonist Bradford have become familiar to thousands. In fact, the Pickleweights have grown to be such an institution that more space and special treatment are required to chronicle their explosive history.

Next Sunday, July 11, therefore, they make their appearance in the Sunday North American, occupying a full page, in colors. Henceforth, it is understood, they are to be known to fame as "The Peaceful Pickleweights." Bradford announces that they have moved into the country, in the hope
that tranquil scenes, far removed from the turmoil of the city, will allay the hostilities that have divided them. The first page in the series shows them installed In their new home.

Unfortunately the occasion is marred by some deplorable accidents; but it is the universal
hope that the family has entered upon a career of peace. This is only one feature of The North American's new comic section, which, it is declared, will be the best in the country. With the Pickleweights will appear each Sunday the original Katzenjammer Kids, whose antics have convulsed uncounted readers; "Just Boys," a page of homely humor that will delight everyone who has known childhood, and a fourth page, on the most indulgent of young parents and "Their Only Child." This new comic section will add immensely to the fascination of the Sunday North American and should prove a source of never-ending deltght to all who enjoy rollicking fun.

Order from your newsdealer today.

*****

**You can read a Jesse James dime novel from 1901 at
 https://web.stanford.edu/dept/SUL/library/prod/depts/dp/pennies/texts/lawson_toc.html

*** Read a 1914 Fred Fearnot dime novel at

https://web.stanford.edu/dept/SUL/library/prod/depts/dp/pennies/texts/standish2_toc.html

**** Read Horatio Alger's novel Andy Grant's Pluck at

http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/14831

Grandpa Ramer, Letter Writer Extraordinaire

My Grandfather Lynne O. Ramer wrote scores of letters to people: relatives, college friends, students, and strangers including public figures, could count on his sending a letter.

When Gramps died in 1971 I received his personal papers, as per his desire. They were stored for many years before I could see what was there. Here is a selection of letters he received from the famous and near-famous.

Robert F. Kennedy

What 1962 article in the Saturday Evening Post did Gramps write about in his letter to Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy? I can only wonder! But RFK wrote a nice letter back.

US Senator Warren Magnuson

Senator Magnuson refers to the contents of Gramp's letter. Gramps also wrote that the Senator supported the oceanographic research bill S. 901 which was 'pocket vetoed' by President Kennedy.

My grandfather had sent Senator Magnuson articles about the Lobo Wolves of Kane, PA. Summer of 1961 my grandparents, my mother, and I went on a trip to Pennsylvania. My mother and her siblings had all been born in Kane where my grandfather had been a teacher. We visited the Lobo Wolves and I have post cards, a flyer, and a magazine article about them in my scrapbook.

Lobo wolves postcards

Flyer for the attraction

Dr. McCleery saw his first wolf as a young man. After earning his doctor's degree he returned to his hometown of Kane to practice. The U S. Biological Service was exterminating the wolves that had once followed the Buffalo but now were attacking cattle. In 1921 McCleery asked for several wolf pups and he started a zoo or preserve for the wolves. They were filmed for the Walt Disney film The Legend of Lobo.

Magazine article on the Lobos at Kane, PA

 After McCleery's death, Paul Lynch took over to care for the wolves.

Senator Philip Hart

A letter dated September 13, 1961, from United States Senator Philip Hart mentions that Senator Magnuson had forwarded him Gramps' letter of September 9. "This I have read with much interest. Your observations and philosophical comments have brought home to me some things I have not thought of before, and I am grateful to you." Gramps noted that Hart supported Magnuson on 

S 901.

Governor G. Mennen Williams

This letter from Michigan Governor G. Mennen Williams responded to Gramp's congratulations on his appointment as Assistant Secretary of State for African Affairs. Gramps wrote about Kayoes Mogaji, a Nigerian he had been exchanging letters with after seeing Kayoes' letter in the Saturday Evening Post.

The Governor graciously thanked Gramps for sharing Kayoe's letter and even said he would "do my best to say hello to Kayoe and give him your personal regards." The Governor also said, "if there were more people like yourself helping the "Kayoes" of Africa, I am sure there would much more understanding in the world."

Gramps notated,"but he (Williams) didn't find the time when in Lagos! Kayoes saw "Soapy' from afar! From the street."

Gramps added, "Kayoes Mogaji, 21 in 1959, sent a letter to Editor (Saturday Evening Post), "Ben" Hibbs [editor of the Saturday Evening Post], asking: "Tell us about U.S.A.; from 12 Eiselgangau Street, Lagos, Nigeria. Subsequently, we exchanged a dozen letters--"bearing gifts"--with Kayoes and two others. "Brown, yellow, and black boys"--all members of Lagos Epis.[copal] Cathedral Orchestra."

So my grandfather wrote to members of the Lagos Episcopal Cathedral Orchestra after reading Kayoe's letter in a magazine!

