Two Old Chairs

Next Monday we move out of the parsonage and the next day move into our 'forever' home! Gary was recognized as a retired pastor by his conference of the United Methodist Church and also by the local church he has been serving. 42 years of service in an official capacity has ended.

We had a big sale this weekend and cleared out all our treasures. They found loving homes, which made me very happy. We had many antiques rescued and restored. We also had lots of rescued treasures that were shabby but comfy. Like the two brown chairs, shown below, that we bought for $10 each at a garage sale.

The chairs amid other things no longer with us

Our neighbor's mother had to give up her own house to move in with her daughter's family. Her treasures had to go. We looked at these chairs, 1984 chairs with a pineapple print on brown fabric, and she immediately ran to our side to tout their comfort. We bought them. She was so thrilled, and it was obviously not because she made a lot of money from their sale.

We loved those chairs! They were SO comfortable! We considered reupholstering them. It would cost $770 labor plus fabric. But our retirement home is a 1969 ranch, quite small, and we need small scale pieces. We had decided to decorate in Mid Century Modern.

We agonized over letting them go. We were selling the 1920s couch we upholstered in red velveteen, and the 1915 lamp with the silk beaded lamp shade. We were selling the treadle sewing machine with the Sphinx motifs. We even decided to part with the 1940s rocking horse that had served three generations of Bekofskes. But could we part with these shabby chairs?

We put the chairs in the sale and prayed that they did not sell. If they were still there at day's end, we'd assume it was 'meant to be' for us to keep them.

People flocked to the sale before we even had everything outside. Within an hour a man from a block away came. He has been restoring an 1898 house, intending to make it into a Bed and Breakfast. He needed old things for decor and for use.

His wife sat in the chairs! And they bought them right away. They were so comfortable, they said. They will be the third owners of these chairs, each owner won over by their comfort. They also bought the sewing machine, which will look lovely on display there.

We joked together that we'd have return and stay at their B&B to sit in those chairs again.

At day's end we were left with books, junk, and a Depression era berry bowl set. Everything had gone home with other people.

The silk beaded fringe lamp went for a fraction of what we paid for it at auction twenty years ago. But the woman loved it so, and her new (second marriage) husband was so sorry he could not afford it. We had enjoyed it for twenty years. It owed us nothing. They had $20. The lamp went home with them, the wife beaming with joy. There is a large migrant population in the county who work picking asparagus and fruit. They came looking for practical things, sprinklers and mops and towels. A gal loved the reverse painting on glass old window I painted a few years ago. I hardly expected anyone to care for it. I even sold oil paintings by Mom, my brother and myself. I tried giving away some small things, only to have quarters pressed into my hands. People are basically decent.

We made good money from the sale because we were selling nearly everything we had. We sold at give-a-way prices. People HUGGED me they were so happy. I was happy too, knowing that things I loved would give joy to another family.

So I learned the joy of letting go.

Our years in parsonages have included good times and bad times, loving and joyful people, and unhappy and sometimes mean people. It is time to let go of emotional baggage as we are letting go of the physical things we have carried. Trusting that we leave behind good memories, small tokens that will offer comfort like a comfortable old chair.

Catching Up with the Jane Austen Family Album Block of the Week

I had three weeks of blocks to do!

War Wounds: The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway

I have just read The Sun Also Rises, which I last read perhaps 30 or more years ago, and which I first encountered as a girl, perhaps 12 years of age, when I watched the movie version on Bill Kennedy's Showtime. As a girl I was moved by the story without understanding it. As a teen I bought the book and read it quite a few times. Now it is 2014 and I am over sixty, and the book seems profoundly sad and I understand it is not a love story, it is a war story.

For those who have not read this classic book, it is the story of men who had been soldiers in World War I and a woman who had been a Voluntary Aid Detachment nurse. They meet up in Paris and plan to meet again at the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. In the interim, Jake is joined by his friend Bill for a fishing trip in Spain, a time of lyrical and idyllic beauty.

Lady Brett Ashley and Jake Barnes fell in love when she was his nurse during the war. Brett's first love died in the war. Jake's wounds prevent him from normal sexual function. Brett flits from one joyless, meaningless encounter to another, while depending on Jake to pick her up when things go wrong. Brett is engaged to a bankrupt drunkard who is very aware of her alliances with other men.

Their friends include Robert Cohn, whose Jewishness was targeted at Princeton so that he took up boxing. Robert was Jake's friend before he fell for Brett, who takes him up for amusement then discards him. Robert's jealous stalking of Brett leads him to beat up his rivals. Brett goes off with a beautiful and talented bull fighter half her age, unable to deny herself anything even when she knows it is wrong. The forward by Sean Hemingway refers to the "carnage" left in Brett's wake. When I read of the bulls tossing human bodies, I immediately thought of Brett.

