Schism & Recovery: Two Years in Delton

June, 2010 we moved again, to a town with under 900 people. The closest city was Hastings and most people worked in Battle Creek or Kalamazoo. A local attraction was the Gilmore Car Museum in Hickory Corners. Not far was the Kellogg Bird Sanctuary, recreation areas, lakes, and even a casino. Gary's mother as a teen had spent summers at a church camp on nearby Gull Lake.

Kara and Suki

We really thought that Faith UMC in Delton would be our last appointment before retirement. We were not excited to be in an even smaller town than we had lived in before but we went in with a positive attitude. The upside was being closer to Clawson and Gary's father.

Faith UMC, Delton, MI

Our doggies took the move well. When they found a huge linen closet with piles of rugs and blankets on the floor waiting to be put away, Kara led the way to stake a claim. He and Suki moved in, happy as can be. As puppy mill dogs, they were used to intimate spaces. We gave them a bowl of water and they kept out of the way as we settled in.

Suki and Kara staked out this closet for their bedroom

A nice lady from the church volunteered to paint the parsonage. She became a good friend. The parsonage was a 1970s, two level house with a home office, three bedrooms, a bath and a half, and finished, if dated, basement where I set up my sewing room.

The Delton parsonage with the church in the background

The house was surrounded by open land next to the church complex, a huge mown area enclosed by a farm field, with a wooded marshy area beyond that.

 wheat field view from our deck 

The wheat field was very beautiful. Only later did I wonder about drift from chemical applications to the field. Now that I know about these things, I am concerned about the safety of the parsonage so close to farmland.

Sandhill Crame in the mown wheat field

Sandhill Crane came by the hundreds. A family came in the spring and summer. After the wheat was mown, they came to feed. And in the fall they gathered by the thousands before flying South.

Sandhill Crane on the wing

Our dogs loved the open field! We had Suki on a 100-ft rope but Kara we could let run as we could always catch him. Kara loved to sit outside in the sun and Suki was happy, with her tail held high.

Kara enjoying the sunshine

Suki blossomed. For a dog who had been afraid outside of four walls, she loved running as fast as she could. We trained her on a 100 foot rope; she would lag behind me so she could run the full extension. I removed the rope when I thought she had learned her 'territory'. She would run around the field, and then run to my side, smacking into me. She would lean against me and let me pet her. This was huge for our shy, damaged dog.

Suki loved running free, fast as the wind

The dogs loved playing with a dog that lived across the street, Jack. Whenever Jack's owner saw us out he brought Jack over to play.

Starlings

There was always something new. One day I found a rare salamander in the field. I saw a murmuring of starlings one fall. Another day I watched a hot air balloon take off! The sunsets were glorious.

Hot air ballon

Central UMC in Muskegon held a quilt show and asked me to bring quilts. I had completed my original quilt I Will Lift My Voice Like a Trumpet while there. This was its first showing. In 2013 it appeared in the American Quilt Society shows in Grand Rapids, MI and Lancaster, PA.

I Will Lift My Voice Like a Trumpet, by Nancy A. Bekofske

Also in the show was my crayon tinted and embroidered Children of the World quilt, a vintage newspaper series pattern.

 And my Little Women quilt, the pattern by Marion Cheever Whiteside Newton and sold in 1952.

Little Women by Nancy A. Bekofske, left

My Pride and Prejudice quilt, my original Story Book quilt inspired by Newton's patterns, and Cranes in Winter also were in the show.

Pride and Prejudice Story Book Quilt by Nancy A. Bekofske, left
Cranes in Winter, right.

And Remember the Ladies, my First Ladies redwork quilt, and Autumn leaves.

Remember the Ladies and Autumn Leaves by Nancy A. Bekofske

It did not take long for Gary to learn about some issues of contention that had been simmering in the church for years. He did note in the meet and greet that the church officials did not support the United Methodist mission board, where Gary served as the committee on relief disaster response secretary. Instead they supported a mission board from another denomination that focused on evangelism, not relief. By October the issues became apparent.

Gary was approached by church leaders about his stance on several divisive social issues and asked if he would support and join the group's resistance to the denomination, even if he would be willing to lead the church in separation from the denomination. He would not, and that meant he was the 'enemy'.

Over the next months it came out that twenty years previous a charismatic preacher had brought in members from a more conservative denomination and when he retired this group was never happy with succeeding pastors. They had assumed leadership over the years. They attended a second praise service. They ran an organization that helped unmarried pregnant women, providing support and baby layettes and supplies. The group was against abortion and this was their outreach to support their values. Gary supported this ministry as reflective of the congregation's core values.

My husband answered questions put forth honestly and Gary's views were considered too liberal. One of the most irate leaders attacked Gary and his sermons during Sunday School in the church building. The virulence and anger all landed on Gary.

The group wanted to leave the denomination but keep the churc--building and membershp--and the investments and everything else.

The Bishop sent people to meet with the congregation in open meetings. First, to explain the Social Principles of the United Methodist Church. The denomination has struggled for decades on being inclusive to the world wide diversity of  views on hot-button issues. The founder, John Wesley, tried to circumvent division; as long as the core Christian beliefs were agreed upon, members were to 'think and let think'. The Social Principles were guidelines and at that time stood against abortion but recognized there were circumstances that led people to choose abortion, as in the case of deciding to save a woman's life or the baby's life. This upset this core group. But they also believed that money flowed to groups they did not approve of. Many stopped tithing or offering support to the church. Homosexuality was another hot button issue. Our denomination does not support gay marriage or appoint pastors in homosexual relationships. Yet the ddenomination was considered too liberal.