Williams' term as the Governor of Michigan ended on January 1, 1961, at which time President Kennedy appointed him to the post of Assistant Secretary of State for African Affairs, where he served from 1961 to 1966. 

George Pierrot's World Adventure Series

Whenever we were at my grandparent's house we all watched George Pierrot's World Adventure Series,  Mondays through Fridays at 5 pm. The show debuted on October 10, 1948, on WXYZ and ran until 1979. 

I have a letter dated November 29, 1961, written from Pierrot to my grandfather, a response to Gramps sending him a lengthy letter and a clipping of his article "Mindin' Cows and Larnin' which had appeared in the "We Notice That" column in his hometown paper the Lewiston Sentinel. 

Pierrot wrote,

"I had a little bit of farm experience. My father was a doctor in Seattle but he operated an orchard in the Yakima Valley of Eastern Washington. We had no livestock, but summers we had a pony, and drove a team of horses ten hours a day, cultivating and ditching for irrigation. In 1913 when you were ten, I was fifteen and getting reading for journalism by editing my high school newspaper. Later I edited the University of Washington daily and took my A.B. in Journalism at the same University.

"I edited both the American Boy and Youth's Companion. In 1913 the editor would have been Clarence Budington Kelland [later to become editor of the Saturday Evening Post], later to become one of America's most popular magazine writers. I was his protege when I came along in 1922, and he was very helpful to me. As a boy I also used to read Horatio Alger, G. A. Henty, and the rest. You could turn in an Alger and get another one for an additional nickel. I remember par, for reading an Alger book, was from 4 p.m. when I got home from school to 6 p.m. when it was supper time. The skinnier Alger books took less than two hours.

"Well, I'm the only one in my immediate family who isn't a teacher. I am glad that I have always managed to stay in fields where the dissemination of information was the important thing, such as the American Boy. Such as our illustrated lectures. And our tv shows, on the average, are as informative as we can contrive without losing the popularity that keeps them on the air.

"It is always a pleasure to hear from a teacher, especially when he is a former reader of the magazine where I spent fourteen happy years.

"Sincerely, George F. Pierrot"

The second letter from Pierrot to Gramps is dated December 15, 1961. It is more formal in tone.

My grandfather affixed a Detroit Free Press newspaper clipping from February 27, 1971, written by Charlie Hanna and entitled, "At 73, George Pierrot is TV's Oldest Travelor." Hann writes that in the 1930s Pierrot was the country's youngest magazine editor and was then the nation's oldest television star of the nation's first and longest running travel show.

Ralph J. Bunche, Under-Secretary, United Nations

My grandfather was related to Maude Shannon Ramer, whose cousin Rev. James Shannon was the motivation for an international gathering for understanding in Aaronsburg, PA. Mr. Bunche was one of the attendees. You can read about it at my post here.

Upon the Reverand's death, my grandfather wrote to Mr. Bunche, forwarding Maude Ramer's letter regarding her cousin's death.

A June 14, 1960, letter from Mr. Bunche to my grandfather includes a copy of the letter he sent to Maude, who had also written to him.

"I am very sorry to learn that he is gone," Mr. Bunche wrote, "...he was a thoroughly dedicated man who stood for the right, fortified always by the staunch courage of his convictions. It is too bad, in the light of his deep interest in Africa, that he could not have lived to see the exciting developments that have been taking place in that continent, with almost explosive rapidity, during the past three years."

copy of Mr. Bunche's letter to Maude Ramer

Ann Lander

In April 1960, My grandfather sent columnist Ann Landers an article he had written entitled "This is Your Wife" recounting all the things husbands take for granted. Ann wrote back, saying, "If the married world were packed with husbands like you, I'd be out of business."

Walt Disney Studios, Carl Nater, Director

Grandpa had a masters degree in mathematics. In his later life, he taught calculus and trigonometry at Lawrence Technological University. He had developed a cartoon Micky Mouse to explain algebra.

He wrote a letter to Walt Disney Productions and received back a letter dated October 16, 1962, from Carl Nater, Director.

"Your very fascinating letter has been received and I've been asked to answer it for it does relate rather closely to some of our activities. This division is responsible for the distribution of our films which have educational values to the schools and we, therefore, work quite closely with the school people all over the country.

"The use of the Mickey Mouse symbol to explain some of the concepts in algebra strikes us as being most imaginative and while I fear I have forgotten all of the algebra I learned at one time I shouldn't be a bit surprised that it is well received by your students. I have two youngsters at home who are currently struggling with algebra and I'm going to give them a chance to use the "Mickey Mouse" approach.

"It is obvious to us you are certainly a real teacher and I should think every youngster who has been in your classes has had a wonderful and exciting experience with algebra. We are most grateful for your interest in our activities and thanks so much for your letter."