"I can't help it. I've never been able to help anything."
"You ought to stop it."
"How can I stop it? I can't stop things....I've always done just what I wanted."

In the end Brett calls for Jake to rescue her from herself. Brett muses on what their life may have been like, and Jake replies "Isn't it pretty to think so?"

Hemingway's readers would have understood the background shared by these characters. The war is always present, although rarely discussed.

"It was like certain dinners I remember from the war. There was much wine, an ignored tension, and a feeling of things coming that you could not prevent happening."

WWI saw 4,734,991 U.S. men in service. Of the 116,515 dead, 53,403 died in combat. Men dug trenches, then were sent 'over the top" into "no man's land" through a barrage of machine gun bullets, trying to reach the enemy trenches. Today we refer to "cannon fodder." Men going into the hail of bullets, no protection. Bodies piled up between the trenches.

204,002 men were wounded. And the wounds were horrible. Mustard gas blistered the skin and destroyed men inside and out and death could take weeks. Every war brings technological and medical advances. Plastic surgery was honed in this war, and the development of prosthesis and artificial noses and masks. Smithsonian Magazine had an article about The Faces of War  and the people who endeavored to restore a human face to the disfigured WWI soldiers.

Then there was Shell Shock, originally believed to be concussions caused by exploding shells. Men were given a few days R&R then were sent back to the front. By 1918 the condition was called War Strain, and later War Neurosis. Today we call it Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Depression, anxiety, flashbacks, egocentric behavior, emotional withdrawal, and addictive behavior are all symptoms. 80,000 cases of "shell shock" were diagnosed during WWI.

Brett and Jake met when he was hospitalized and she was a nurse in the Voluntary Aid Detachment. Women of the middle and upper classes, between the ages of 21 and 48, who wanted to help in the war effort joined the VAD. They worked in primitive circumstances. And they were exposed to gruesome wounds and maimed bodies, suffering and pain, and death. Brett would have understood what her first love had suffered.

The picture came back to me of myself standing alone in a newly created circle of hell during the 'emergency' of March 22, 1918, gazing half hypnotized at the disheveled beds, the stretchers on the floor, the scattered boots and piles of muddy clothing, the brown blankets turned back from smashed limbs bound to splints by filthy bloodstained bandages. Beneath each stinking wad of sodden wool and gauze an obscene horror waited for me and all the equipment that I had for attacking it in this ex-medical ward was one pair of forceps standing in a potted meat glass half full of methylated spirit.
Vera Brittain, describing a field camp hospital in Etaples in 1918

"Funny, how one doesn't mind the blood," Brett says about the bull fights.

Gertrude Stein's famous epitaph "You are all a lost generation" described the cohort generation who reached adulthood during WWI, known as The Lost Generation. Rereading the book, I realized that being lost was not a lack of direction and purpose. This cannon fodder generation was suffering from PTSD, self medicating with alcohol, and fearlessly seeking thrills. They were emotionally impaired, unable to truly connect in any meaningful way. It is pretty to think that true love could save anyone, but we know that if Jake's physical wounds were healed,  Brett's emotional ones would have destroyed any possibility of a happy ending.

Hemingway started the book in 1925 and in 1926 the manuscript was sent to Maxwell Perkins, legendary editor at Scribner who also worked with F. Scott Fitzgerald, Thomas Wolfe, Alan Paton, Erskine Caldwell, and James Jones. Hemingway and Fitzgerald had met in Paris and Hemingway was impressed by The Great Gatsby. Fitzgerald offered advice, including careful editing of the opening chapters which are offered in the appendix in this edition. The rewrite reads vastly superior.

The original opening chapter began with Bill and Hem ( Jake) meeting the young bull fighter. Duff (Brett) is with her fiance and cast off lover but is lusting for the bull fighter. Chapter II describes Duff (Brett) as having "had something once" but was pretty much a drunk now. In the final version she was "damned good looking." Her first husband was an abusive drunk who had tried to kill her. She was waiting for the divorce to come through for two years. Hem/Jake was the first person narrator in the original Chapter II.

"I don't know why I have put all this down...but I wanted to show you what a fine crowd we were." from the deleted chapter II

"To understand what happened in Pamplona you must understand the Quarter in Paris." from the deleted chapter II

The original draft ends, "Cohn is the hero." What a different book that would have been. Hem/Jake
as the sidekick to Cohn, like Gatsby's Nick Carraway. (Published in 1925, Nick is also a WWI veteran.)

How men respond to the stuff life throws at them reveals their character. Hemingway uses Brett as the stuff thrown, and her willing victims all react differently. Her fiance Mike makes rude comments, stays drunk, and carries on. Jake finds solace in his work, fishing, and tries to find peace in what little faith he still possess. Jake is a rock in public, but feels like hell in private. Each veteran in the group finds their own way to cope, with alcohol being the main way.