The Bishop's envoy explained that the local church did not own the building or the investments. Closing the church meant all assets went to the conference. That infuriated this group.

Gary and I

During these months, Gary was under huge stress. He started grinding his teeth, wearing them down significantly. He also went on the same anti-anxiety medication I had been on for two years. Looking back, I wish I had not been an involved pastor's wife. I was suffering the same anxiety as my husband. I sat in one meeting where people tore down the denomination we had served for so any years, and I wondered if our lives had been wasted, the sacrifices for nothing. I sat in the pew, crying, alone.

Before leaving the church and starting a community church, the group tried to destroy the church they could not keep. But they failed.

A core group held fast to their roots and church. When the church split they remained.

Gary had to make a decision. The congregation could no longer afford his pay level. We had the Clawson house and a dependnt son. We could not take a pay decrease. There were no real job posibilities for me. I had sent out some applications on arrival, to no avail. I was selling on eBay and Amazon and writing articles which earned me pin money. We felt broken. Did Gary move on? Or did he stay with equitable salary help from the conference and work for healing and new vision?

We stayed another year.

The remnant surrounded us with love as Gary helped them to envision a new future. I was in a Sunday School class with some great folk. I went to the weekly craft circle with more great folk. They ended every meeting in a prayer circle remembering the needs of people in the church and the greater community. I supported the service projects by contributing quilts and handcrafted purses-and buying the pizzas they made to raise funds.

I joined a book club at the library, led by a retired college professor. Many of the ladies were from the church. We read some great books, including books on Detroit-- Arc of Justice by Kevin Boyle and The Dollmaker by Harriet Arnow.

I took decorative painting classes with a church member, a retired teacher who had moved to their vacation home on a lake nearby. She was a nationally known decorative painting teacher. Another great group of ladies! I found I was quite adept at painting. The group went to lunch after class.

Ladybug banner by Nancy A. Bekofske

Loon by Nancy A. Bekofske

Blue Jay by Nancy A. Bekofske

We made friends with some great people. Learning Gary liked to make bread, another bread-making man gifted Gary bread recipes books.

Kara

Sadly, in the autumn of our first year, Kara's health began to decline. His kidney failure was worsening. We tried changing his diet, and finally water therapy to flush the toxins out. Suki knew her friend was not well. In the end we were giving Kara the water treatment every day in our home. He hated it. It upset Suki to see him upset. We had to let Kara go. I bawled. He had been so much trouble, so expensive. But he was also charming and loveable.

A professional artist who was a member of the church offered to paint Kara's picture. Later she also made a painting of our first Shiba Inu, Kili, as a going away gift to Gary.

Kara playing, Kili, and Kara sleeping painted by Nancy Munger Anderson

Suki was so depressed. We went online to research another companion for her. We found Safe Harbor Animal Rescue in Vermilion, OH and drove out to meet several new dogs. We loved one for his beauty, but he was totally shut down and broken in spirit. I wanted Suki to have a friend that would bring her out. Another was happy and would have been a good companion for Suki. But it was the third dog who won Gary's heart. She followed him around. And we brought home the dog we would name Kamikaze.

Kamikaze

Kamikaze had spent her life in an Amish puppy mill in Ohio and was only 'out' in the world two weeks. She had the spirit and joy of a puppy. She was excited by life and loved attention. She hopped when she ran and flopped to her belly when she did the Shiba Shake because of a congenital issue with her hips. She suffered from interdigital cysts between her toes from a lifetime standing on a wire cage.

Kaze  was also confident and pushy. She stole Suki's toys. Suki let her. She stole Suki's food dish. Suki let her. She stole Suki's favorite sleeping spot in the corner. Suki stepped over her and somehow crammed into the corner. One time Suki did go after Kamikaze. I heard Kaze crying and Suki had hold of her neck. I pried open Suki's mouth. There was no broken skin. Apparently Kaze learned her lesson for it did not happen again, even with Kaze doing her Alpha dog thing. Suki, the stronger and larger dog, just let Kaze be boss.

We still made trips to Clawson to visit Gary's father, and once brought him to the house to stay for a while. Our son was living in Clawson, looking for a job after graduating from Grand Valley State University. It was a hard time to find work and he did not know anyone in the area except my brother. We let him borrow both dogs, or Kamikaze, for long visits to keep him company. When we found ourselves with four vechicles we downsized: Chris kept my dad's Dodge Ram and we traded in his Taurus and our car for a new vehicle that could hold two dog kennels for traveling. We gave my Buick, which my old boss had given me, to Chris's college friend.

Gary's second year came to an end and the conference found a suitable pastor for the church. I designed and painted a banner for the Sunday school classroom.

Banner by Nancy A. Bekofske

 My painting teacher was very excited about how far I had come.

We had high hopes for our last church. The District Superintendent would not tell Gary what church was being considered, but said she'd go there in a flash. It got our hopes up. We were pretty shocked to learn we were returning to Lake Michigan, to a resort town where we used to take our son to the district family camp: Pentwater. 

Sunset in Delton