I admit that when Gramps tutored me in Algebra I passed the class.

Roger Blough, U. S. Steel

Gramps had attended Susquehanna University with Roger Blough, who became Chairman of the Board of U. S. Steel. Blough and President Kennedy had a battle over steel prices. Blough's article in LOOK magazine on January 29, 1963, offered his belief that the market, not the government, should set commodity prices.

This letter from Blough dated October 12, 1959, is interesting only for Gramps' note: "Nick" Blough and I were building cleaners, "white coats" (table waiters) at S.U. in the 1920s."

Denis Baly, author "Geography of the Bible

A. Denis Baly was the author of "Geography of the Bible" and a professor at Kenyon College. A December 12, 1961, letter notes his engagement to speak in Detroit, and Gramps noted he was at the lecture, noting, "He's wonderful!"

Baly mentions his upcoming trip to Syria and Lebanon, and to see Abu Simbel "in case they do not manage to collect the money to protect it!" The ancient temple of Ramses II was threatened by the planned Aswan Dam. The money was raised to relocate the temple.

Harold Moldenke, author of Plants of the Bible

When I was a girl my grandfather gave me a thick stack of educational papers in biology, prepared by Moldenke. Moldenke was another Susquehanna U alumni, class of 1929. My grandfather had sent him a leaf for identification

Gramp's note reads, "Hey, Jack! Got the hepatica along his (John Geiger) lake (Dunham!) Now dig up root, stem & leaves; leave to dry, then send that poison ivy (like) plant to the above--you'll know! We (and wives) have been constant pals since 1942! Our kids (4) and theirs (2) grew up together--H.S. (Kenmore, N.Y.) Their kids were grads of M.S.U. and U of M (Roger has 2 A.M. from U of  M!

Had my grandfather lived into the age of social media, he would have been a Facebook addict with thousands of friends.

Summer 1971: Endings and Beginnings

The summer of 1971 brought huge changes in my life, beginning with a family death and ending with love.

Gary and I, July 4, 1971

Early in the summer I went to Adrian to visit for a few days, seeing several friends who were in summer school--including Gary. At the Pub the guys flipped the pressed metal ashtrays for fun. I had a midnight curfew to get back to the dorm; until then, Gary and I walked around campus and sat on the hill in front of Peale Hall.

A bit flattened, but this is an ashtray
from the Pub which the guys liked to flip.

On July 1 a Kimball friend visited me, struggling with personal issues. I did not know how to help and I did not want to get sucked into the drama. I was burned out from trying to keep Adrian friends away from drugs. Now I just wanted to be happy with Gary. I never called her back. I felt guilty for a long time, feeling I had let her down. Thirty years later she said she did not recall I had ever let her down.

On July 3 Gary took me to meet his family. I wrote that they were nice. They grilled and we ate outside. His Grandmother Bekofske was there. She was a character with a glint in her eye. She told me how she became "emancipated" from the "tyrant tea."

Gary and I at his parent's home

On July 4 Gary joined my family for BBQ in the back yard. My Ramer Grandparents and Uncle Dave and his family were there.

I am on the right, dad across from me.
Grandpa Ramer is at the far end on the right.

Grandma and Grandpa Ramer, July 4 1971

When Gramps learned that Gary had never seen The Shrine of the Little Flower he had to take him for a ride to see it right then. Learning that Gary was considering seminary, Gramps offered him his sermons.

My Grandfather Ramer, my mother's father, was born to an unwed mother in 1905. They lived with his maternal grandmother in Milroy, PA. Before Gramp's tenth birthday, both his mother and his grandmother had died. He went to live with his mother's sister's families.

My grandfather Lynne O. Ramer with his mother

Gramps was a good student and a quick learner. His Uncle Charlie Smithers would reward him for memorizing the state capitals or Pennsylvania county seats. Gramps was accepted to Susquehanna University, working in the kitchen to pay his tuition. After earning his BA, he stayed to earn a Master of Divinity.

Grandpa Ramer on the Susquehanna College kitchen staff

Gramps was Evangelical Lutheran. When he did not get a call, he and his college friend Roger Blough attended Columbia University Teacher's College in New York City. Gramps was hired to teach mathematics and history at Hartwick Seminary, near Cooperstown, NY.  He fell in love a student. After working his way across the country during his summer break, he returned and asked her parents for her hand in marriage.

Grandpa Ramer in the Kane High School yearbook

They moved to Kane, PA where my grandfather taught high school math. My mother and her siblings quickly arrived so that by age 21 my grandmother had four children. During WWII Gramps worked as an engineer at the Tonawanda, NY aviation factory testing airplane struts and his family lived in war housing in Sheridan Parkside.