"It is awfully easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime, but at night it is another thing."

Robert Cohn takes it all very badly, and his comrades, and Brett, get mighty sick of his mooning about. "I hate his damned suffering," Brett tells Jake. Cohn has no war experience. He can't accept that Brett treats what they shared so lightly, and takes on the White Knight role trying to protect her from herself. He does not fit in. His Jewishness becomes an easy slur, but it is really his old fashioned values that set him apart.

Enter Pedro Romano, the bullfighter. He is the most beautiful boy anyone has seen. He has integrity in the ring, not stooping to the showmanship tactics of some bull fighters. He is unsullied and nothing like these Lost Generation men. Brett can't help but be attracted to this boy who stands for everything she has lost. She feels 'a bitch' and knows she will ruin him but still goes off with him. They are followed by Cohn, the boxer.

The novel is almost 100 years old! Today we may snicker at Brett's dilemma, we know there 'are ways' to overcome Jake's limitations. We abhor bull fighting and the mistreatment of animals. But do not underestimate the novel's relevance to today's problems. War still maims our sons and daughters. During WWI shell shocked men were ostracized as slackers, even shot by their own generals. Today we evade responsibility for treatment. There is nothing new under the sun. A generation comes, a generation goes, the sun rises and the sun sets, and we still send our youth into war and they still return to us wounded.

The e-book I was given access to read is part of The Hemingway Library Edition from Scribner. Supplements include early drafts and deleted chapters and prefaces by Hemingway's son Patrick and grandson Sean. It will be published July 15.

When the World Was Young by Elizabeth Gaffney

The advanced praise was promising. So I was very happy to have received this book from Random House through NetGalley for advanced review.


It is Brooklyn, New York City, on V-J Day. Wally is interested in ants. Her grandmother and mother are both physicians and it is assumed Wally would go to medical school. But at seven years of age she only wants to start her own ant colony, under the direction of the family maid's son, Ham. WWII had taken Wally's father away, and Ham had never known his dad. Wally's womenfolk were busy with their careers. And so Wally and Ham grew up together like siblings.


Then things start to go awry.


Wally's life unravels with loss after loss. She grows up, still studying those ants, and finds love---in all the wrong places it seems. In the early 1950s she learns the truth behind her family's story, and accepts the consequences of the choices she has made in her young life.


See, you want to love this book. But I nearly gave up reading it because it became too much like a soap opera. Too many tragic events take place, and the character development does not help us understand the motives behind the choices. Also I was not too impressed by the women who get bored with their men and seem to believe that love is only about sexual spark.


The book deals with Big Issues: interracial relationships, the Atom Bomb, suicide, what makes a family, what is love, how to handle loss, the consequence's of keeping secrets. Perhaps Gaffney needed to use an editing eye, for any one of these issues would have been enough for one book.




When the World Was Young
by Elizabeth Gaffney
Random House
To be published August 4, 2014
ISBN: 9781400064687

The Donkey and the Unicorn

Once upon a time there was a Unicorn who was languishing in a closet. He had been rescued from an Antique Mall many years ago, and had at that time been hopeful of leading a productive and happy life. And for a brief time he did. Then his rescuer decided he was too nice for every day and back into a closet he went. His rescuer was in fact a HOARDER with hundreds of handkerchiefs and napkins and linens stashed away in the closet. The Unicorn was FORGOTTEN.

But some weeks ago a man named Dustin saw his photo in a web album. Dustin knew he had to bring the Unicorn home. So he proposed a trade: He would offer to make one of his famous Giddy-up Donkey blocks to ransom the Unicorn from it's meaningless existence.

Dustin created a red, white and blue background of tiny squares. The colors were that of the American Flag, and also mirrored the floral background of the Unicorn. The Democratic Donkey was made of Republican Elephant fabric. Now, what will we make of this political statement?

The HOARDER promises that, after she has a sewing room again, she will NOT just stash the Donkey in her capacious closet (or other storage unit) but will actually, in fact, put him into a QUILT. By the 2016 election.

And we all look forward to seeing the Unicorn in one of Dustin's creative projects!

Fifty One Years Ago: June 1963 Trends, Fashion, Decor and The Kennedys

In June of 1963 I was ten years old and we were moving to Michigan from New York State in 1963. 

I am fifty years older now, and moving again!

Did you ever wear swim caps covered with big rubber flowers? Mom's was in turquoise and aqua. I used to borrow it when I was in swimming class in high school. It must have looked pretty dorky by 1966! Then, I was also wearing Mom's old Jantzen swim suit, a one-piece built like an exoskeleton, until she bought me a new one when I was 15.

We want to remodel the 1969 kitchen and are replacing the 1980s appliances.What kind of kitchen was modern in 1963? Colonial decorating was still in.