Gramps at the Tonawanda, NY plant

In 1955 my grandparents moved to Royal Oak, MI. Gramps was an engineer at Chevrolet, taught at trig and calculus at Lawrence Tech, and was a deacon at an Episcopal Church in Ferndale.

Granpa Ramer in the Lawrence Tech yearbooks

Gramps, far left, as a deacon

Somehow he found time to write hundreds of articles for his hometown newspaper and hundreds of letters to people all over the country. In the late 1950s he became interested in research out of Columbia University's Lamont Observatory and obtained funding for the project through his old friend Roger Blough, who was then head of U.S. Steel.

Gramps 

On June 7 I got a job at Burger King on Main Street. I bought a uniform and shoes and studied for the job. A lot of us had been hired and we crowded the kitchen. I was not proactive and waited to be told what to do. The job lasted one day. I didn't make the cut.

On Friday, July 10, Gary arrived for the weekend. He almost stopped by to see Gramps first. On Saturday, July 11 my family and my Ramer grandparents had dinner at the Wigwam.

After my grandfather's first heart attack he gave up smoking, walked more, and lost weight. But on Sunday morning, July 12, I wrote, "Last night around 6:00 pm Grandpa died. I loved Grandpa much. He was a wonderful man. "

I was devastated. "I cannot word the sorrow, I cannot pen the knowledge and burden of truth, I cannot spell the doubt of what actions to perform. I can only feel and wait for enlightenment."

I hated going to the funeral home. I wrote, "I bit my lip and hung to the back of the family, with Gary at my hand. I wouldn't go up and look at Grandpa because it wasn't natural, it wasn't really him." Gary reminds me that I said "that isn't Grandpa; it is only the house he used for a while."

Someone was finally taking care of me. I wrote that I never had thought about marriage before, especially before I had completed college. And I was only 18. And Gary was still deciding about seminary or teaching. But, "I needed him so much and he lent me strength."

I continued, "I saw the family that Gramps began, raised, loved, and I knew his ideas were in us, and his memory--the memories of his actions, an example to follow. I knew he would never be gone because he left himself behind--I knew it was not a sad funeral because he lived a full life, accomplished much, found happiness, and created love--what more could a person want from life? Even Gary had been touched by Gramps." Tom and I and our cousin Mark came home about 7:30 pm. We ate and watched TV until everyone returned around 11:30 pm.

"Grandma called this morning. She found a letter in Gramps' desk, [which] he wrote it in '69. He said he wanted a simple, closed casket funeral. I was to get all of his writing and correspondence and the family tree information. I always said I wanted them."

On July 12 my college roommate Marti and her boyfriend Sam came to the funeral parlor. That evening I cried listening to Limelight [Charles Chaplin's theme song from the movie by that name]. I wrote I was "filled with joy for the love Gramps bore for me, the ideas and help he gave me. I thought of the family he made when he had none, and how we loved him."

July 13 was my grandfather's funeral. I wrote that "it was not a sad funeral because he had accomplished much, found happiness, and created love. What more could a person ask? A sad funeral would be for the man who never loved, never was loved, but forever dwelt on his own pleasures." I noted that I was rereading Thomas Wolfe's chapters about Ben's death.

Gramps was interred at White Chapel cemetery, near a Blue Spruce like the one in his Berkley back yard, and not far from a giant cross.

Mom stayed with Grandma that evening. I contemplated the future and life. I wrote, "the sky was blue and the trees were green and the wind blew down strong--The stars against the evening sky shone brilliantly. Grampa said, "sentimental bunk--but what make us tick?" I realized it was at Gardenia the summer we moved when I found Gramp's 101 Famous Poems and discovered poetry. And now he's got me into the Maryland Anthology."

Grandpa Ramer had shared my poems with Maryland poet Vincent Godfrey Burns who edited an anthology and had accepted my poem. I don't know how Gramps knew Burns, but he had a copy of the book he wrote, I Was A Fugitive From A Chain Gang and I had read it.

Gramps had shared his books with me. He had taken me to visit a professor whose son had a large telescope for summer studies and I saw Jupiter's rings. He gave me mimeographed educational materials on nature and science prepared by one of his friends. On a trip to New York State, Gramps took me to see his Hartwick Seminary student Pastor John Kisselburgh who wrote Shadow of the Half Moon. When a girl, he took me to see a Tarzan movie and The Story of Ruth. And I had met his friends and family in his hometown of Milroy, PA and in Tonawanda, NY.

When I went to college he sent me a weekly letter full of family news, and always included coins taped to a paper in the shape of a smiley face.

Grandpa Ramer taped coins to index cards to
include in his weekly letters to me when I was at college

I wrote, "I feel him in me-- his strength, ambition, ideas. I believe I inherited a lot from him."

Over the years I tried to be like him. He never met a stranger, always finding some mutual ground to build a relationship upon. Many years later, on the morning of my Grandmother Ramer's funeral, I was outside of a store waiting for it to open, chatting with a man who was also waiting. It turned out he had been one of my grandfather's students in Kane, Pennsylvania! He had ended up working in Detroit also. He told me that my grandfather was a wonderful man.

Grandma Ramer asked me to write to Ben Meyers, the Lewiston Sentinel columnist who shared hundreds of Gramp's letters recalling Milroy in the early 1900s. I wrote that Gramps passed away in his backyard among his 'posies' and trees.

Gary had to study for his psych exam the weekend after the funeral. I played my records and looked over my scrapbooks.

July 14 I was working in telephone sales for a real estate office. I hated the job. I had to take a bus and transfer to another bus, costing 45 cents. "I always get lost and the drivers are never helpful, and everyone on the bus sits unsmiling and alone so all the seats are full and I have to go to the back of the bus for a four block ride because no one wants you to sit with them, except violin players."  I had sat with a girl with a violin who took lessons at Wayne State. I ran into her several times.

"I wish I could read and write and play piano and read Gramp's books and letters and visit the cemetery--no time with this stupid job. I'd rather be active, or outside, but no, and every day a dress and stockings--I hate it."

On July 17 I wrote, "The only thing that kept me sane was selling raffle tickets for church, the rocks in the parking lot where I ate lunch, and walking to Save-On in the evening." I always liked rocks. I hated the windowless room and my boss and the commute.

The next day I went to Swanton, OH, to attend the birthday party of my Adrian friend George. He and his girlfriend Nancy took me on a tour of their hometown. From there I went to Adrian to see Gary. I left Adrian at 9 pm and ran out of gas coming home and had to walk to a Texaco station!

June 21 Gary was visiting and we went to Great Scott where I saw a Kimball friend. Gary had brought his Jesus Christ Superstar album to lend me and I gave him Clair de Lune piano music and my copy of Voltaire's Candide. The boy I used to date now and then called. I expect I told him I was seeing someone from college. I always knew he was in love with someone else anyway. I lost my telephone soliciting job.

Margie

I was in contact with Kimball friends, including Peggy who told me Shirley and Lynn were camping with their boyfriends. Margie from Herald staff brought her 1971 Lancer to show to me. I felt sad hearing Margie talk about Kimball and I wondered if "tomorrow will measure up to yesterday." Margie was going to Albion in the fall. We 'rapped' about college. A girl called me to update me on Kimball kids gossip. Somehow she knew all about who was dating who.

I watched Love Story and The Sterile Cuckoo on tv at Grandma Ramer's house.

Sunday, July 26  Gary and I went to see my roommate Marti, and with her boyfriend, we went to the Detroit Institute of Art. For my birthday on July 28, Mom made hot dogs and cake. Gary gave me a bronze incense burner.

Gary announced that he had decided to go to seminary after college. He was deciding between Garrett in Chigaco and METHESCO in Ohio. I was supportive of Gary's decision.

In August I picked up my Grandfather's papers and books, which my parents would store for me. Gramps' sermons, stoles, and surplice were also put into storage for Gary to use in the future.

It was coming up to a year from when I met Jim, and over a month since I let him know about Gary. I said I was finally "getting over my hate, I mean, defensive dislike to override my guilt complex. Looking back he [Jim] was really ok." Earlier in the summer, on June 5, I wrote that I had broken up with Jim because I "am a creep with a guilt/doubt complex" who was unable to find it "seriously possible to really love" since my heart was broken by my old high school boyfriend. Gary was the first to make me feel love again.

Over the summer, Dad took Tom and me fishing. I went to K-Mart to buy records, had dinner at Arby's and ice cream at Ray's, visited my Aunt Nancy, Uncle Don, and Uncle Dave and their families. Mom, Dad, Grama Ramer, and Aunt Nancy and my brother Tom all had birthday parties.

Gary and I had joined my folks and the McNabs at the Galaxy Drive-In, all in separate cars. The McNabs, my family, Gary and I went to Algonac and on the St. Clair River. Gary took me to picnic at Bloomer Sate Park and we went swimming. I mentioned going to the cottage of a boy from my church who was also at Adrian.

On August 30 Gary and I went to the Michigan State Fair for the Sunrise Service, which was televised. The Youth Revival sang hymns and a song by Peter, Paul, and Mary. Grandma Ramer joined my family for pizza that night.

I was preparing my shopping list for college: contact solution, Ten-O-Six, Dew Kiss lotion, toothpaste, instant coffee, new slacks, nylons.

Summer was over. It was time to return to Adrian. Several of my freshman friends were not returning including Elaine and Jim. I was considering changing colleges to be nearer to Gary. Western if he went to Garrett? Kenyon if he went to METHESCO? But I would loose my state scholarship. Gary even talked about renting a room from Grandma Ramer and commuting to METHESCO.