 We never had a dishwasher, and Mom died in 1990 without ever having owned one. I did not know that bottom drawer refrigerators were around back then either.

What foods were in the kitchen? Spam, Tang, and Bosco!

We ate on Melmac dishes.

 Everything was being made of plastic. It was new.

 We bought vacuums that had not changed much over the years.

 But the luggage was no longer cardboard or fabric, it was plastic and streamlined....and "fashionable."

Mom still collected Green Stamps and turned them in for cool things, like metal coolers in red and tan plaid.

Swimsuits were modest.

 Little girls wore cute sun sets.

The following year Skipper from Mattel came out, wearing a cute sun set.

Simplicity Patterns offered patterns for simple shifts. It looks so formless to me now.

Platinum Blonde Bombshells were considered beautiful. This Breck ad advertised products for tinted, toned or bleached hair. And suggested watching Gene Kelley in "Going My Way" to be aired on ABC-TV on Wednesday at 8:30 E.D.T.

From Bombshell to innocence, gingham for Mom and Daughter, complete with embroidery ideas.

Magazines always had a few short stories. 

We were obsessed by President Kennedy and Jackie.

It is hard to believe, but a poll conducted by Good Housekeeping found that the majority of American women were not impressed by Jacklyn Kennedy! She was not considered beautiful, women were not impressed with her television persona, and most thought too much attention was given to Jackie. And yet they also thought she was the best First Lady since Eleanor Roosevelt! People liked Jackie's intelligence, her renovation of the White House, and proficiency in foreign languages. They did not like the extensive press publicity of the Kennedy family, and 15% did not like Jackie's speech and her hair style. The women also thought she spent too much time away from her children and they wanted her to wear a hat to church.

The woman who popularized the pill box hat, which I had to wear to church age age 11, was criticized for not wearing a hat to church? 

As for President Kennedy, people did not like the Kennedy Dynasty and his big family! Was that a cloaked Anti-Catholic sentiment? They thought he was too wealthy to understand Middle America. 

Most of the panelists felt that the Kennedy's marriage was off-limits and nobody's business.

Kennedy came out ahead in mock contests against Romney and Goldwater. But the panel also gave no evidence that there were "permanently committed" to voting for Kennedy. A large majority were "uneasy about the President's propensity for accelerating the political progress of his relatives." 

The President was assassinated five months later. America quickly idolized Jackie. She is today one of the most admired First Ladies.

Choices.Vintage Ironing Boards.

How to set up the ironing board

I had three ironing boards to chose from: a very old wood one I found at the curbside, Mom's metal one from the 50s or 60s, and the light weight one I bought twenty years ago.

I removed the cotton cover and padding from the wood one and found the original label.It was older than I had even thought! The illustrations show how to set it up. Not an easy process.





Which one to choose?

Mom's ironing board

1. I will be able to set up a permanent sewing room that will meet my needs. I hope to make a great space with good lighting and useful storage. I could make a padded table surface for ironing.

My first sewing room was in a basement

My second sewing room was in a guest bedroom corner

For 2 years I had a huge guest room to take over

2. I will still need to iron things like a shirt. Occasionally.
3. We have a lot less space to fit into. Plus our son is still living in our retirement house.
4. My future sewing room space is today an empty corner of the unfinished side of the basement. The ironing board would have to be stored and set up as needed.

My future sewing room today

My brother took the wood ironing board. He will do something interesting with it. He mentioned seeing an instrument made out of an ironing board. Perhaps like the one at AQS Quilt News found at: http://aqsquiltnews.blogspot.com/2009/05/during-our-planning-meeting-in.html

steel guitar ironing board!

Mom's vintage metal one is really heavy. Mine is light. I am having trouble lifting those cast iron frying pans we use. On the other hand my light one is shaky and unstable.

A little research found a Proctor Hi-Low from 1964 on Craig's List.











And this ad from 1952.

And another ad showing a happy housewife who can sit down to iron. I have set my ironing board up next to my sewing machine. I have a small "rolly" secretary's chair and can swivel from sewing machine to ironing board to press as I sew. But I don't know I'd be able to iron a shirt sitting down.

Grandma ironed sheets and skivvies. Mom had me iron Dad's shirts and handkerchiefs when I was not in school. But I never ironed a sheet, or skivvies, in my life! Am I a slacker? Or is it the poly-cotton blends that have saved me from that task?



I had decided to keep my light one, as it is so easy to carry around. I have had it hanging from the back of a door. But now I have changed my mind. Mom's ironing board has lasted all these years, it is perhaps as old as I am, and it is better made and more stable. My cheap light one will go. After all, Mom's will "end sewing drudgery forever!"

A great blog post with ideas for wood ironing boards can be found at First A Dream http://firstadream.blogspot.com/2010/08/wooden-ironing-board.html