I looked forward to a semester together at school with Gary, but I knew that come December he would be leaving for seminary and I did not know what that meant for our relationship.

Stories My Mother Told Me and Other Memories of Mom

Joyce Ramer (left) and Doris Wilson

My earliest memories of my mother Joyce Ramer Gochenour was watching her blond ponytail swinging across her neck as we went downstairs from our apartment. I remember a lounge outfit of black pants and a quilted red jacket trimmed with gold roses embroidered on black. I remember the music she played on the record player.

Mom did not write down her memories but she told some stories over and over and I never forgot them. Some of these stories have been shared from Dad's memoirs. Here is how Mom told them. 

Joyce Ramer baby photo

Mom was born Juy 26, 1931 in Kane, PA, the first child of her parents Lynne O. Ramer, who taught mathematics and history in the high school, and Evelyn Greenwood Ramer.

1935 Evelyn Greenwood Ramer and Lynne Ramer

After graduating from Susquehanna College and seminary, and earning his teaching degree from Columbia, Lynne taught at Hartwick Seminary in New York State from 1926-1930. Evelyn Greenwood, age 17, was his student. He fell in love with her. That summer he traveled the country, working odd jobs to pay his way. He came back at summer's end to ask for Evelyn's hand in marriage.

Lynne took a job teaching mathematics at Kane High School in Kane, PA.

The Ramer house in Kane, PA was a duplex

Evelyn Greenwood Ramer and daughter Joyce

Kane HS yearbook photo of Lynne Ramer

Following Mom's birth came her sister Nancy in 1934, and then twin brothers Don and Dave in 1935. By age 21 my grandmother was overwhelmed running a house with four children. My grandfather was raised on a farm and orphaned at age nine. He had worked his way through college and seminary by working in the school kitchen. He could do anything and often stepped in to handle things when his 'child bride' was overwhelmed.

Birth Certificate of Joyce Ramer

Evelyn Greenwood Ramer and Joyce

Joyce Ramer's school class photo. 

Joyce Ramer

Nancy and Joyce Ramer. Don't you love those 1930s dresses!

The Ramer kids spent summers with Eveyln's parents Delia and Cropper Greenwood at their home in Watervielet, NY. Cropper had immigrated from England and sent money for Delia's passage. They lived in Troy, NY where Cropper was a chauffeur for Thomas Connor. Delia was a nurse and took care of Johnny Monroe, who had no heirs, and Johnny left them the house to repay her. It was a large house in the country, with a wide pillared porch.

Cropper Greenwood at his home where the Ramer kids summered

My Aunt Nancy told me there was a hill they liked to sled down. Mom said they loved listening to the radio, especially liked Fibber McGee and Molly.

Mom liked meat but hated peas. Her brothers hated meat. She did not understand why the siblings couldn't just trade for the foods they preferred. Instead they were not allowed to leave the table until they cleaned their plates. They hid the food in the soil of the potted plants and along the ledge under the table. Gramps did not allow elbows on the table while eating. A rap on the knuckles awaited offenders.

The Ramer Kids: Joyce, Nancy, Dave and Donald at
Charlie and Annie Smither's home in Miltoy

As a girl Mom went ice skating on a river. One day she and her friends were skating and she broke through the ice, going under water. She could see the blue ice over head. Luckily, she was pulled out and survived.

Joyce Ramer

In 1941, when my mom was thirteen or fourteen, my grandfather lost his teaching job. The family moved in with my Great-grandparents Greenwoods, and Evelyn's brother Freddie got Lynne a traveling sales job selling frozen foods to stores across New York State.

Then WWII brought work at the Chevrolet aircraft factory in Tonawanda, NY where he worked as a testing engineering. He needed to prove he was an American citizen and returned to Milroy to search for a birth certificate. He wrote later he did not find it, but people vouched they were at his birth and he got the job.

1952 Lynne Ramer at Chevy Aviation Lab, Tonawanda NY

The Ramer family moved into the Sheridan Parkside housing project, quickly built duplexes to house the war time workers in the local factories. Fred Greenwood and his wife Dot moved to the projects, too. Their daughters Patty and Lynda where born there. At the end of the war they moved back to Troy, NY.

Moving was an adjustment for Mom. Her gingham dresses were acceptable in the rural school she came from but in the sophisticated 'city' school she was out of style and needed a new wardrobe. She liked men's jeans and shirts for casual, skirts and blouses and sweaters for school, and always saddle shoes with white wool socks.

Fashionable Mom posing in men's jeans and shirt, saddle shoes and a Navy hat

Mom's teenage years living in the Sheridan Parkside Projects, jitterbugging at the local dances, and hanging out with her friends, especially Doris Wilson, were her happiest memories. They did not have a lot of money during the Depression but her mother sacrificed so Mom had new dresses for the prom, and she always had a quarter to give Mom for the Saturday movie.

Mom said the Project kids hung together and were not integrated into the Kenmore High School. The 'new kids' of the projects had their own social gatherings, dances, and  hang-outs.

Mom loved to dance. She was the jitterbug queen of the Project. She danced with the boys and when there were no boys she danced with her girlfriends.

Mom and her friends would fool around in the Sheridan Park. One winter Mom and her girlfriend watched as the guys turned their backs and pissed their names into the snow! She claims she didn't see 'anything'. (She did have two little brothers.) Another time the gang used their heels to dig their names into the sod of the golf course. They were, of course, caught and punished.

Mom on the right

Mom's best friend was Doris Wilson. Even after she left Tonawanda they kept in touch. She told me that no matter how far the distance or long the time, when they were together again their relationship never changed.

Mom's sophomore photo (left)  from Kenmore HS

Doris told me that Mom could get miffed and give her the 'silent treatment'.  After a day or so, Doris would make the first move: she knew Mom loved tuna fish sandwiches, so she'd made a big sandwich and take it to Mom. After that they were always best buds again.

Doris Wilson and Mom

Mom also loved saltines and peanut butter. One time she was sitting on the steps of her Project house and a boy passing by commented, "No wonder you're so fat." That hurt. Mom also relished baked bean sandwiches, and after we moved whenever she returned to Tonawanda she stocked up on Grandma Brown's Baked Beans.

Mom saw my dad on the bus and tried to get his attention. She was fifteen and Dad was sixteen--and very shy, even though my Aunt Pat Ramer told me that all the girls all had a crush on him. To get Dad's attention, Mom stuck her leg into the bus aisle as he came along. He tripped. It didn't work; he didn't talk to her. Then Mom got a mutual friend to bring Dad to her house when Doris was with her. He didn't talk, just watched those silly girls wrestle. It took a long time before Dad came out of his shell, but Mom finally got her man!

My folks' love affair did not go smoothly. They had their problems. All the kids smoked in those day, as did the adults, and Mom took up the habit at age 16. Dad came from a conservative family. He demanded that Mom give up smoking. She told him that no one was going to tell her what to do. She was not a woman to be ruled. They broke up for six months.

Mom dated another boy during that time while Dad moped about. He started smoking too, and came and apologized to Mom and they got back together. Mom said she was lucky she didn't stay with the boy she'd been dating as he later was charged with bigamy!

Mom told me many of the same stories that Dad wrote about, including how he took her to Putt's farm in the Alleghenies and left her in the woods while he went hunting. She sat there a long time, alone and got mad at him: some date! Dad would pick her up on his motorcycle and take her to school. One time they hit a bump and Mom was bounced off. Dad kept going, not noticing. Mom got mad. On their honeymoon at Niagara Falls in January, 1949, Dad brought comic books because it was too cold to sight-see. He thought he was providing entertainment. Mom got mad: some romantic honeymoon!

Mom's graduation photo from Kenmore HS

Mom worked as a comptugraph secretary at Remington Rand in their first year of marriage. Mom said she'd leave the vegetables in the pot on the stove in the mornings to make dinner faster at day's end. Mom never liked working. When her girl friends started having babies she told Dad she wanted to start a family.  Mom quit work while pregnant with me. She was 21 years old when I was born and Dad was 22.

Mom and me

I was a cholicy baby who cried all day and all night. In those days babies were fed formula, and I couldn't digest the milk. Mom took me to her parent's house in the Project so my experienced grandmother could help.

Dad had been greatly disappointed that I wasn't a boy. I was to be Thomas. He avoided me until one day when Mom left me in his care. While changing my diaper, a job I'm sure Dad disdained, I smiled at him. That changed everything. I was OK. Seven years passed, and two miscarriages, before Dad got his son, my brother Tom.

Mom and I on the right, Dad and Linda Guenther on the left

Mom told me stories about my antics that got me into trouble.

The old house had rats and poison was placed in the crawl spaces. One day I came out the front door of the house and saw a dead rat. I had never seen a dead thing and was heartbroken. I picked it up--by the tail--and brought it to the door, crying for Mom. Mom was horrified. She yelled at me to drop the rat and go wash my hands. I did drop it..On the floor of the house on my way to the sink! Mom had a fit. She said after she threw the rat out the door and it came to and ran off. It wasn't quite dead yet!

I was an artistic child. I loved crayons and paper dolls and the illustrations in the Little Golden Books Mom brought home from the A&P grocery store. My artistic experiments got me in trouble.

Mom wore bright red lipstick, and it fascinated me. One day I got a hold of it and colored all over the wall. I got a spanking. Another time I found the baby powder and poured it out all over the rug. I got a spanking. I drew pictures of princesses on the inside covers of her books. I don't know if I got a spanking for that because my grandfather's books were similarly decorated--perhaps by Mom.

Mom did support my artistic interests. She gave me drawing sets from John Gnagy with pencils, erasers, sandpaper sharpener, paper, chalks and pastels. They are still available at http://ow.ly/p37j306FIlF.

Mom loved to paint. She took up painting classes at adult education in the school. She did Tole painting, decorating a metal wastepaper can and letter holder. After trying watercolor she switched to oil painting. I would sit and watch as she explained her process. Later in life she took oil painting classes with a local artist. Mom could get in the 'zone' painting, losing track of time.

One of Mom's early paintings owned by Alice Ennis

Mom also loved to read. She liked historical fiction, especially about the kings and queens of England. It must be genetic, because in college I fell in love with British Literature. Mom stayed up late into the night reading and sipping Pepsi. Which explains her unwillingness to get up early in the morning!

The Club. Mom is on the right, my Aunt Alice is next to her.

Mom stayed in touch with her Project girlfriends. They had The Club, meeting monthly of friends. They went out, or gathered at each other's homes for food and cards.

Mom was always singing snippets of songs, which I wrote about in Songs My Mother Sang Me which you can read at http://ow.ly/ofa2306BMbD. She also played records of her favorite hit songs. Two recordings I vividly recalled I later identified as The Poor People of Paris by Les Baxter and Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White by Perez Prado. Her love of dancing never left her, and I would come home from school to find Mom watching American Bandstand. She also loved going to the Ice Capades and I remember going many years.

Mom loved home decorating and decorating for holidays and wrapping presents with bows. At Christmas I looked forward to the decorations she brought out: a Santa face, the cardboard fake fireplace, the aluminum Christmas tree with blue ornaments lit up with a changing color light. You can read about my posts on 1950s Christmases at http://ow.ly/8Xoc306BM2f.

Christmas 1955

Doris told me that if someone liked something Mom had, next time Mom saw them she would give them what they had admired. She loved giving gifts. Christmas was so much fun for her. I always had a big pile under the tree. I wanted to grow up and have lots of money so I could give it to children who did not have what I had.

*****

When Mom reached puberty she developed a skin condition, psoriasis, an autoimmune disease. Her condition worsened with each pregnancy. She also had psoriatic arthritis. After my brother was born she suffered her first major joint loss. Mom wore a neck brace and she had a device hanging from the door which was used to keep her neck stretched. She lost mobility in her neck. She also lost flexibility in her finger joints.

Mom was devastated by the psoriasis and as a teen was concerned she would be 'unloveable'. The psoratic lesions in adulthood covered her trunk, legs, and arms, her scalp, and deformed her nails. Mom took to wearing long pants and long sleeves. She tried every treatment the doctors offered.

The list of all she underwent is pages long. As a teen there was mercury ointments. Tar ointments came later. Long soaking baths with bath oils loosened the scales but left her with bright red patches. She took aspirin for the joint pain until it ruined her stomach. When I was a teenager Mom applied a tar ointment and wrapped herself in plastic wrap, then had UV light treatment until she developed pre-cancerous lesions.

I was grown up and married when one day Mom asked me if I had ever been ashamed of her. I was stunned. Mom was always looked young and pretty. I remembered her long, blond hair when I was a little girl. She loved a party. She taught my girlfriends to jitterbug, still organizing parties but now for my friends.

Having a mom with disabilities and health problems was just normal. I learned to see through people's appearances to who they were inside.

*****

Mom told me that when she was a little girl her mother took her by train from Kane, PA to see her Greenwood grandparents in Troy. There was an African American porter on the train, the first person of color she had ever seen. She asked my grandmother why he was brown. Grandmother quipped, "because he is made of chocolate." Mom went over and bit his hand to see. How Grandmother explained things to the porter, I never learned.

Mom obviously learned that people are people regardless of differences in appearances. During the 1967 race riots in Detroit, when we lived a few miles up the road from Detroit, Mom was angry at neighbors who voiced their prejudices against African Americans. My teacher in Civics taught us that there was only one race, the human race, and Mom's reaction confirmed his teaching.

A few years later, during one of Mom's many hospital stays for a new treatment for psoriasis, her roommate was an African American woman, They bonded and afterwords Mom went to visit her. She came back very distressed. She was embarrassed to live in so much nicer a house and area than her friend. How could she invite the woman to her house when she had so much?

What was this 'so much' that we had in the 1960s? A 1920s house with a tiny kitchen, one bath, and a dirt driveway. K-Mart clothes and Depression era dinners heavy in the casseroles that stretched dollars. One car. No vacations, except visiting our Tonawanda relatives. We also had security, values, decency, warmth, love.